Page 4 of Trickster King

“Thank you for warning me. I would not have handled that well.”

No, she wouldn’t have—and I would have enjoyed the consequences immensely. All things considered, challenging her with my escape would be even more enjoyable. “Well, finding out you’re pregnant with two food-thieving tyrants turned it from a bad idea into something I couldn’t justify doing at all. One food-thieving tyrant would have been an entirely different matter, and I would have been tempted to run after warning only the children.”

“Don’t you dare go anywhere until I’m home. I’m expecting yams and chicken for dinner. We deserve it!” My wife hung up on me, and I smiled, returning the phone to its hook. Twins would make a mess of our already chaotic life, but I looked forward to welcoming the food-thieving tyrants into our lives.

I crawled into the cushion fort and joined my children for a well-deserved nap.

Jessica loved startling me, but her laughter over the state of my office woke me and ruined her efforts to launch a surprise assault on my person. Most times, she flicked the back of my neck to launch me into orbit although she had other tricks up her sleeve.

I quite enjoyed the other tricks up her sleeve, but the presence of our children prevented her from instigating such entertainment.

Our herd somehow slept through her mirth. I yawned, debated going back to my nap, and gave up on the idea.

Work still needed to be done, and with two food-thieving tyrants on the way, I needed to do most of it so Jessica could rest. Careful to keep from disturbing Laurette, I eased out of the cushion fort, got to my knees, and winced at the wretched state of my back. Then, as my wife would rampage if she realized my back was hurting yet again, I covered my pain with a low chuckle. “It kept the hooligans happy while their beautiful mother was enjoying some quiet time off work.”

“Randy told me you were passed out and asked me to try to avoid waking you, but I laughed when I saw your office. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Did I disturb the beasts?”

I chuckled and did a kid check, determining a week of rampaging had somehow worn the entire lot of them out. “I seem to have tired them out sufficiently. It’s hard work playing in a cushion fort all day.”

“So it seems. Did you survive without me?”

“No. I absolutely did not survive without you.” Somehow, I kept myself from grinning, using the neutral mask I’d mastered for dealing with annoying politicians. “I think my next action as the king is to bar you from leaving home without me.”

“Yet you want to do what?”

“Take a week off work,” I replied, careful to maintain my neutral expression.

“You’re something else, Pat.”

“I’m just something else today?”

“I don’t know how you’ve fooled the entirety of the Royal States, but you’re the Trickster King, and I don’t care if any other upstart wants to claim that title.”

“Really, Jessica? The Trickster King? What did I do to earn that title?”

Jessica pointed at her swollen belly. “These are only the beginning of the ways you’ve earned that title.”

I grinned, and with some help from my desk, I got to my feet. “Any man with a wife like you would be in similar shoes.”

“That was smooth. Have you been practicing your diplomacy while I was at the ranch?”

“I didn’t practice sufficiently, and I had to waste some of my better moments on other monarchs. I would’ve rather spent them on you.”

“That was also smooth, Your Majesty.”

Strolling around the cushion fort, I caught my wife in a hug, careful not to put too much pressure on her stomach, and held her, kissing the top of her head and taking a deep breath. “Do you want me to start using birth control?”

I would have offered more, but the first—and last—time I had, I’d upset my wife so much she’d shocked me hard enough she’d scared a few years off Randy’s life.

“Absolutely not! How could we have another unexpected child if you do? I’ve already been told these two food guzzlers aren’t even supposed to be here and we should be grateful we had Laurette. That witch called me old!”

I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh, held my wife a little tighter, and tried to imagine which royal physician had gotten shocked for that line. I couldn’t guess, so I asked, “Who was foolish enough to tell you that?”

“One of the ultrasound nurses.”

“Did you shock her?”

“I thought about it, but I didn’t want to teach the babies bad habits in the womb, so I cussed at her instead. She called me old!”

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