Page 11 of Scarred Heart

With a grunt, she announced, “Jason Gonzalez is such a dick.”

“Language,” I warned, fighting back a grin.It was still a challenge, hiding my amusement whenever she came out with something like that—exactly the sort of thing I would’ve said if I were dealing with a dick like Jason.

“Sorry.Jerk,” she amended with another grunt.“He wouldn’t stop making noises during my presentation in World History.He kept trying to distract me.I lost my place right in the middle of Archduke Ferdinand’s assassination.”

“Ouch,” I murmured, gently brushing out a few tangles.

“But I got through it.”The pride in her voice stirred pride in my chest.My fierce little girl.

“I know you did because that’s who you are.You don’t let anybody with a big mouth push you around.”We had that in common.I had faced a bigmouth bully today.

“Aunt Ree was here for dinner but left before helping Grandmom with the dishes.She said she had something to do tonight.”

“I’m glad she did, though I’m sorry I missed her.I’ll have to give her a call.”Rhiannon had only moved out for good a few years ago, around the time I leased my apartment.She said Hannah didn’t need her anymore.I’d disagreed, but at the same time, she deserved a life of her own.I hated to think of her using my daughter as a reason for holding herself back.

“I think she works too much,” my wise, all-seeing daughter decided.“Even more than you.”I couldn’t disagree, though Rhiannon certainly made enough money to compensate for the time she spent as part of a team of programmers.

“You don’t miss anything, do you?”I asked, peppering kisses along her ear and cheek.

“I’m not some dumb kid,“ she reminded me.“I notice things.So what did you do tonight before you came over?”

She would have to go and ask me that, wouldn’t she?Did she notice the way the question froze me for a second as I got hold of myself?

I was having a drink with your father.Nope.That would never happen.She would never know him, and not only because it would be too much of a shock after all these years growing up without a dad.It had taken ages to get to the point where she stopped asking about him.Eventually, she had gotten used to the idea of her grandfather being the closest thing to a dad she would have—unless I got married, which wasn’t looking likely.

I was fine the way I was and didn’t need anything else.I had my baby.I had parents who had taken so much on their shoulders to make sure I could make the best of what extended family members used to callThe Tragedy—the tragedy of my accident and giving up on my dreams.

“Catching up with an old friend,” I told her, which was as close to the truth as I dared to venture.Bringing him into our lives would mean leaving her open to the world he’d grown up in and still inhabited.A world where other people were nothing more than amusements, something to enjoy, use up, and discard when the good times were over, and where he could destroy my dreams and walk away from his responsibilities, including the little girl whose hair I finished brushing out.He hadn’t asked about her or whether there was a child in the world with an impish smile so much like his.No doubt, he assumed I ended the pregnancy after the accident, and he deserted me.Let him call me selfish, but I didn’t want him anywhere near her.

“Want me to braid your hair?”I asked.She deserved for me to be present with her, in the moment, not wallowing in past bitterness.

“Sure.It will be wavy in the morning.”She handed me a hair tie from a little bowl on her dresser, and I got to work.What a relief she was still young enough that it was easy to distract her.

“Do you want to come back here tomorrow after school, or do you want me to send an Uber to school that will take you to the apartment?”One day, she would live with me full time.I could hardly wait until the day came.To feel like a real family, just the two of us.For now, it made more sense for her to stay here during the week to maintain a sense of continuity without requiring a long ride to and from school, not to mention my schedule, which was unpredictable, to say the least.

I couldn’t guarantee I would be home for her when she needed me.

It meant having a deadline of sorts.By the time she left the eighth grade and was ready to start high school, I needed to have my shit together.I needed a stronger client list and a staff to handle things so I could take a step back and make myself available to my daughter.

For now, we were together on the weekends, back at my apartment, where I had set up a bedroom for her, which resembled the one here for the sake of familiarity.If anybody might replicate it, it was me since I had stared at the delicately flowered wallpaper and ruffled white curtains for years.One day, she would decorate it on her own when it was her full-time home.

“How late are you staying?”She let out a soft yawn that she tried like hell to cover up.My heart swelled, knowing she was only trying to cover up her sleepiness in hopes of spending more time together.

“I was thinking about staying the night, if that would be okay with you.If you wouldn’t mind sharing the bed.”

Her head snapped around, eyes sparkling.“Really?What about work tomorrow?”

“I don’t have any meetings until ten o’clock, so that gives me plenty of time to go to the apartment and get dressed and everything.What do you think?Can we have a little sleepover tonight?”

“Sure.”She hopped off the bed, rushing around to pull things from the dresser.“There’s lots of stuff in here for you to wear.But oh, I didn’t clean up my stuff downstairs yet.”

“Why don’t you go down and do that, then say good night to Grandmom and Grandpa while I get changed?”The question was barely out of my mouth, and she was scampering from the room.On the way down the stairs, she announced to Mom that I was spending the night.

Mom had asked why I came here tonight instead of going home like I normally would have.This was why.I had to be with my baby after seeing him.I had to take what was mine and cling to it, hold it close, and remind myself what really mattered.Spencer had taken so much away from me, but he had given me Hannah.When I was too tired to keep going, every time I wanted to give up and close the books and say to hell with it, all it ever took was the thought of my little girl.

I was lucky.There were no illusions, now or back then.As I got undressed and pulled on a soft, much-loved T-shirt and shorts, I offered a silent prayer of thanks to the universe for giving me parents who hadn’t saidI told you so, hadn’t chastised me, or worse, for getting pregnant.Always, they wanted to know what they could do to help.What would make my life easier.It had meant moving home, living here during school, with the folks and Rhiannon taking care of Hannah when I couldn’t.

I had it better than so many others could dream of, and I would not let Spencer take that away from me.I wouldn’t let him take Hannah and turn her into the sort of spoiled, self-centered person he was.The fucker had never apologized, never took responsibility for crashing that car.

---