When I think about all the years I spent with a man that struggled to kiss me or to connect emotionally, I know I wasn’t following my heart. So many pieces of myself were dampened with him.
“Love is an overstatement. We just met.”
“You’re feeling something, so what is it?”
I refrain from using words like horny or aroused. “I’m attracted to him, but he’s so much older than me, and maybe the aggression will be a problem later. That, and he’s probably set in his ways. Reality says it would be a harsh transition for him to get used to living with another person, and that’ll be hard considering I’ve seen how marriage works out when you’re trying to force it.” I clear my throat and take a sip of sweet tea. “Eventually, you fight, and the fights get worse and worse until no one is hearing anyone, and you’re alone in bed crying at two a.m. I don’t want to do all that again.”
“Can I tell you something?” Mrs. Robinson leans back on the porch swing, pushing back with the tips of her toes.
“Sure.”
“My husband, Moose… I think I told you, he passed away a few years ago. When we first met, I didn’t know how to take him. He was brash, rough, aggressive, and possessive as heck. I thought that man was going to want to control everything I did, but I couldn’t stay away from him. He had this aura, this animalistic kind of pull that my body reacted to. We were married for over sixty years, and we had three wonderful children together.” She looks off into the distance and smiles, her eyes shining in the sunlight. I never noticed how beautiful they are before. Finally, she glances back. “Was he a brash, possessive man until the day he died? Sure was.” She smiles. “He was also my biggest supporter, my protector, and the only person in my life who made me feel safe.” Her frail body bends forward. “I’m not saying Boone is like my husband. I’m saying if I’d have dismissed my Moose thinking he was too much, I’d have missed out on the best experiences of my life.”
“That’s the kind of love I want. Something passionate and genuine, even if it’s messy at times.” I lean forward and squeeze her fragile hand gently. “I wish I could’ve met your Moose. He sounds like an interesting guy.”
She laughs. “He wouldn’t have said much to ya outside of pleasantries. The man only really talked to me, which is another reason I loved him so much. I felt so special with him, like I was the only person on Earth he enjoyed.” She stands and stares out at the playground. “If you see Boone again, put in a word with his brother about this project. I want this thing finished so the kids can play. He stopped getting back to me a month ago.”
I think the whole town thought this project would be finished a lot faster than it has been. “I’ll put in a word, for sure.” I stand and lean into her for a hug, breathing in the slightly floral scent on her skin. I can’t tell what kind of flower it is, but it reminds me a lot of lilac. “Thanks for listening to me ramble. You have no idea how thankful I am for the friendship we’ve built over the past few months. I have friendships all over town with folks, but sometimes I think they only like knowing me because of the radio thing. It’s hard to open up.”
“Sure thing, sweetheart. Anytime.” Her smile is soft and sweet as her blue flowered dress blows back in the breeze. “I’ll be listening to your radio show in the morning. Can’t wait to hear your topic of the day!”
Topic of the day.Oh right, I was supposed to be focusing on the topic of the day.
I hop off the porch and make my way down the sidewalk back toward my car. Mrs. Robinson’s house is the last house on Main Street. It’s like the town built itself around her. I’ve asked her multiple times why she stays. She just smiles and goes on about how many memories she’s planted there and how she can’t bear to leave them behind.
I don’t blame her. I don’t have the same attachment to my cabin, but I have that feeling for Rugged Mountain. Sure, a few bad things have happened here with Gary, but there’s no way anyone could stain the emotions I have for this small mountain town. This is my home, and currently, it’s the place where I let a giant of a man who’s probably twenty years older than me, finger me in an alleyway.
Who the hell am I?
My clit twitches to the mere thought of his big, calloused hands on my skin and the way his hard cock felt pressed against my stomach as he thrust his fingers inside of me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same again. How could I be? That was the ultimate fantasy. The kind of moment I read about in books or watch in movies. Maybe there’s a reason it doesn’t happen in real life. Then again, maybe it does, and I’ve never been privy to it before. Lord knows I get plenty of radio calls from folks who have done some crazy things when they’re in their feels. I had a man call last week to confess his love for his best friend’s wife. Apparently, they’d been sneaking around for years, finding moments to go wild together whenever, wherever. He detailed a specific time in his truck right on Main Street in a parking lot full of people. I guess the windows were tinted, but it didn’t stop them.
Needless to say, the caller line blew up with very mixed views on that love affair.
I climb down into my car, thoughts of tomorrow on my mind. Not the radio show or the topic I need to come up with, but the gruff, rough way Boone was with me. I’ve never been touched like that in my life…with need, pressure, desire.
A flood of excitement soaks my panties, and though I know I need to be a good girl, drive my ass home, and forget this day ever happened, a very insatiable part of me wants to find this man and lose myself in a sloppy, soaking mess of whatever he comes up with next.
Chapter Four
Boone
I never listen to the radio, but there’s no way in hell I’m missing the sound of her voice this morning.
‘Good morning Rugged Mountain! It’s a cool sixty-two degrees with fog rolling down into the valley. You’re listening to Trailblazer Radio where the path to love starts with a single step. This is your relationship expert Daphne Merrill coming to you live down at Eagle Point. Today’s hot topic is love at first sight.
Imagine this, you’re sitting peacefully by the river’s edge deep in the quiet, sun dappled forest when you meet someone you don’t expect to meet. Maybe they’re everything you ever dreamed of wanting, or maybe they’re the exact opposite, but for some reason your heart begins to pound, your throat goes dry, and you begin imagining what it’d be like to hold them, touch them, spend the afternoon talking about nothing and everything all at once.
Is that love at first sight or is it a rush of endorphins tricking your mind into procreation? Call in and share your thoughts. In the meantime, here’s a song to remind you what true love is all about.’
I’m not the most observant guy in the world, but I can’t help but wonder if this topic is about the meeting we had yesterday. Hell, Lord knows I haven’t stopped thinking about it. In fact, the way she had my heart racing yesterday left every beat since feeling meaningless.
Shamefully, I had to head straight home and take care of the urges. Thankfully, there are pictures of her all over the radio website. How sick is that? I jerked off to pictures of her smile and the way her hair looked on her shoulders while I willed my tastebuds to relive the sweetness of her come on my fingers.
I need help.
A country love song plays on the radio as my phone rings. It’s my brother Brooks. He’s been going through it lately about a girl he had a thing for. I don’t know the exact details of why they broke up because he doesn’t talk about shit, but I know it’s bad.
“Hey, man. You free this weekend? I’m thinkin’ of hitching the boat up to do some fishin’ down at the lake.” Brooks’ tone is laced with stress, and I want to help him out, but by weekend he means tomorrow and there’s no way in hell I’m missing this date with Daphne.