I tried to speak with my mom again this morning, but she was still high from last night and still didn’t care. Jesus Christ, how can a mother not freaking care that her complete creep of a boyfriend was planning on forcing her sixteen-year-old daughter? How can a mother not even goddamn care that her kids had to barricade themselves into a bedroom because that was the only way to stay safe? How can she not care that we were all utterly petrified? How could she hang up her phone like that,just because she wanted to freaking sleep?

So, this morning, I fought back my tears as I took the first apartment I viewed. Anything has to be better than the kids being around a violent, disgusting creep like Enzo. My new landlord is as sketchy as hell, but I’m desperate, and I know that I’m not going to find anything better on my budget. I look around the place again before locking up.

I just have time to drop back to my mom’s place before I start my shift at Casino Venice. I’m quick as I jog up the stairs to our apartment. And no surprise, Mom is sprawled on the couch and out of it.

“I found an apartment.”

She looks at me and nods. “Okay.”

I hate it when she’s checked out like this. She’s not the only one who lost someone the day my dad was killed. She’s not the only one who has to live with what happened. “The kids need somewhere to sleep,” I grit out. “So, I’ll need the furniture from our bedrooms and some sheets and towels. And we’ll need some plates and stuff.”

“Sure.”

“Here’s the address.” I hand her a small piece of paper. Maybe it’s not the best idea given what Enzo is like, but it just feels wrong for her to not even know where the kids are living.

But she merely tosses the paper aside.

And I leave before I break down in tears.

My shift passes in a blur.

Later that day, the reality of everything sinks into me like a dead weight as I sit in the middle of the barren living room, staring blankly at the walls.

There’s a folding dining table, a cramped kitchenette with a microwave and toaster, and a sofa-bed which is where I’ll be sleeping so that the kids can have the only bedroom. The TV has a DVD player sitting beneath it like it’s the year 2000, and apart from those things, there are very few homey items like blankets and pillows. But it will have to do for now.

I fiddle with my bracelet.Click, click, click, click. But even that’s not enough to soothe me like it normally does. All through my shift, I kept going over the numbers. It’s going to be really difficult to keep this place on what I earn, but we need it. My siblings need love. They need a home. Tears burn my eyes as I hug my knees, and they start to trickle down my cheeks. Soon the trickle turns into a flood, and then the flood turns into outright ugly sobbing.

How did my life become such a total mess? My boyfriend dumped me after completely humiliating me and telling me that I’ve let myself go, my mom doesn’t care if we are safe or where we live, and I’m living in a tiny apartment which I know I’m going to struggle to afford.

I swipe my eyes to get rid of the tears because the kids will be here soon.They can’t see me fall apart like this. Just focus on the positive, Em. The kids will be safe now, and I can work the rest of it out later. Don’t let the kids see you stressing out over the money situation. You don’t want to worry them. Pretend that everything’s okay now. Just smile when you see them.

I square my shoulders, eyeing my phone on the counter where I left it as I set up the bedroom. I lift myself up and grab my phone, scrolling to the chess site. There are invitations to a few matches waiting for my acceptance. I chew my lip and accept all of them. They’re all slotted one after another. The payout isn’t great. Ten dollars usually; sometimes, even twenty dollars. But I need the money to buy food for us. Every cent counts…because I’m desperate now.

* * *

Jacquetta has noticed that I’ve been down in the dumps and suggests setting me up with a colleague of a friend. The first question I ask is whether he’s Imperiosi, but she says no. Then she offers to babysit and presses me to go, so I decide to say yes to give me a distraction from my problems. I mean, he can’t be any worse than the guy who dumped me in front of all my friends, right?

The guy, Chase, rings me and suggests taking me to a fancy French restaurant. I pick out a dress and get ready, taking extra time to put on my make up and do my hair. Jacquetta is going to keep an eye on the kids for me and has told me to focus on enjoying myself.

I meet Chase at the restaurant, and once we’re there, conversation flows easily, and I find I’m enjoying myself. He’s handsome, sexy, and charming.

“Do you live by yourself?” he asks as we start our entrée.

I shake my head, picking up my glass to take a sip of the wine he ordered for us. “I look after my three younger siblings, so they live with me.”

His brow creases. “So, you still live with your parents?”

“No. My dad passed away a few years ago. And my mom isn’t able to look after them right now, so that’s why the kids have moved into an apartment with me. They’re great kids.” I flash him a smile. “They’re sixteen, six, and five.”

His face blanches. “You’re asingle mom?”

“Well, technically, I’m their sister.” But I guess the set-up is the same as if I were a single mom.

He tosses his linen napkin onto the table as he shoves back his chair. “No man in their right mind would want to date a woman who’s got three screaming brats at home. I can’t believe that you didn’t bother to mention that.”

Indignation starts to swirl within me. “You never asked. If you had, I would have gladly told you, just like I’m telling you right now. I haven’t been trying to keep it a secret. I didn’t realize it would be such an issue.”

“Of course, it’s a fucking issue,” he snaps. “I’m here to get away from a nagging wife and my own two whining kids!”