Page 51 of Heart of the Sun

“Put me down!” I wiggled wildly, and Tuck let out a grunting noise that sounded far more pained than it should have, considering my useless squirming.

Instead of following my command, his arms only tightened as I scrabbled to get free from his iron grip. “Surrender and I’ll let you go.”

“Never.” I lifted my knee and then kicked backward, mostly missing as my foot slid past his shin into open air. But despite my poor aim, he let me go with a startled laugh and my feet landed on the ground. I faced him and then immediately ducked left. He mimicked my movement, and I let out a tiny shriek as I dipped in the other direction, and he hooked me around the waist as I let out a sound that I feared gave away the fact that I was less than upset by this little game and that my class-star status had been tested and found severely lacking when it came to real-life role-playing.

“Hello? Children? This is really embarrassing. Can you stop?” Charlie’s voice came from a great distance away. But I couldn’t stop. Or maybe I just didn’t want to.

Tuck spun me around with one arm, and I hooked my leg around his thigh, pushing my heel into the back of his knee as he grunted, knocked off-balance so that we both tipped forward. He twisted his body around at the last minute so that his shoulder made first impact with the snowy ground on the side of the road where we’d landed. “Ow,” he grated.

I rolled over, taking both his hands and raising them above his head where I pressed them to the ground. “Say uncle.”

He let out a bark of laughter. “You say uncle.”

“Why should I? I’m the winner here.”

And then as quick as that, I was flipped over so that I was flat on my back and Tuck was over me,bringing my hands above my head and pinning me with seemingly no effort at all. I wiggled and bucked, and Tuck let out that same pained hiss, jaw clenching as he stared down at me. “You were out of control then, and you’re out of control now,” he stated, voice gravelly.

Then?I stilled, setting my hips on the ground and going slack beneath him. He meant when I was a kid. And okay, Ihadthrown things at him then as well. I’d attacked and tormented and done anything to get his attention. He wasn’t wrong about that. Because no one,no one, spun me out of control like Tuck. And I supposed it was still true, because I didn’t seem to be able to stop myself from knowingly pushing his buttons and then enjoying the result.

My indignation drained completely, leaving a strange void. “You’re right,” I said. “I haven’t changed. No wonder you still hate me.”

He let go of my other arm, getting off me and pulling me up with him in a single movement so that our bodies slammed together when we reached our feet. His expression was a mix of things I wasn’t sure I could read. There was some anger there, but also a bit of confusion, and maybe even the shine of what I now recognized as dwindling excitement. Or perhaps that was a description of my own emotions, and I was projecting them onto him because I never had been able to read this maddening man.

“Hate you? I don’t hate you.”

I sighed, stepping away from him and straightening my jacket, all bluster gone. I felt as deflated as if I were a balloon and he’d stuck a pin in me.You’re a sellout. They could have picked up any pretty girl off the street and created Nova. The insult echoed in my head like the whistle of the last of the escaping air. No, he didn’t hate me now and he hadn’t hated me then. He’d been indifferent, and just like the old days, my instinct was to incite a fight—even a fake one—in order to get a reaction. Any reaction.And I did. I always did. But then it was over and if I wanted his attention again, I’d have to find something else to provoke him with. My God, I was pathetic. And my stupidclasshad turned out to be useless after all.

He watched me for a moment longer, seeming to be working out some puzzle, before Charlie’s voice made us both look to the right where he was sitting on a guardrail on the side of the road, eating a stick of beef jerky from his backpack. “Can we go?” He tore off a bite of dried meat, his expression miffed.

I nodded to Charlie and then mumbled something to Tuck that even I couldn’t interpret, and then picked up my backpack where I’d dropped it and walked over to Charlie.

Tuck had moved ahead again, and I waited as Charlie stuck the jerky wrapper back in the front pocket of his backpack and met me in the middle of the road. “That was weird.”

“I know. Uh, sorry.”

“What’s up with you two, anyway?”

“Nothing. He hates me. And I hate him.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” he muttered.

I gave him a look and slowed my walk so the distance grew between us and Tuck. I didn’t want him to overhear what we were saying. “What does that mean?”

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself. Same with him.”

“We were just messing around, Charlie. Not enjoying anything. He pissed me off. He treated me like a child and…well, I admit I acted like one. All that comes from growing up together, you know? It’s old habit to fight like siblings.”

“So that’s how you feel about him? Like a brother?”

“What? No. Or…yes! Yes, like a long-lost brother who disappointed the entire family and…brought shame on our name.”

“Your name?”

“Metaphorically speaking. We don’t have the same last name.”

“Which means he’s not your brother.”

A breath gusted from my mouth. “You get the point.” But when I looked over at Charlie, his expression told me he did not get the point. “Anyway, listen, Charlie.” I took his hand in mine. “This situation is bound to bring up heightened emotions. I think we should all acknowledge that none of us are going to be on our best behavior during this journey, even though we’ll try our best. There’s no rule book for what we’re experiencing, right?”

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