Page 36 of Shenanigans

“What?” Was he messing with me? “Why?”

“I’ve decided to keep you.”

“Keep me?” Was that a euphemism for locking me up?

For a brief moment, pure carnal need flared to life in Dutch’s eyes. “You’ve got spunk. Life with you would never be boring and I miss having a woman in my bed.”

“Uh huh.” Was I supposed to be flattered? “You feeling okay? Did you hit your head when you were wrestling with those security guards yesterday? You don’t like me, remember?”

“A man can change his mind, can’t he?” Dutch smiled. A smile so sensual it made my lady parts clench.

A young patrol officer rushed up. “Sir?”

Rats. Talk about poor timing.

“Arrest her,” Dutch ordered, pointing at Natasha.

Natasha squirmed wildly. “Help! He’s raping me.”

God, I hated scheming bitches. I had the pigeons hit her again.

A look of horror crossed the officer’s face as shit rained down. “But sir, she’s covered in bird crap.”

“I don’t give a fuck. Arrest her,” Dutch snapped.

I pulled a pair of latex gloves from my purse and handed them to the officer. “Here ya go. It’s always a good idea to carry some.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He hurriedly gloved up and dragged a screeching Natasha from the bush.

That’s when I noticed we had drawn an audience. The lookie-loos had their cellphones out and were happily filming Natasha’s meltdown.

Natasha yelled, “Let go of me. I’m the victim here. Arrest that fucking bitch. She assaulted me.”

I smiled at the nice officer, twirled my finger around my right ear and mouthed,“looney toons.”

“You are under arrest for disorderly conduct.” The officer slapped the cuff on. “Anything you say can and will be used against you.”

“You idiot,” Natasha squawked and tried to kick the officer. “Detective Callaghan is violatingmyrestraining order. He’s been stalking me for months. He tried to rape me.”

“In plain view? On a busy public street?” I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Not to mention, you’re covered in pigeon poop, yet Detective Callaghan has none on him.”

Dutch pulled out his cellphone and took several pictures of Natasha, then handed his phone to me. “Take my picture.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“Please,” Dutch added.

“My pleasure.” I took several of him, then turned to Natasha, “Say cheese.”

Natasha struggled wildly. “You’re dead. Do you hear me? Dead. I’m going to blow up your fucking house. I will slit your throat and laugh while you bleed out.”

“And that, honey, is called terrorist threats. May I also point out all the security cameras that caught your little act too,” I said.

“Callaghan is a corrupt police officer,” Natasha hollered, trying her best to look like an innocent victim instead of a raging lunatic. “He tried to rape me!”

The crowd hooted and jeered.

One of the lookie-loos yelled, “Who wants tits covered in poop? Not me.”

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