I exhale and rub the back of my neck. "Er, well…" I start.
But when I look back at Giulietta, her face is so full of hope. So damn eager for my approval.
Emerald looks at me. "She spent all afternoon dressing them up," she says. "It was…a battle of wills."
I snort. "And the dogs lost?"
"Clearly," Emerald clips.
Giulietta rushes up to Killer, throwing her little arms around his huge, fluffy neck. "The doggies look beautiful," she insists, pressing her face into his fur. "Just like pretty princesses."
My chest tightens in a way I’m not sure I know how to handle. I wasn’t expecting to grow so attached to this little girl. Wasn’t expecting to get used to the sound of her giggling in my house, the way she clings to me when I read her a bedtime story, and the way she looks up at me like I’m a fucking superhero.I wasn’t expecting to get this attached to any of them.
I shake my head, finally allowing the chuckle that’s been building to escape. "Yeah, kid. They look…good."
Giulietta beams at me, and it’s a beautiful smile just like when her eldest sister smiles. Because whenever Emerald smiles at me, it’s like the sun coming out from behind a fucking raincloud and sprinkling beaming rays across the whole damn sky.
But I’m still not ready to admit yet just how much this little girl, her siblings, and Emerald have wormed their way into my heart...
* * *
Emerald’s cry of pleasure fills the room, and a shiver skitters down my spine as something primal and dark rolls through me. A possessive and hungry thing, knowing that I’m the one who wakes up to her like this. Who makes her fall apart again and again.
“When do you have to leave?” I rumble, brushing away the inky strand of hair clinging to her forehead.
“Like ten minutes ago,” she grins widely as she comes back down from the high.
My eyes move to the alarm clock on the end table, and I can’t help but groan. I want to keep her here with me all day, but I roll from over her and watch as she moves toward the bathroom.
As soon as she’s showered and dressed, she runs out the door to take her mom to her medical appointment. She’s still trying to convince her to go into rehab, and I know it’s going to take up most of today.
Between her leaving and me cooking and setting a stack of pancakes on the breakfast table, Emerald texts and calls to remind me at least seven times that Jaspar and Giulietta don’t have school today. As if I could forget that.
I watch the kids devour the pancakes. “Any ideas on what you two want to do today?”
“Play!” Jaspar yells. “But not with you.” Jaspar says pointedly, and I bite back a laugh. Things with him are still colder than a blizzard at times. Today’s my chance to finally finish my personal assignment: Mission Win Jaspar Over. How difficult can it be? I mean, I deal with dangerous and difficult people every day, so how hard can it be to win over a freaking six-year-old?
“Okay, so play but without me. Anything else? The zoo?”
“The zoo smells,” Jaspar huffs.
“It’s got animals,” I sigh. “What do you expect?”
Giulietta wrinkles her small nose. “We expect all animals to smell like roses. Just like my teddy bears.”
I feel like pointing out that her stuffed toys smell like flowers because she keeps drenching them with Em’s perfume when she thinks no one’s watching, but I decide to keep that thought to myself, not wanting to ruin her rose-tinted view of the world.
Later that day, I try again. “Ever played chess?” I ask Jaspar, after Giulietta announces she’s going to play with her bears.
“No.”
“With a smart brain like yours, you’d be a natural at it. Wanna learn?”
He looks at me, head tilted. Something in his eyes flickers before they narrow just slightly. “Okay.”
As I pull out a chess set, I watch Giulietta get down to the serious business of having a tea party, this time with apple juice instead of Kool-Aid. She affectionately talks to the family of bears, and each time I look at them, my chest gets tighter.
Family.