Page 53 of You are the Reason

She turns, walking back inside while I stand here, regretting this whole girls night because now I am about to let all the skeletons out of my closet. How much am I going to tell her? Could I actually tell her everything?

“Help would have been nice,” she huffs, throwing two floor pillows and a blanket at my feet.

I roll my eyes, bending down to arrange everything into a comfy little corner on the balcony. “Grab a cushion or two as well!” I call out.

“And I thought I was the guest here …” she mumbles, placing our drinks down and turning back on her heels for the third time. I can’t help but laugh. She acts tough, but she really is one of the most caring people I know.

Once we are settled, Sophie pins me with a knowing look. I drop my head back against the cushion and stare out into the setting sky. Time to put my big girl pants on.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, things that no one, other than Jesse, knows. Thesethings… Tanner found out about them and I pushed him away. I couldn’t have him fixing my problems, or looking at me with pain in his eyes.” I look at Soph, her brows are turned in with concern, and when our eyes meet she reaches out and takes my hand in hers. “I haven’t spoken with him for three days. I got lost in a pretty dark place. I’m still lost, but I’ll be okay.”

She squeezes my hand, shuffling closer. “He let you push him away? You’re joking right? That possessive hunk of a man just let you say bye-bye and willinglywalked away?”

At those words, my chest begins to feel heavy and my lungs work harder to get air. Closing my eyes tight, I begin to count, in 2, 3, 4 – out 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. When I open them again, Sophie kneels in front of me with a glass of water.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “Please don’t tell Jesse about this.”

“I won’t tell him, as long as you promise me that one of us is always in the know. I don’t care if it’s me or him, as long as you’re not carrying all of this yourself. You got me?”

I muster up a smile and she helps me stand. “Let’s go jump into bed. We can deal with all of this tomorrow.”

We climb into my bed ignoring the mess around us, we can tidy up tomorrow. Flicking on the TV, I scroll through movies and shows until I pause on Gilmore Girls, sharing a look that saysheck yes,we settle in for the night.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Kinsley

A cool breeze causes me to stir,oh crap,by the looks of the daylight pouring through the windows it’s at least mid-morning. I must have drifted off to sleep whilst watching TV last night. Propping myself up on my elbows, I notice that I’m alone. “Soph?” I call out.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and into my Uggs; these tiles are pretty but they get so cold. The balcony is empty and all the pillows and blankets have been brought inside.How long have I been asleep for?I close the double doors and check under my pillow and the bedside table for my phone. It’s nowhere to be seen, neither is Sophie. With a final scan of the room, I notice all evidence of last night is gone. Even the pillow on my reading chair has been straightened.

Making my way down stairs I hear whispering voices in the kitchen. “Sophie, are you in here? I’ll need coffee before you jump out and scare me or anything like that.”

“In the kitchen,” she sings happily. “Get your cute little ass down here.”

As I step into the kitchen I see her stacking the dishwasher, gently arranging all the glassware we used last night. She turns, smiling brightly. Her smile is infectious and it instantly fills a little bit of the emptiness.One day at a time, Kinsley. You survived yesterday, let’s do it again.At least the voices are on my side today, that’s a positive.

Movement to my right catches my eye. Jesse is sitting at the dining table, fiddling with an empty coffee cup.

“You brought coffee?”

“Well, kind of … I did bring coffee, but Miss‘Kinsley needs her rest, don’t you dare wake her’wouldn’t let me bring it to you, so I drank it.” He shrugs, with that big cheesy grin spreading across his face. “Sorry, Meadow.”

“He’s not really sorry. If he was, he would take us out for breakfast,” Sophie speaks up, propping her hands on her hips.

“You guys do realise I’m doing my grad year … Teaching. This coffee wasn’t even in my budget!”

I throw my hands in the air. “My shout then, let me throw some clothes on.”

“Psst!” Jesse whisper-shouts to Sophie. “She’s willingly leaving the house!”

“I heard that!” I say, without even turning back to look at them.

These two might drive me a little bonkers, but when it comes to times like this … Times where I count on them to show up for me, they do so without fail.

Jesse

Kinsley is only gone momentarily before appearing again, her hair is up on the top of her head in a messy bun and she switched her pyjamas for leggings and a hoodie.Wait, that’s my freaking jumper!

---