Page 36 of Trickster King

I could only presume Micky hadn’t lassoed his horses often, as the stallion stared at me with white-rimmed eyes the instant the rope tightened to a snug fit around his neck. I understood the astonishment.

The first time my wife had lassoed me with one of my ties, I’d been stunned at her aim along with her ability to transform a piece of clothing into a weapon of seduction. As a general rule, when her preferred tie for lassoing me came out, it went one of two ways. I put up a fight for fun or froze and forgot what I’d been trying to do or say, my common sense dribbling out of my ears.

I gave a tug of the rope, and while the stallion snorted at me, he came closer. “That’s a boy,” I crooned to him. Once I had him close enough to touch, I offered my hand so he could get a sniff. I kept my fingers, he relaxed, and I rewarded him with attention.

Like his daughter, the stallion drank up the affection and decided following me might give him more of what he wanted. Pleased he hadn’t put me through hell bringing him in, I led him back to the stable, staying mounted so he wouldn’t get any ideas.

Stallions tended to get ideas at the worst time.

“Nice catch,” Randy praised. “Micky said those are Chocolate Cupcake’s parents?”

“This little lady is going to be doing exhibitions within two months, you mark my words.”

“She’s moving beautifully, I’ll give you that,” the head of my detail agreed. “I’ve figured out these grain guzzlers. Micky’s having trouble with their hooves because this farm has a fungal problem, too.”

Damn it. “How bad?”

“Mild, but we’ll have to raze the fields to make it habitable, and we’ll have to quarantine the horses until the infections clear up.”

“Where the hell am I going to quarantine an entire farm’s worth of animals?”

“You can send them to the new ranch near Dallas. I’ve called, and they’re confirmed to have no fungal problems, and they are working to set up a quarantine paddock with an open stable like this. We’ll treat them before we set them loose, and it should be fine. We’ll just have to spray down all the equipment with the antifungals to keep it from spreading. I recommend putting out a public health advisory on the fungal strain. One farm is bad luck. Two at this distance is a strong indication we have a bigger problem brewing.”

I heaved a sigh, shifted in the saddle, and retrieved the gaudy phone meant to contact my wife. I dialed, braced for the worst, and held my phone to my ear.

“What’s wrong?” Jessica demanded.

“Why is something wrong every time I call and want to hear your beautiful voice?” I asked. “But there is a minor nuisance I need you to handle.”

“Okay. I can work with minor nuisance. What’s the problem?”

“I found a pair of presents for you, went to go catch them, and discovered the fungal problem is not just at my ranch. I need you to get the medical records from my current and past infections and put out a health advisory for ranches to test their farm and animals. Your presents have fungal infections, and I need to put them in quarantine. We’ll need to pass something through the congress in form of financial relief for the ranches with the infection. Entice the earthweavers with a year of no taxes paid on income if they only charge a thousand per ten acres for the work. Have the government dip into the emergency fund to cover a thousand per ten acres of treated farmland. The earthweavers will need to confirm the presence of the fungus in the acres to be paid.”

“Damn it, Pat! Are you playing in another fungus-filled pasture?”

“Well, I’m riding in one, but I didn’t know it had fungus when I got mounted up. I’m riding Chocolate Cupcake’s mother, and I just lassoed her father, and I’m bringing them home to you.”

Jessica sucked in a breath. “You found her parents?”

I smiled, as I bet my wife’s eyes were as wide as the stallion’s when I’d roped him. “I can’t claim credit for the discovery, but I’m claiming credit for the purchase. I spent out of my cattle budget to get them for you.”

She chuckled. “All right. If you’re spending out of your precious cattle budget, you had to have them for me. And you knew how much I wish we could have matching horses. How much?”

“Fifty thousand a head, and the mare is a two-for-two special. She’s pregnant but ridable, although I’ll take her off the riding list once I know how far along she is. She’s not close, as the gentleman I bought her from recommended I give her a ride to bring in her stallion.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.” I hesitated, and as I’d already spilled some of the beans, I added, “I may have bought them out of Akhal-Tekes. The entire living line now belongs to me.”

“Damn it, Pat!”

I fought my urge to laugh at her exasperated tone. “The owner is older and can’t keep up with them. They needed to be sent off to new homes, and I pitched fifty a head for every Akhal-Teke on his farm.”

“And since you sold Twilight Rose, you can pay for them.”

“And their upkeep for a while, although I expect to get a pretty penny for some of these horses. They’re perfection.”

“Pat, you think every horse on the planet is perfection.”

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