Page 45 of Scarred Heart

“Now, wait a second.”She wasn’t wrong, but it would be a mistake not to set her straight for both our sakes.“I’m not actually dating Spencer.It’s complicated.Yes, we do like each other, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to, you know…” Oh, this was pathetic.I should have practiced a speech in advance.

“It doesn’t mean you’re going to get married or anything?”she concluded.

“Exactly.”She frowned, and I was sorry I couldn’t give her the answer she wanted.The answerIwanted.“But one thing I’m sure about is how crazy he is about you.He wants to spoil you rotten.He thinks you’re amazing, just like I do.You’re a lucky little girl to have so many people who adore you.”

“I know lots of kids whose parents aren’t married,” she reasoned, but I heard the disappointment in her voice.My chest went tight at the sound of it.Well, life wasn’t always cut and dry.There were complications.She was going to learn that sooner or later, right?I certainly had.Not that it made me feel better for her.

“We’ll make it work,” I promised.“But just between you and me, let’s pretend we didn’t have this talk.Spencer might want to tell you himself, in his own way.”

“Don’t worry.”A playful grin tipped the corners of her mouth.“I’ll act like I don’t know.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.I love you.”I gathered her in my arms and held her close, closing my eyes and breathing her in.Nobody was going to hurt her.I had to believe that, or else I would never be able to let go.

But I did with another promise to call her before bed.I had a ton of work to catch up on after spending the weekend pretty much offline.It was disappointing the circumstances were what they were because otherwise, I might have looked back on the weekend as a mini vacation.I didn’t know many vacations that involved essentially being locked in a hotel suite, having meals delivered, and having clothes and toiletries brought up.

To Hannah, it had been a huge adventure, a splurge.If only she could remain that innocent.

* * *

“Too bad it’s late spring.”

Noelle’s random comment made me look up from my MacBook in surprise.“What was that?”I asked with a laugh.

She touched a finger to the lush bouquet of red roses on my desk and turned slightly, motioning toward the pink and white bouquets on my credenza.Three in total, delivered every morning this week.“I was thinking we could have entered your office in the Tournament of Roses Parade, that was back in January.”

“You should be a comedian, you know that?”I struggled to hide my grin.

“So, who is this guy with all the extra cash to send you two dozen roses a day?”

Okay, so maybe he was going a little over the top, but I couldn’t pretend I disapproved.I had gone a decade without him, without any steady man in my life.There was a lot of spoiling to be made up for.“He’s an old friend,” I told her, clocking her skeptical expression and ignoring it.

“An old friend who’s been texting you all day, every day?Come on,” she continued with a laugh when I sputtered, trying to come up with an excuse.“I see the look on your face when you get a text from him.”

“Exactly what kind of look is that?”I asked, tipping my chair back and arching an eyebrow.

She should have been an actress.All at once, her cheeks went pink while she sank her teeth into her bottom lip, barely biting back a smile.Her eyes twinkled, and she let out a tiny giggle.

“I don’t giggle like that,” I deadpanned.

“But you do make that face,” she insisted, grinning.“This isn’t just an old friend.An old friend doesn’t spend hundreds of bucks like it’s nothing.”

As if on cue, my phone buzzed, sitting face down on the desk.It was like something out of an old Western movie showdown.I stared at her.She stared at me.Would I pick up the phone, or would I ignore it?Would I react exactly the way she described?

“Check it already,” she finally groaned out.“I know you’re dying to.”

“It can wait,” I decided.Yes, I wanted to answer the damn thing, but I couldn’t forget all of my responsibilities in favor of fawning over my crush.I wasn’t in high school anymore.

We finished going over my schedule for the following day, and she sauntered out of my office.“Now you can check your phone in peace,“ she teased, disappearing.Her soft laughter faded to silence as I turned the phone over to read the latest message.

Spencer:Thinking about flying down tonight.Do you know anybody who might be in the mood for dinner?Around 8:00 or so?

Did I?The way my heart jumped into my throat, there was no question about it.I was wondering if we would see each other during the week or if we’d have to wait until the weekend, but I didn’t want to ask.My pride wouldn’t let me, and it felt like I would be needy to ask for more of him than he was ready to give.

This would have been complicated enough without Hannah being involved, but I had to think of her first and foremost.I couldn’t bring anyone into her life unless I was sure they’d be there permanently.It was one thing for her to know Spencer was her father, but another for us to play house like there was a future for us.It wouldn’t only be my heart that ended up breaking.

We’ll talk about it tonight.Yes, that felt right.It was time to start thinking about the next steps after Damian was no longer a problem.Because as long as I was being honest with myself, I wanted more of him than the occasional weeknight fling or a weekend with Hannah.I wanted him just as much as I ever had, if not more.

Back in the day, I had wanted the Spencer I used to know.Now, I also wanted the rest of him.The man he had become.I only needed to be sure he wanted me.Or else I was setting myself up for another broken heart.

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