Page 27 of You are the Reason

The only thing stopping me from telling her now is the fear of her kicking my ass.Grow a set of balls, Jesse. I know the longer this drags out, I’m avoiding the inevitable. She’ll find out one way or another. The lies between us are getting thick. It was never supposed to be this way, but what can I do? Just blurt it all out?

Hey Kins, I’ve gotta talk to you about some stuff … So to start with, I’m in love with you and I have been ever since we were kids. And uh, the night before Kyle died he told me where he was going and told me to look after you. Oh and he thought your dad was still alive, I could’ve gone after him but I didn’t. There is also a car following you, Stanley thinks it’s connected to George Watson and that we should be careful. But, instead of telling you, Tanner and I have just been keeping tabs on you.

Now, that would go down well.

Placing my elbows on my knees, I drop my head into my hands. Lou-loo jumps up onto the couch beside me, nudging me with her head.

“Yeah girl,” I grumble as she nuzzles between my arms, forcing me to lift my head out of my hands and look at her. “I know. I’ve royally fucked this up.”

I ignored Kinsley’s phone call earlier today, but I replied to the group chat agreeing to the plans Tanner and I had already agreed on.Another rookie mistake.I should call her back, at least it will be one less thing she can grill me about.

Lou’s still snuggled up under my arm when Kinsley answer’s my FaceTime call.

“Hey, stranger,” she quips, answering the phone and propping it up on her dresser.

“Hey, sorry I missed your call earlier. I was —”

“Ignoring me?”

“I would never!” I place my hand on my chest, acting dramatically offended.

She rolls her eyes. “Okay well …” She lowers her tone slightly and glances over her shoulder. “I need to show you something in Kyle’s journal, maybe tomorrow you could come over?”

“Of course I can, whatever you need, Meadow.”

“Thanks, Jess. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Don’t you dare ask for no pineapple!” she shouts and I wink, ending the video call.

Lou wanders off, seemingly content after our chat with Kins. Leaning back, I prop my feet up on my desk crossing my ankles. Scrolling down a few names in my call log, I dial Mum’s number. I clear my throat, ready to leave her a funny voicemail, but she answers on the last ring.

“Jesse, my darling. Is everything okay?”

“Hey Mother Duck, can’t a boy call his mum without there being anything wrong?”

Her quiet chuckle spreads a warmth across my chest. “Of course you can, my boy. However, if I hear from you more than three times in the week, something is normally worrying you.”

“I’m okay, Mum, really. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

She pauses for a moment before continuing, “How’s that girl of ours?”

“She isn’tours,mum,” I laugh. “We don’t own her — but Meadow is doing well. I’m catching up with her for pizza tonight.”

“Bring her over with you next time you come home; I miss her.”

We talk for a while, the whole time all I want is to be able to tell her everything. The secrets, the lies, the mess that I’ve made; she would be able to help me clean it all up. But, I keep it all to myself. She knows though, Mum can always see right through me.

* * *

Kinsley

Jesse nudges Sophie once the movie finishes. She’s fallen asleep — again. This is the second movie night we have had together,both times she has fallen asleep before the movie even gets half-way through. She is a bundle of energy but when she stops, she crashes.

“Wake up, Shorty. Let’s get you home.”

I watch their interaction with mixed feelings, more so curiosity than anything else. Even though I’m happily tucked up under Tanner’s arm, it’s still a strange feeling seeing Jesse with someone. She smiles sleepily at him, stretching as she rouses. She mumbles something and he laughs, offering his hand to her to help her up.

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