Page 59 of You are the Reason

Tanner

It’s 5.54am. I’ve been watching this clock tick since I gave up on sleep two hours ago. Not only am I concerned about Jesse and the mess he is walking into, I am also losing my mind not knowing how Kinsley will react if I have to be the one to go and get her.

All I want is to scoop her up in my arms and never let her go, but how do I know her feelings mimic mine, after I willingly walked away? She deserves someone who will fight for her. All I can hope is somehow she will understand that this is my way of fighting. There will never be a battle that she faces alone.

“Jesse? Jess, can you hear me?” I speak into the earpiece.

The seconds drag as I wait for Jesse to respond.

Finally heavy breathing fills my ears. “Y-yeah Tanner, I-I’m here.”

A sense of unease washes over me, blood starts rushing through my veins. Something is wrong.

“What the fuck happened? Where are you? Talk to me!”

“Listen f-for one-once. I’m okay. Warren is here.”

Okay my arse, he is almost incoherent.Looking around my office I spot the car keys hanging by the door, I reach them in three strides and jog towards the garage.

“I’m going to get Lou and then I’m going to Kinsley’s. Meet us at the pinned location.” I toss the earpiece down onto the passenger seat and take off in the direction of Jesse’s house.

Jesse had left the side gate unlocked. Walking into the backyard, I know any second now Lou will come running towards me. “Hey girl,” I whisper as she jumps up, planting her two front paws on my stomach. I give her a big scratch behind the ears before pushing her off.

“Now, where did your dad leave this key?” I look around for anywhere a key could be hidden. “Pot plant, or maybe the meter box? Of course he couldn’t just tell me where the key would be.” Lou barks, tilting her head to the side. “Yeah, that would be far too practical for him, wouldn’t it?”

I find the key sitting in the meter box and enter the house. Lou-loo’s lead and Kinsley’s apartment key are sitting on the kitchen table, I pocket them both and lock Jesse’s door behind me on the way out.

“Come on, Lou,” I call, opening the back door of the car and gesturing to her to jump inside. The drive to Kinsley’s doesn’t take long. I clip Lou-loo’s lead onto her and look up at the two storey apartment. The French doors out onto the balcony are open, which tells me she is still having trouble sleeping. The cool breeze is a calming force for the storm she is battling within. It’s the first time I have ever hesitated to give myself access to her home, but now isn’t the time to be getting acquainted with my feelings.

The house is dark and quiet, the only sound is Lou-loo’s paws pitter pattering against the tiles. “Stay with me, girl. She isn’t going to be too impressed to see me but we need to act fast here.”

Light filters in through the second floor of the apartment; the French doors give us first-class seats to the sunrise on display. Kinsley is asleep on her bed, the blankets pulled up to her chin with one leg hanging out the side.

I let Lou off the lead and nod towards the bed. Without a second thought, she launches up and onto where Kinsley peacefully lays. I have to hold back a chuckle; in any other situation, it would be hilarious, but right now, knowing Jesse could be in danger and remembering the last time I was in this room, it’s anything but.

“Huh?” she mutters, shielding her face from the dog’s morning kisses. “Down, Lou. That’s enough,” Kinsley scolds.

Slowly, I step further into the room. “Pip?”

“Tanner?” She almost jumps out of her skin at the sound of my voice. “Where is Jesse? Why –”

Deciding we don’t have time to fluff around, I get straight to the point. “Jesse is in trouble, we need to go.” My voice comes out a little too hard for my liking and confusion is written all over her features. Softening my tone, I try again. “I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

She narrows her brows together but nods slowly. From her drawers to my left I pull out a pair of jeans and a hoodie. Tossing them onto her bed.

“Throw these on and meet me downstairs. Come, Lou.”

Kinsley meets me downstairs in a matter of seconds and I jerk my chin towards the front door. She follows silently, not at all like the girl who last followed me out this door. I hate this distance between us, knowing that she feels uncomfortable in this situation and not being able to comfort her is a test I hadn’t prepared for.

As hard as the past few weeks have been, I was able to suppress the urges to come storming back into her life whether she wanted me to or not. Now she is within my reach, it’s not going to be long before I snap. Something tells me that our lives are changing today. What I can’t pin point is, if the changes are going to be for better or worse.

I need to prepare her for what she is about to see. My body tenses at the thought of causing her pain. Where do I even begin? Do I tell her about the last communication I had with Jesse, how he could barely string a sentence together? There is also the part about her dad … She is about to see him again for the first time in fourteen years, the man whom they had a funeral for, and whom she has grieved since she was a little girl.

Without knowing any of this, all her mind will be focused on at this moment isus.The tension is prevalent, I can feel it. I can’t say anything though, I would be a real bastard to try to make today about me. Does it even matter that I knew everything before I walked away?Fuck, I can’t go soft now.I don’t need her to know all that; I’ll make her mine again regardless.

Closing the back door after Lou jumps in, I watch as Kinsley buckles herself into the passenger seat. The ignition roars to life. I sweep my fingers through my hair and I can feel Kinsley’s eyes on me, for a brief moment I close my eyes and rest my head back against the seat.Don’t even think about it.Too late, my cock twitches in my pants at the knowledge of Kins watching. The fool doesn’t realise the situation we are currently involved in. Unfortunately for us both, he will need to wait.

Chapter Forty

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