Page 8 of Contrition

At her happiness.

At her happinesswithout me.

No, I wasn’t shocked to see her in the slightest. What I was shocked to see, however, was that she would be working for us—involuntarily—when I had been begging and pleading to see her for just over two years. Text messages, letters, and countless tickets had gone unanswered.

Even when the divorce papers were still being delivered.

Only for her to show up anyway.For her job.

An ache pounded at my heart at the realization.

She was only coming because she had to for her livelihood.

Not for me. Not forus.

Theo’s whistle brought me back down to reality, and I rubbed my anxious palms together as he spoke. My anger was slowly beginning to fade into absolute terror. “Damn. That’s our girl. She’s working for us? I didn’t know she had responded to anything you sent,” Theo commented.

I nearly growled. “Shehasn’t. And she wasn’t supposed to be working for us, either. The email says our previous photographer was fired due to a deadline issue or some shit. She’s being sent to us against her will.”

“Oof.”

“Fuckingoof? That’s what you have to say right now, you jackass?”

“Uhhhm,” he started, scratching at the nape of his neck. “But like, she’s still coming, right? There’s a positive side to this. We can actually talk to her. We can explain ourselves. This is a good thing, man!”

I blinked before my head dropped to my tattooed hands. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to laugh, scream, or cry. The emotional intelligence that came with heartache, longing, and loneliness often turned you into a brittle shell of a person, and yet, I somehow only felt the highest of highs or the lowest of lows—all at the same exact time. “She’s never going to hear us out.”

“Yes, she will.”

“No, she won’t.”

Theo kicked at my black Converse, and I jumped back in shock. I didn’t even heard the fucker walk toward me. Yet, there he stood, towering over my pathetic, weakened frame—shirtless, wearing just a pair of black boxers, and showing off all of his tattooed ink. Too close for comfort without a buffer. “You left the love of your life because I was a jealous dumbass who made you choose between love and blood, and yet you’ve stayed faithful to her for years, even when you could’ve just moved on. You never forgot about her. For fuck’s sake—half of our songs and our hidden album areabouther. She just…needs to give us one more shot. And we can go from there. She’ll hear us out.”

I gnawed on my bottom lip.

Easier said than done. Especially from Mr. Sunshine over there.

“Yeah…right. Because not only do we have to explain to her why I broke her heart and you deserted her as her friend and brother-in-law, but we also have to explain the following sentence: ‘Hi, my star. I’ve missed you. Theo and I have talked some over the last eight years, ya know, and we want to share you. Together. Forever. Yay us. What do ya say?’” I took a deep breath before muttering, “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Well…I probably wouldn’t phrase it likethat. That wouldn’t be very tumblr-happy, polyamory of us in those terms.”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s incest.”

“I want to beat you into the ground until you’re nothing but a pile of mush.”

Theo ignored the jab with a shrug and continued. “Listen. You can change your mind, you know? I can move on. I’ve seen you torture yourself for years. That girl is your soulmate, and I’m the intruder here. If you want to go back on what we talked about…I can get over myself, somehow. I may be in love with your wife, right alongside you, but I think I’ve put you both through enough hell. Don’t you?”

My answer was immediate. “Yes. Yes, you have.”

His blue eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head in annoyance. “Gee, thanks. Here I was trying to make you feel better.”

My resounding sigh could have echoed throughout the suite as my eyes bounced around manically. Except, when they landed on my own flesh, it was the tattoos on my left hand and forearm that only solidified what I knew. I traced them absentmindedly as I thought about my next words to Theo.

An abstract sun on my forearm.

A star on my left hand’s ring finger.

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