Page 109 of Heart of the Sun

“Fuck,” Freddie hissed. “I worked with those dudes guarding the gate in LA. I always thought they were sketchy,” he muttered. The low beam of a flashlight flickered next to us, and we all leaned back, using the fence for cover. After a moment it disappeared as though someone out on the street had shined it through the side yard. We waited for a moment, listening before Freddie met my eyes and then looked at Layne. “A number of us have been planning for something like this. There are many here who’ve been gathering weapons and supplies. Some had them in their homes and risked going back out for them. Other attained them in other ways.”

“You were keeping that from me?” Layne asked.

“We didn’t want to offend the original residents. You weren’t here yet, but they wrung their hands even about arming the guards at the gate. They had a whole meeting about it and everything. And I didn’t want to worry you, I know you don’t like guns. But we might end up having some of the last food in the city. We might be very close to that point now.”

He took a few steps and leaned around the fence quickly, surveilling the area and then walking back to us. “Come on, I’ll explain as we walk.”

We left the cover of the fence and started walking across an area of open lawn,finally moving behind a spread of trees and bushes where we could get lost in shadow.

“It was just a contingency,” Freddie went on. “Me, the original staff, and some of the others who have been here longer than you, thought something like this might happen. Even two armed dudes at the entrance weren’t going to cut it if a group of people worked as a unit to overtake them. We didn’t expect it from within, but we figured there’d come a point where we’d have to defend this community and its resources.”

Leon had essentially said the same thing. Only he’d used that belief to enact his own takeover. Freddie and whomever else he’d been working with here had done it to defend these people.

“Where are the weapons?” Layne asked.

“In the gardens. We need to get to the others before they’re rounded up. Our best chance is to surprise them. Asher, who lives down in the old guardhouse, has been gathering ammo for weeks. We have a planned meeting place near the bottom of the hill.”

“Asher’s incapacitated, but unharmed,” I said, repeating what I’d heard Leon say. “I’ll get down there and help Asher. You and Layne start gathering the people you can. Many are probably already being guarded. Gather your own army.” I gripped my clammy hands together. I was simultaneously relieved that others had formed a small army, had a tentative plan, and the ability to fight fire with fire. But it also sounded extremely dangerous. “This could get really bloody,” I said, my voice shaky.

Freddie looked at Layne quickly and then back to me. “Some things are worth fighting for. We have the upper hand in that we all know the lay of this land and they do not. If we can surprise and incapacitate some of them, then maybe we can convince the others to drop their weapons. They’ve got to be weakened from lack of food. But…yes, it will be a battle. It’s either that, or willingly leave, but that’s certain death because there’s nowhere else to go.”

Only that wasn’t true for me.

My eyes met Layne’s in the dim light of the lantern hanging nearby. “Emily…” She put her hand on my arm. “I understand if this isn’t your fight.”

An ache pierced my chest. She knew. She knew how much despair I felt at the absence of Tuck and my parents. This wasn’t my fight. There was only one place I would willingly die to protect. But it alsowasmy fight because these people had taken me in and been kind to me and they were now facing betrayal and starvation. How could I live with myself if I didn’t participate in helping them in some way? How could I ever look Tuck in the eyes again if I didn’t exhibit at least some of the honor so important to him?

I’d learned so many lessons about valor and what it truly meant to have integrity in the last few weeks. I had learned who I wanted to be and the values I would put ahead of anything, even death.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I can’t stay.” My purpose wasn’t here. And though I prayed with all my heart Layne and Freddie and the rest would be victorious tonight, my home was elsewhere.

“I know,” Layne said. “You have somewhere to go.”

I grabbed her hand in mine. “I’ll help Asher. Then you fight,” I said. “Fight hard.”

“You too,” she said. “It won’t be easy for you to make it home.”

“Some things are worth fighting for,” I said. She pulled me to her and we embraced, holding each other tight before letting go.

I gave Freddie a quick hug too and then they turned and cut through the foliage. I ducked low and ran to the next house, climbing the pool fence and running quietly around the pool, then jumping the fence again on the other side. There was a high stone wall surrounding the garden at the back of the next house and I grunted in frustration. If I scaled every wall and fence from here down to the front gate, it’d take hours. If it hadn’t been discovered we were gone by now,it most certainly would be by then.

I hesitated for a moment, and then turned toward the front, but spotted the sweep of a flashlight from that direction where they likely had at least one guard in front of each house. I couldn’t risk being caught by one of them. I needed to get to Asher.

There was only one good option, and it would get me to the bottom of the hill quickly. I turned, running along the stone wall and heading toward the edge of the cliff. Behind the gates and fences was a small portion of trees, bushes, and foliage that was almost completely shrouded in darkness. It would take me just as long to step carefully through that lightless area. Instead, I squeezed through the back bushes that suddenly opened up to the edge of the cliff and before I could think about it, I stepped down onto the narrow ledge.

I’d spotted this trail as I’d stood staring out to sea, pretending that if I squinted far enough, I could catch sight of my home. The thought of it now spurred me on and I pressed my back to the rock, moving forward.

Distant noises reminded me to hurry. The element of surprise was going to be crucial. The fact that Freddie and the others had weapons when Leon had told his men they were unarmed was going to work in their favor too. Ammunition was going to be imperative.

The moon was just bright enough to see where I was stepping, back pressed against the side of the cliff as I moved slowly and carefully along the extremely narrow trail, moving down and then around, the path widening but not by much.

I caught sight of a solar lantern twinkling in the trees, here and there, and could hear the gentle breaking of waves on the other side of the cliff. I breathed in the scents of sea and earth, and despite my racing heart, I noted again how beautiful this place was,and felt a sweep of rage that Leon had betrayed these people for his own evil, selfish purposes.

Wind whipped, chilling me, even despite the adrenaline pumping through my body. Thankfully, winter in Southern California was mild, but not so mild on this particular night that the cropped jeans and thin sweatshirt I’d donned were enough to keep me warm.

The darkness concealed me, but it also made the journey treacherous and several times I lost traction, slipping for a moment, stopping, and regaining balance before continuing on.

As I moved, I pictured what was happening above. Leon and his troops would still be gathering the residents from the houses, two or more guards with guns making sure they didn’t gain the upper hand. Maybe they’d even start separating those Leon considered of value from those he did not. Perhaps they’d begin marching certain people outside by daylight, leaving them to starve in the street, the action of the usurpers made possible by their hunger and fear.I didn’t kill them, they’d tell themselves.I just took their place. It was that or die. There was no more food.

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