Page 15 of Contrition

“You act like you haven’t seen me naked before. Or that we aren’t married.”

Her arms only tightened around her at that, and my heart panged as I heard her sniff. She was crying again.Fuck me,I was an absolutely damned idiot. “That’s so not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

“You. This. That. You don’t get to say that to me right now. That’s not fair.”

I hung my head. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I…we have a lot to talk about. Can you just come here, please? I know you’re freaking out right now, and it’s absolutely killing me.”

Another sniff—though this one was followed by a large flinch as yet another crack filled the air. As lightning hit the surface of the sky, my eyes got a better glimpse of her face in the dark. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to see her lip wobbling and tear-stricken face. “Why?” she asked.

“Why what, love?”

“Why is it killing you? Why do you even care? Why now? Is this just a game to you?”

I sighed before giving her a mere fragment of the ache that surrounded me. “No, Estrella. You were, and have never been, a game to me. I’ve never stopped caring about you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Now, would you get underneath these blankets with me so I can hold you through the storm? We can talk about everything more tomorrow.”

She stared at me, debating.

The seconds felt like hours as she weighed her options.

If she went back into the room by herself, I wouldn’t follow her. I’d give her the peace she deserved. The processing time she needed. And yet, I couldn’t help but release the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding as she walked towards me, flung the duvet off of me, collapsed on the couch, and then threw the blanket over us once more. Clinging to me.

“Fuck, baby,” I groaned. My arm wrapped around her waist and I tugged her closer to me with her back at my chest. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“You don’t get to call me pet names.”

I flinched like she had smacked me, grateful she couldn’t see my facial reaction to that statement. That was more than deserved, though. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

She huffed, even as she wiggled impossibly closer to me. I bit my lip as her ass nearly ground into my dick, but forced myself to remain calm and neutral. “Don’t do that, either.”

“Do what?”

“Make me want to forgive you just because you’re being nice to me.”

“I-I’m sorry?”

“Stop it!”

I shook my head even as my grip on her tightened. “I really don’t know what you want me to say or do right now, Estrella. I just want to be here for you right now. Tell me what I can do.”

Another thunder crack filled the air, but that time, she flinched into me rather than by herself.

Even knowing she felt safe enough to cower into me felt like being placed on a pedestal.

I’m so sorry, baby,my subconscious whispered.Let me take care of you.

Her voice cracked in half as she spoke seconds later. “Why did you leave me? Why are you being so nice to me now if you cared about me all along? What thefuckis happening?”

I tucked my head into the crook of her neck and inhaled. My heart shattered at the sound of her voice and the scent of her. The scent and warmth I had missed more than anything over the years. “Tomorrow. Let me tell you everything tomorrow. Then you can decide if you hate me. Okay?”

Her shoulders shook as the tears kept coming. “You’ve hurt me so bad.”

“I know.”

“I shouldn’t forgive you. Ever.”

“I know.”

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