Page 13 of Shenanigans

A note of irritation in her voice, Jana declared, “The graveside services start at five and Mrs. Henry is having a difficult time dealing with Mr. Henry’s death. If I’m late, Mrs. Henry will need the paramedics, and my lawyer will be contacting your Chief.”

“You’re free to go, ma’am,” the officer said.

“Thank you, Officer Babcock.” The hearse began to move again and picked up speed. After a few moments, Jana snapped, “What a dick.”

“No, Detective Callaghan is a dick. That cop was just annoying,” I answered.

Jana sighed. “Too bad Dutch is such an attractive dick.” Her cellphone let loose with a series of crazedHo, Ho, Ho’s. “Hello Marge. Yes, that was Kandi. No, she’s not hurt. No, she wasn’t arrested. Yes, the dogs are okay. What? Chickens? I have no idea. Yes, ma’am, I will tell Kandi. I promise. Okay. What? Italian bread? Sure. Bye. Bye.”

Guess Samson didn’t delete all the television stations’ news feeds. “Mom’s at my house?”

“She is. I keep telling you to change the locks,” Jana answered.

“Wouldn’t do any good. My Dad’s an expert at picking locks.”

“Your father has a lot of unusual talents.”

Jana had no idea of what my dad was capable of and it needed to stay that way. “What did you promise my mother?”

“That I would take you straight home. She’s making spaghetti and wants us to bring the bread.”

“Did she say anything about Edgar being there too? They’ve been joined at the hip lately.”

Jana laughed. “She did say she had a surprise for you.”

“God, kill me now.

“You’ve got to admit Edgar does make the perfect elf.”

I rolled my eyes. “Just because he’s a little person?”

“Well, yeah, and the kids love him.”

“Whoop-de-do. Do you know he actually tried to hump my leg?”

“What? When?” Jana’s cellphone rang again. “Hello? Yes, sir. Really? Okay. Will do. Gotcha. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Who was that?”

“Your dad. His friend at the Phoenix Police Department called to warn him that Dutch, the asshole, thinks you’re involved in the mishap and plans on paying you a visit. Soon. He says not to come home.”

“Crap. We need a plan.”

“I’ve got one,” Jana said.

“I’m all ears.”

“We’re going to attend the Dine With Your Dog charity benefit at Heritage Square. All the Phoenix movers and shakers will be there, and we’ll make sure to get a picture with the mayor,” Jana said gleefully.

“Whoa! You actually got tickets for the hottest event in town?”

“Actually, my dad did. I was going to surprise you with the tickets after you finished your easy rescue.”

I winced. “Color me surprised.”

“The charity event is the perfect place to promote your detective agency and, admit it, you need a night out.”

God, did I. “You are the best friend ever.”

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