Page 48 of You are the Reason

“How long are you gonna stick around for this time?” Josh asks, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with his zippo.

I mull over his question, trying to find the right words to answer him. If only my parents didn’t turn their nose at the mention of my brothers. Sometimes I wonder what life for us all would be like if I chose Juvenile Detention over the arranged adoption nine years ago. I was only sixteen and Harley encouraged me to take the adoption, he told me it would help set us all up for our future if one of us had a family with money behind them. In some ways it has, I guess. But in other ways, like right now, I’m left wondering if I messed up.

“I fucking knew it!” Josh kicks a drum of empty beer bottles over as he walks towards the door.

I move to follow him when Zach appears and speaks for the first time since I’ve got here. “I’ll go,” he grunts, his light blue eyes giving me the once over before dismissing me. Other than growing out his hair, which he has tied back in a man-bun, he hasn’t seemed to have changed much.

I rub the creases forming on my brow and sink into the couch beside Carter and his girl. Her hands are playing in his hair and the hoodie she is wearing swims on her, I can only assume it’s one of his. She smiles in my direction. “So, I’m finally in the presence of the mysterious Tanner Hayes.”

I chuckle. “Something like that, don’t believe anything these four tell you, though.”

“I’m Michelle, but unless you want to sleep with one eye open I suggest you stick with Micki —” Harley’s laugh interrupts her and she rolls her eyes, Carter throws his head back against the couch as if he’s heard this speech numerous times. He’s got a firecracker on his hands, that’s for sure “— it’s your death wish.” She adds.

Before I can respond to her, Josh returns with Zach close behind him. I sit up on the edge of the couch, resting my forearms on my knees. Josh walks straight past me, back to the game of pool he was playing when I arrived.

“Did you take your shot?” he asks Harley, without turning our way.

“Nah, not yet. But Bubs —”

“What are you waiting for then?” Josh cuts him off.

I lean back into the couch, Harley squeezes my shoulder moving around the couch to finish his game with Josh. Surprisingly it’s Michelle that speaks next. “He’ll come round,” she says with a comforting look in her eyes.

Carter tightens his hold on her. “She’s right, T, you know what he can be like, his fuse has only gotten shorter over the past six months.”

I don’t let myself ponder on that statement too long, the thoughts of what could have happened in the months I’ve been away. I grunt out a response and within a few minutes everyone has resumed their places as if I didn’t just walk into the shop for the first time in six fucking months.

For now, I’m home.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Tanner

Pushing myself up off my knees, I stand and walk over to the corner of the workshop where Zach is still tinkering on a 2002 Harley Davidson Softail. I lean back against the wall, sliding my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

“Pass me that,” he curses under his breath, obviously having trouble with whatever he is trying to accomplish.

Crouching down, I hand him the spanner. “Need a hand?”

He chuckles. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve forgotten how to work with your hands, pretty boy. Stick to pencil pushing.”

“Fuck off, Zach.” I stand, resuming my position against the wall. “I taught you everything you fucking know.”

He slides out from under the bike momentarily. “You’re a bit feisty, do you need to blow off some steam? I’ve got a couple of girls on speed dial?” He wriggles his brows at me and I wave him off, I’m not in the mood to play his games.

After another round of beers and catching up on the past six months, the boys and Carter’s little firecracker clear out, leaving Harley and I alone. He has a loft above the shop, whereas the boys live together in a place a few blocks away.

Harley has always preferred his own space and this spot allows him to open the shop early, or work late if need be. The workshop doubles as a place to come together; the boys always congregate here at the end of each day. I’m thankful for that, it provides me with reassurance knowing Harley isn’t always alone.

“Anything you want to tell me?” he asks, now that we are alone.

Working together, we pop the fold out bed from the couch and I collapse back onto it. My mind is spinning with everything I have held in since the last time I came and confided in him.

“Not tonight, I think I need to just pass the fuck out.”

He nods, tossing me a pillow and blanket. “I’m glad you came.”

Harley switches off the downstairs light and walks up the stairs to his loft. I will need to talk to him, tell him what’s going on but the heaviness in my body tells me I might actually sleep tonight and God, I need it.

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