Page 87 of The Prince of New York

I suspected the woman feasted on my suffering, which involved busting ass to beat my previous time. Zach had come out, joined the woman of my dreams on a lawn chair, and drank non-alcoholic wine while enjoying the show. By the time I made it to the end, successfully beating my best time, I wanted nothing more than to fall to the ground and take a nap. Instead, I trudged over to the pair, dropped to the ground, and groaned. “Just zap me, Zach. Have mercy and zap me.”

The RPS agent laughed. “I’m not zapping you, Ian. Sorry. Good job on the course, though. After reading over your medical file, I was concerned you’d have a long way to go to get healthy, but you’re doing just fine. We need to work on your upper body strength, but that’s something we can focus on after we’re back from California. I like my new commute. It’s ten minutes on a bad day. My wife absolutely loves you because of the commuteandthe suite at the palace if things get busy. She works remotely now, and she likes when she knows I’m close.”

“Yet I’m taking you to California tomorrow.”

“She’s coming along for the ride, so she’s happy. Peter’s family is coming as well, and members of California’s RPS will be taking our wives and kids to the beach while we’re working. It’s not work if they’re escorting guests, and they get paid to do it.”

“If we don’t do that in New York, we need to.”

“We have similar rules, we just didn’t use them when your parents were the monarchs. I’ll make sure to remind Alfred that we have the rules. It’s buried at the back of the manual under optional rules.” Zach leaned over, grabbed a plastic water bottle, and offered it to me. “Your parrot passed out so hard that one of the RPS agents took her to your suite and she didn’t budge. Your leopards followed the parrot, and there was feline whining, so they were put to bed in your suite as well. The animal empath will be here within the next two hours, but you’re going to be passed out by the time he gets here. Has your packing preferences changed?”

“Madelyn has selected the suits slated for death. We’re saving the most expensive for last.”

He nodded. “I’ll put together some other clothes for you. You’re going to be a zombie in the morning.”

I could trust Zach to remember my behaviors and how long I could go before I became a living zombie. Before my parents had left, exhausting myself to an extreme degree had been one of my coping mechanisms.

Times had changed, and I was exhausted for new and better reasons. “I’d claim I would try to do better, but until the girls are settled, that’s just not an option.”

“You’ll be fine. Tomorrow, you have the luxury of being a zombie. We can handle making certain your daughters know you’re tired and teach them how to cope when you need a chance to rest. With luck, all three of you will sleep on the plane, make it to California, and then go back to sleep. Ah, Eddie also arrived twenty minutes ago. Frankly spoken, he’s hyper, and I’m going to need you to calm him down.”

Before Zach had gone to North Dakota, I’d had limited exposure to Eddie, but we’d all liked him and his relentless drive to make Pat proud of him. “I’ll get him to babysit me in the damned shower, because I’m quivering from head to toe. He can keep me from getting another concussion or drowning.”

Zach sighed, shook his head, and lifted his hand to his ear. “His Royal Highness has tired himself to the point he needs a babysitter. Eddie, you get to keep him from doing something stupid and get him to bed. You also get the night shift to make certain the animals are all settled and everybody stays safe. Remember: the leopards are new, we don’t know their habits yet, and they need to be treated with caution. Expect a boring shift. If Ian is capable of making a fuss, I’ll be shocked. At most, you might end up having to clean up a mess if nobody has litter trained the leopards yet. I’m sure you can handle it.”

Eddie might forgive me one day. “Are the leopards litter trained?”

“They are, and there’s an appropriate box in your suite for them. Alas, the robotic litter boxes we’ll be using for your house cats are insufficiently sized for your leopards. With luck, we’ll be able to teach them to use the toilet like we’ve done with the tigers. But if not, we’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it. We’re not.”

TWENTY-FIVE

In bad news for the terrorists, I had Terry and Eddie.

While I had taken my parents’warning about the new cell of terrorists seriously, I hadn’t thought they were brave or foolish enough to launch an assault on the Californian royal airstriportarget His Royal Majesty of Montana’s precious horse cargo plane.

In good news for everyone, but especially for the terrorists, Daphne had already departed the strip with His Royal Majesty of Maine, Dr. Stanton, Thunder, Madelyn, the girls, my parrot, my leopards, and Zach and his family in an epic and heavily guarded entourage of rare animals and special people. Peter and his family, much to my relief, would come to California in a few days.

In bad news for me, I’d somehow thought it would be a good idea to stick around the strip with a bunch of edgy RPS agents to better learn what the RPS did and get used to having a viable detail.

In bad news for the terrorists, I had Terry and Eddie, and we were stuck near the open cargo bay door with the refueling gear, which was still parked nearby.

Had Daphne been caught up in the mess, His Royal Majesty of Montana would have been on the move within minutes to safeguard his heir and bring down living hell on those in his way. It was bad enough his sister’s precious husband was in the line of literal fire.

In exceptionally bad news for me, I’d become rather close acquaintances with a ricocheted bullet. Assuming I didn’t catch another bullet elsewhere, the injury to my leg would heal, and I would away with a scar—and the fact I could walk, albeit painfully, helped me focus on what was important in life: murdering asshole terrorists trashing my day.

“You suck, Terry,” I informed the RPS agent in a whisper. “The next time you mention anything about bullets and my leg ever meeting, you’re going to your room to think about what you’ve done.”

The man chuckled, and he handed over Pink Lady. “Put her in your breast pocket for this. I might need to roll around, and I haven’t taught her to go hide somewhere safe yet until called.”

Of the three of us, I was the one most wanted alive, which meant his squirrel would be safest with me.

If anyone even thought about touching Terry’s squirrel, I would eradicate them with extreme prejudice.

I gave the animal a kiss on her nose before stashing her in my jacket. “You’re wanted as a breeder,” I reminded him.

“Olivia has taken to reminding me of this daily, and she’s prouder than any peacock about it. She has herself abreeder, Ian. I thought this was evident by the fact we are having twins, and she didn’t even wait one cycle before deciding I was not being stalled.”

Eddie snickered. “I’m trying to figure out why I’m on the list. Do you think I can use it as part of a campaign to leave the pool of eligible bachelors? I am the only RPS agent in my group that isn’t hitched and whipped or at least dating.”

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