Page 9 of Trickster King

I narrowed my eyes. While I knew I was up to something, my wife was definitely up to something. Unlike her, I had no idea what she was up to, and since my wife was my wife, Jessica anticipated my next move would be to give her the slip, although she would assume I wouldn’t even consider playing any tricks while Eddie wasn’t feeling well.

I, however, knew my boy, and I’d never seen a stomach bug take him out for more than a few hours. The last time he’d suffered from a stomach problem, he’d gotten a hold of an entire box of candy bars and had thought it would be a good idea to eat them all at one time. The time before, he’d gotten his hands on an experimental batch of hot sauce, deciding his tacos needed to float in it.

The hot sauce remained a problem, as he loved it and insisted on pilfering as much as possible.

I wondered what sort of self-inflicted torture my boy had done to himself, why he wanted to get out of school for a few days, and how much of a hard time one of the royal physicians would give me to fib for him.

“I have noted what my beautiful wife and our food-thieving tyrants want for supper tomorrow, and I’ll try to figure out why Eddie wants to skip out on school. If I can’t figure it out, I might have to conference with his other dads.”

“Or you could ask one of his moms and cut to the chase rather than play games. He’s probably tired. The schools just finished their testing, and the education department ignored our recommendation they give the kids a break. He probably just needs a few days to be a kid. So, go play your games and come home and feed us yams and chicken tomorrow.”

I grinned. When my wife played games, she created trouble for me, and fool that I was, I loved it. If she didn’t remember I meant to play games with her for a few days to get a vacation I direly needed, she’d remember right around supper time tomorrow. “All right. I’ll go pick him up and see if I can figure out what’s going on without having to bring the brains of the operation into it.”

“Stubborn,” Jessica complained, although her tone remained amused. “If you want to cuddle with your bulls, don’t do it in the damned bad pasture.”

“I’m glad you have acknowledged that I’m going to be cuddling with my bulls.”

“You’re something else. Check in with me and let me know if there’s anything actually the matter with Eddie. If there is, I’ll go get the kids herded and we’ll go spend a few days at the ranch. It’s our turn.”

It was? As I knew better than to argue with my pregnant wife, I replied, “I’ll text you if everything is fine, and I’ll call if it’s something more important.”

Years of marriage had taught me a lot, and keeping my wife in the loop helped her to relax when I wasn’t in her sight.

“Love you,” she said before hanging up on me as she still enjoyed getting in the last word.

Laughing, I hung up, picked up my cell, and texted her that I loved her, too. With that done, I smirked at Randy. “Well?”

“You want to drive?”

“Actually, I do.” I grabbed my cell, my wallet, did a pocket check, and nodded. Everything I needed I could either get at the ranch from my spare clothes or buy. I hesitated over my laptop, but after a moment of thought, I left it.

Vacations went a lot better without pesky computers.

“Should I be worried?” Randy asked.

“Only if you get in my way.” I held out my hands until he handed me the keys to his SUV. “Got everything you need? Jessica says we’re taking Geoff with us.”

“When do I not?”

“When you don’t know if we’re staying the night at the ranch or not.”

“I have spare clothing at the rescue ranch as does Geoff. I’m sure we’ll be fine, but I’ll text the wife you’re making off with me for the night.”

“Tell her I still love her best so she won’t kill me but that I’ll never love anyone as much as I do Jessica. That might get me out of this alive.”

As intended, Randy laughed.

Geoff did not appreciate me clotheslining him with my arm, catching him in a headlock, and dragging him to Randy’s SUV. I earned approval from the head of my detail, who coached me along the way to make sure my captive didn’t escape my clutches.

Rather than get angry or question my unusual behavior, Geoff sighed, climbed into the vehicle, and sat where ordered.

“My wife made me do it,” I informed him.

“And should I inquire with Her Majesty?” Geoff countered.

“She will tell you that she told me to take you.”

Randy grinned and sat in the back with Geoff. “Pat’s in a mood today.”

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