Page 30 of Scarred Heart

“Hannah.”

It was happening.She was placing her hand in his and shaking it, and they were smiling at each other.While it was nothing I had ever imagined, it healed something in me I didn’t know was broken.

He played it off well, releasing her hand without holding on too long.“It is nice to meet you, Hannah.What’s your favorite subject at school?”

His question took me by surprise, but she took it in stride.“English.I like the books we have to read.”

“What are you reading now?”

“Hannah is in an advanced program,” I explained, grinning with pride at my kid.“She’s only ten, but she’s reading at an eighth-grade level.”

“Mom…” She groaned, rolling her eyes the way I used to when Mom and Dad praised me out of nowhere.I used to hate it, and now I was doing it to her.“We’re readingThe Outsiders,” she explained.

“Good book.I read that when I was in school.I would like to know what you think about it.”All of a sudden, he remembered I was standing next to him, glancing my way.“We could talk about it over dinner.What do you think?I’m in the mood for a burger.”He eyed Hannah because, of course, he didn’t know what kind of food she liked.

“Yeah, Mom!Can we?”Her eyes danced, her head bobbing in excitement.

We’d need to have a talk about putting me on the spot.This prick.He knew damn well I wouldn’t be able to say no unless I wanted to look like the mean mom with a stick up her ass.

“Can I buy you a burger?”he asked, and I realized for the first time how his eyes gleamed the way hers did when he knew he was about to get his way.

“I’m outnumbered.”I sighed, throwing my hands into the air.“You can follow us to the restaurant.”

* * *

“I like writing stories.”Hannah played with her straw, stirring around what was left of her milkshake.“Maybe that’s what I’m going to do when I grow up.”

“What kind of stories do you like to write?”Spencer sounded very solemn, but then he had throughout the meal.Not in a negative way, not like he was bored.Rather like he took her very seriously, the way a lot of adults didn’t take children—he wasn’t patronizing her.There were no sly winks my way.

Was it safe to believe he meant it?

And what would happen if he decided to announce who he was?What if he tried to take her from me?

I took a long sip of my milkshake in thehope of cooling myself down.I couldn’t think that way.It would mean ruining what was turning out to be a nice night.I was witnessing my daughter get acquainted with her father, and all I did was worry.

Then again, it would’ve been naïve of me not to at least question his motives just a little.He kept calling her his, like she was a possession.I wouldn’t let him get close to her just for the sake of ownership.She deserved better than that.

“Fantasy, mostly,” she explained.“I’m working on one right now.I love making up places and creatures and characters.”

“You know what I think?That is definitely what you should do when you grow up.It’s something you like to do, and you sound excited when you talk about it.”He turned to me.“What do you think?”

“Definitely,” I agreed.At least we could agree on that much, even if I still didn’t love his methods.I couldn’t fault him for it when he and Hannah were getting along so well, and he seemed so genuinely interested in her.

Hannah turned her attention to me.“Like you wanted to be an actress?”

Out of the mouths of babes.It was an innocent question, and I knew it came from years spent around my old photos, not to mention a pair of grandparents who loved to tell their favorite stories.Just because I didn’t make it a point to sit around and talk about the past didn’t mean nobody else did.

I was aware of Spencer watching me as I figured out how to respond.“I did want to be an actress,” I began, speaking slowly, choosing my words carefully.No amount of chocolate milkshake would make this any easier.“But things changed.That’s how life goes sometimes.And as it turns out, I really like what I do now.It was always going to be either acting or law.I tried one first, then I went back to school and got my degree.I think it was the right thing to do.”

She didn’t see my scars the way other people did.She had never known me without them.They were part of me, so it never would’ve occurred to her that they were the reason I had to give up on that dream.Well, she was part of that reason, too, realizing I needed something solid in my life.I had responsibilities, and hush money didn’t fall from the sky every day.I had turned down a scholarship, but tuition had come my way after all.

She was too young to understand all of that, but I planned on explaining it one day.And when I did, it wouldn’t be in a restaurant full of people.

That was the thing.Her question wasn’t as deep as I took it.She accepted my explanation and moved on.“Can I get dessert?”

Now, this, I could handle.“Excuse me, but what’s that in your glass?Something to do with ice cream, right?”

Only a ten-year-old would look so stricken over something so trivial.“No fair!I didn’t know it was either a milkshake or dessert.I would’ve picked dessert.”

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