Page 125 of Mafia and Gold Digger

There are two exits, and about four yards between the warehouses. Not enough cover.

I roll the sleeves of my dress shirt up before I open the SUV door, hands shoved into my pockets as I walk up to the building.

This is the distraction I need. This is just the thing to get me back to the man I need to be to survive this world.

Thirty minutes later, I’m hardly paying attention as the man pleads beneath the barrel of my gun. The warehouse is filled with bodies now. Not all dead but certainly worse for wear.

I keep thinking about how Emerald still loves him. He’s dead, and she still loves him.

She said she loved me, but I know she won’t ever love me like that.

How can she? She built a relationship with Ronnie. They had an easy back and forth. But me? Emerald only knows what I want her to know about me. It’s the briefest hint of my life. And that’s it. That’s got to be enough.

But it’s not.

How can it be? She needs someone who isn’t cold, isn’t emotionless, isn’t missing a heart.

Emerald clearly needs more than what I can give her. Wants more than I can offer her.

But I’m too far gone, and there’s nothing in this world that’s going to take her away from me now.

Fuck emotions.

Fuck that special connection she had with Ronnie.

She knew the man I was when she agreed to marry me.

She knew what I offered.

I fire off a round above us in warning. “Answer the fucking question. I’m running out of patience, and that’s a pretty bad thing for you right now.” I’m not in the fucking mood for this. I’m not in the mood to listen to a grown man blubber about God and forgiveness. They’re not even high up in their organization. They’re lowly foot soldiers, and no one will miss them if they end up is some shallow grave. “Tell me who paid you twice the normal fucking fee. And where they got the money?”

“I-I…” He stutters as I shove him hard with my boot pressed to his chest. “I don’t know. We never saw his face!”

“Well, find out!”

The man scrambles up, and I let him. So much for a nice easy distraction, for trying to cool off before I get back to the house to watch Emerald wither away, knowing there’s nothing I can do to help her or stop this.

She wears my ring, but her heart isn’t mine.

And it never will be.

“Fuck!” I kick the table with a growl, the money they were counting scattering all over the floor. My chest heaves and puffs, and I know I look like a wild man. I am. Emerald goddamn Fiorelli makes me this. She broke me and ruined me.

Worse yet, I let her. I let her, knowing that what she and I have was never going to go any deeper than what it is now.

The SUV door slams behind me as I rev the engine.

But I can’t go back like this. I can’t face her knowing that I have her in every way that should count. Except the one I want—the one I’m not capable of getting.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-SEVEN

EMERALD

I haven’t left the bedroom. Saint hasn’t come home tonight. Things are weird between us. It’s like Saint can’t comprehend that it’s perfectly normal for a person to grieve the loss of a best friend.

Milena knocked what feels like days ago, telling me that pizza was here, but I ignored her. My eyes are puffy and red. My mouth feels like cotton balls have been shoved into it. My skin is pale and resembles ash. I grip the edge of the sink on the bathroom as I stare at myself in the mirror.

Ronnie is gone.

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