“But I really want to go now…please, please, please?” I plead, my eyes wide and hopeful.
Mommy and Daddy exchange a look. Finally, Mommy smiles and says, “Alright, it is your birthday after all.”
“Yay!” I shout, jumping up and down with excitement.
I love the park—it has swings and slides and the big grassy field where I can run as fast as I like. The best bit is the hill that the slide’s on. Daddy and me lie sideways on the hill and then let ourselves roll down it. It always makes me giggle so much. Daddy taught me this as he’s really good at making up fun games.
Mommy makes a small picnic to take with us—peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some of the cookies she baked this morning.
While she packs the basket, I imagine how I’ll soon be running across the grass, kicking my red ball as hard as I can, and watching it soar through the sky.
I hold Mommy’s hand as we walk out to the driveway, Daddy on the other side of me as he reaches down and ruffles my hair. The sun is shining bright, and I’m bouncing up and down with every step.
I climb up onto the backseat of the car, barely able to contain myself as we buckle up—my birthday is turning out just perfect. Mommy’s baked my favorite chocolate cake and iced it with double chocolate frosting, and then this afternoon, I’m going to have the most awesome party and get to open my presents. Today is going to be the best day ever.
I reach into my backpack to make sure my ball is there. My heart skips a beat. “Mommy, I forgot my ball!” I wail.
“It’s okay, poppet,” she says. “You can run back inside to get it.”
I scramble out of the car as Daddy presses the button that opens the garage door. As I pass Mommy’s window, I wave bye. “Bye, Mommy! Bye Daddy!”
Mommy giggles as she gives me an affectionate smile full of love. “You don’t need to say bye to us, honey—you’ll only be gone for a minute.”
Skipping through the garage, I go through the door that connects to the house. I can’t find my ball in my toy box, but then I remember I was playing with it in the den yesterday because it was raining outside.
Running to the room at the front of the house, I see it behind the couch. Scooping it up, I go to the window and hold it up proudly so that Daddy and Mommy can see that I’ve found it.
Daddy gives me a thumbs up, and Mommy gives me one of her beautiful beaming smiles.
A split second later, before I can move from the window, a car comes screeching around the corner and gunfire erupts.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The windows of Daddy’s car shatter.
Mommy and Daddy hurl back against their seats.
Panic erupts in me.
Dropping the ball, my little legs pump as fast as they can as they propel me back outside.
As I reach the driveway, all I can see is shattered glass and Mommy and Daddy lying deadly still in the car with their eyes wide open and blood everywhere.
My body automatically throws itself toward the car.
But a neighbor arrives and holds me back. I’m screaming and crying, trying to get back to Mommy and Daddy.
But I never see them alive ever again.
It’s my fault that my parents were in the driveway. If I hadn’t asked to go to the park, they wouldn’t have been in the driveway when the bad guy came—instead, they would have been safe in the kitchen at the back of house.
It’s all my fault…
And before I know it, the days have passed in a blur, and then I have to say goodbye to them at the cemetery. And it’s a goodbye that has to last forever.
I’m standing under the leaden skies which are threatening rain. My suit feels stiff and foreign around my five-year-old body.
In one hand is clutched a red rose, and I’m trying hard not to stab myself with its evil thorns, while my other hand grips the arm of my favorite honey-colored teddy bear.