Page 110 of Mafia and Gold Digger

“I’ll take it, kiddo.”

He turns back to the board to move through a few of the simpler moves I explained earlier. The kid’s a natural, but I’m not surprised. Emerald has a sharp mind, and it only makes sense that’s Jaspar would have the same too.

A while later, we hear Emerald’s voice call out. “Hello?”

“In the den!” I reply. My brow puckers. Is it really that late already? I lean a little back in the chair, trying to get a look at the clock on the console table.

“Oh, I thought you guys were out...” Looking at the scene, around her, Emerald giggles, and my body tightens at the sound. It’s a straight shot of sunshine and ecstasy combined, and I wish I could bottle it up and keep it forever. She moves into the den, and I feel her body against my back as she looks down at Jaspar and me, a big smile on her face. “What are you doing?”

“Mr. Saint is teaching me to play.”

“Oh, he is, is he?”

Jaspar nods. “He’s a good teacher.”

“Yeah? He’s alright, I guess.”

“High compliments all around,” I say dryly, snagging Emerald’s wrist to keep her beside me. “What do you think, Jaspar, should Emerald play me?”

He nods his head eagerly.

She rolls her eyes before sitting across from me. Giulietta wanders over as well, joining us. She climbs into Emerald’s lap and beams across at me.

With a wink, I reset the board and motion for Emerald to start.

Emerald moves her pawn forward and holds my gaze. That smirk on her face tells me she’s not going to go easy on me—and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I follow her eyes as they move to Jaspar in my lap, and as I watch her smile, something warm slides through me.

And emotions which I don’t want to acknowledge I know how to even feel—and don’t want to admit I actually long for—sink into me.

Acceptance.

And feeling like I belong.

* * *

I start thinking about what I’ve done to get Emerald to move in with me. How I told her that she had to be my fake fiancée. There’s something wrong with me. I’m broken and mangled. I’ve been lying for so long to people that telling the truth feels…wrong. It makes me an asshole, I know, the way I’m lying to Emerald about this whole damn thing. About how I’m lying by not telling her how I feel about her.

But this is the only way to keep her safe—at least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

And there’s no way she would stay with someone like me. Someone who’s cold and emotionally cut off. Emerald needs a real connection, and she needs affection and love. And she certainly can’t get it from me.

How hard is it to just tell her that this isn’t fake…? That she’s mine. That no one is going to ever touch her.

I know I need to tell her. But telling her means that this is real. That she can walk out on me. Because who’d want someone as damaged as me?

I try to push those thoughts away. But Christian’s original objections to me being with Emerald scream in my head. He wasn’t wrong then, and he’s not wrong now. But the moment her name fell from my lips in his office that time, there was no going back.

Am I setting myself to crash and burn?

A hundred percent.

But I’ll take whatever I can get.

Because whether I admit it to her or anyone else, Emerald has me. Hook, line, and sinker...

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR