Page 2 of Phixmery

Twenty Years Later

MY BOOTS CRUNCH AGAINST THE snowy forest floor as I sneak my way out of the small village in the Gratandi Mountains—the village that’s been my home for as long as I can remember—Shalo.

Winds blow sharply, cutting through the trees like a knife, and I know it should sting, but the cold only brings me a sense of peace. Winter is my favorite time of year despite the lack of food, and since we live so high in the peaks, it’s winter most of the time. I’ve made do, hunting when I can escape the watchful eye of the guards and storing my kills for myself to eat during the winter months. It’s not like I have anyone else to help me. My Aunt Gretchen passed away years ago due to the mountain sickness; she was never able to adjust to the high altitude. She passed away when I was only eleven years old, leaving me to be raised by the other villagers. Gretchen fought until the very end though. The village healer visited often, but there was nothing to be done. They wouldn’t even let me stay with her when she finally joined the ancestors. I didn’t get to hear her last words.

My tongue clicks against the insides of my teeth. “Nero, are you ready to come back yet?” I ask into the quiet of the mountain woods, sensing he’s nearby. A rustle comes from above and snow falls to the earth in front of me. Feathers as dark as the moonless sky drive out from the canopy and I hold my arm out as a perch, a smile gracing my lips. “There you are. Did you have a good flight?” I inquire softly.

Nero tilts his head to the side and nuzzles my cheek. “Yeah, it was nice to stretch my wings.”He flexes them out as if to prove a point.“Are you ready to practice? Your elements are coming along nicely.”

I huff out a breath in annoyance and it fogs the moment it merges with the cool air. “I would, but we need to get back. We need to pack and be gone before the next full moon. There’s been whispers that the Lord of Allondë has military visiting outlier villages, searching for recruits for the army.”

The last thing I want is to go to this academy. Two of the other fae my age in Shalo want to go. They are how I heard about this recruitment. They want to prove themselves to the village, to make a name for themselves through glory and bloodshed. They boasted about how most of the recruits don’t even make it through the first year, as they train your body and magick beyond what any regular fae can do. It breaks you.

The things I hide would definitely be found out in a place like that. So my only choice is to stay beyond their notice.

My beautiful raven companion ruffles his feathers worriedly. “That still gives us two days to practice…” He blinks and cocks his head to the side. “Unless there’s something you’re not telling me?” He hops up my arm, nipping my ear.

“Hey!” I laugh quietly. “No, it’s just one of those feelings. You know the other villagers couldn’t give a rat’s ass about a null like me.”

A null is a fae born without magic—a nobody. They either work with brownies as servants or become cannon fodder for the front lines of a war that started twenty years ago—the war that destroyed my life and left me to rot up in these mountains. When Gretchen brought us here and we told our story of how I was in her charge, no one questioned it. Things were fine until I turned ten, when my outlandish magick surfaced, forcing me to pretend to be a null or risk them realizing my identity—another one of Gretchen’s games, but by that time I knew better.

It was for my very survival.

Pretending that part of me doesn’t exist is the hardest part of the game, and only Nero knows what I can do. Luckily, my beautiful raven found me not long after I arrived in Shalo, Gretchen’s childhood home. Thankfully, the villagers think Nero is a wild animal that just happens to like me. He makes sure to act like it, too, stealing loaves of freshly baked bread off of window sills, leaving small dead creatures on the doorsteps of the fae who’ve wronged him or me, and other shenanigans.

If they knew we could talk to each other, they’d probably kill him.

He rolls his beady black eyes. “If only they knew. Fine, let’s get home and come up with a plan to keep your ass hidden.”

I shake my head in amusement as he crouches and takes off into the trees, heading back towards the cluster of houses that is Shalo. Worry clutches in my chest as I think about the plan I’ve come up with to avoid the conscription. It’s been formulating in my head since I heard those rumors. It may not be the best, but it’s not like I can head to another town. As a null, I won’t be able to easily find work or a place to stay without family—or so they say. It’s not worth the risk. But I do know these mountains like the back of my hand. I can conveniently sneak away on a hunting trip before the recruiting officers come then come back oblivious to what happened. Sure, hunting trips are forbidden for me, but it’s better than the academy—it would be worth the punishment from the Village Elders.

It wouldn’t be hard to convince them that I hadn’t known about the conscription. News of soldiers coming for recruitment wouldn’t be on their list of things to inform me about. And it’s not like their punishment is anything new to me. Before Gretchen left to join the ancestors, the villagers of Shalo tolerated me, I was an outsider. Now? I just take their cruelty because this is my life.

I fiddle with my necklace and it brings me back to a time before this mountain life, but I stomp out the thoughts before they get carried away. It would crush me under its weight otherwise. The life I was destined to live was shattered, and I cling to the promise I made my mother that night—to never go back home, and to keep my identity a secret. So I do everything in my power to forget the life I had there, keep myself hidden and unassuming. And what’s more unassuming than a null? Although sometimes I can’t help but let the thoughts free, a temporary joy that eventually leads to heartache.

Dusk settles across the sky like an old friend; the purples, pinks and blues bring me a sense of comfort. The temperature drops drastically, but the chill brings me to life, making me feel something other than pain. Plumes of smoke rise in the distance and I sigh, automatically quieting my steps as I try to enter the village without attracting unwanted attention.

Just as I’m about to cross the boundary into the village, vines wrap around my legs with an insane amount of speed, rooting me in place. Panic crawls up my throat as the vines spiral up my body, rendering me completely immobile. My magick sparks inside me, but I bite the edge of my tongue, tamping it down as my heart rate quickens.

A voice sounds from behind me and the gravelly tone tells me exactly who it is. “Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Elric drawls as he moves in front of me, his face twisted into a sneer as his long brown hair whips in the late mountain breeze.

I make no noise and I don’t dare move. Fae are primal when it comes to their behaviour, especially the males, and nothing taunts them more than a female that fights back. I’ve just learned to pick my battles. And if I want to ensure I can make it out of the village before the officers arrive then I need to be on my best behaviour. Being a null is the bottom of the food chain, even lower than lesser fae. Nulls are nothing, and people don’t care what happens to them: a lie I have to become to keep my heritage a secret.

“Well, bitch? I’m talking to you. You know you’re not allowed to leave the village,” Elric snaps.

I tame my tongue and keep what I actually want to say to this piece of shit to myself. “I was worried about my raven, so I went to take a walk to see if I could find him,” I say softly while internally rolling my eyes at how pathetic I sound.

Elric punches me in the gut and my breath expels from my body so quickly, instantly becoming winded. “Nulls don’t have rights to leave. Especially not for some filthy pest. You need permission from Cardon, and you know he’ll never give it to you. Fifty lashes is the punishment,” he hisses with a smile that’s all teeth, his pointed canines on display.

My heart rate climbs higher and I’m instantly regretting my decision to leave the village tonight. Usually we wait until early morning—before the sun comes up—but I just needed to get out. I just needed a single breath away from the cold, prying eyes of the villagers.

Lashes are one of the more severe punishments they give me, but not the worst. This is going to ruin everything, but maybe there’s a silver lining. Maybe the recruiters won’t take me if they see that I’m injured. They wouldn’t want an iron-mauled null in their ranks, right?

Elric cuts the ends of my tether vines from the snow-laden forest floor and using them, drags me to the village center, right up to the tall post in the middle of the muddied snow in front of the village leader’s hut. He undoes my cloak and throws it to the ground before he puts on a pair of gloves, taking the iron chains and clasping them to my wrists. The moment they touch my pale skin, my flesh blisters and reddens, and I hiss in pain. Iron is dangerous at best, deadly at worst.

He strips the rest of the vines from me and I watch with dread as he draws out a dagger, using it to cut away my threadbare tunic, slicing me in the process. The cold against my naked flesh makes me shiver, my skin prickling as it’s exposed to the elements.

I vaguely register the noises of other fae gathering around to watch the spectacle. This is nothing new—any chance they get, they entertain themselves by taking it out on me—but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. This mistreatment is my life, and it’s like a cruel joke to think that my existence could have been different. Maybe in a different world where everyone I loved wasn’t ripped from me… But I’m alone.

---