Page 81 of Unraveling with You

I allow my face to contort into my ugliest cry. The only sound echoing throughout my childhood home is my sharp, angry tears, but I don’t feel shame in them anymore; I feel the power in them. Instead of pretending to be invincible, I’m finally showing how deeply Dad scarred me for life, not just physically, but throughout every form of my essence. I can hear my heart’s pain, releasing from tears of pent-up grief over little Lilibeth’s sense of safety.

I can do this. I can finally leave.

But my heart wavers as Mom panickily wheels herself down the hall, crying with me. She raises her quivering voice. “I’m so sorry I didn't notice.”

Closing my eyes, I lean into Remington, tempted to collapse as my heart snaps.

But Mom grasps my hands, holding me upright with Remington’s warm hands on my waist. “I need to talk this out with your father, and hold him accountable for it all. I need to take time to understand this, for all of us. But please, listen to me: I understand if you never come back here, Lilibeth. I won't hold it against you. The least I can do is allow you to live for yourself now, just like I've been hoping for you. Please, whatever you decide, just be free, my love. Be free.”

She props herself up just enough to swipe a tear off my cheek. I grasp her hand tight, hugging it to my chest.

“I love you,” I rasp. “Both of you.”

It’s confusing, but I mean every word. Mom gives me a soft smile despite her longing eyes, knowing this is goodbye for quite some time. She allows me to leave with Remington, pinning Dad in place with a tense shake of her head.

Remington closes the door behind us.

I can’t believe this just happened. I’m so shell-shocked that I can’t remember the walk to the car, snapping back into my awareness in the passenger’s seat.

Remington’s thumb sweeps over the back of my palm as he shares the silence with me. As I peek into his eyes, he gives me a somber smile.

“There you go, baby girl. I’m right here. You did it. You really did it.”

He’s been softly crying this whole time. As my tears return, Remington strokes my head with an even wider smile to mirror me - I’m grinning from ear to ear despite my lips quivering.

“Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I couldn’t have done this without you,” I say.

He shakes his head, and I only smile wider; I’ve memorized this conversation already after training my heart alongside him for nearly a year. He doesn’t need to reiterate that we’re happy to be there for each other, no matter how painful life’s worst moments may feel.

Which means it’s time for aftercare. “Can you drive two blocks over, please? There’s a really pretty park I want to show you.”

Remington laughs through his stuffy nose, kissing my hand before slipping from my grasp. “Sure thing, my gorgeous little panther.”

The further we drive, the freer my heart feels - just like Mom hoped. Except it’s still so heavy with pain and disappointment that I can hardly bear to suck in each weighty inhale.

Bitter nostalgia seeps through my core as we pull up to the park, childhood memories flooding my mind. The good ones hurt just as much as the sad, frantic anxiety I’d feel for making Dad take me to the park while Mom didn’t feel well. I’ve avoided this place because of it.

Except this time, I made the right choice in returning anyway; Remington’s presence refreshes my soul to create a new, healing conclusion to those confusing, lonely days.

Remington leads me to a cool patch of grass. We settle in side by side, watching the sunset lower the clouds into ice cream pastels across the sky.

“I’m so proud of you. So amazed by you.” Remington takes my hand. “I’ve never met anyone so brave, and I’m so honored you let me be by your side to witness you owning your power.”

My eyes flood with tears. We snuggle closer, Remington’s cheek pressing against the top of my head as I nuzzle into his chest. Even though my heart hurts, I’m smiling.

“Thank you. I feel so seen by you,” I whisper.

But when Remington sniffles above me, my heart flips. Lifting my head to check Remington’s expression, I’m surprised he doesn’t attempt to hide his tears from me. I let out a soft whimper as a droplet rolls down his cheek, but Remington dives for my lips. Our kisses are rushed and sloppy, startling us into laughter as we have to gasp for air from our stuffy noses. Swiping each other’s faces with our sleeves, I cherish every second of the earnest giggling he inspires in my sore chest.

I sigh. “I’m so disappointed. I really thought Mom felt trapped too, but she chose my dad even before I was born, and she kept choosing him. I only believed she was trapped because I felt like I was, all my life. But it really was just me. I really was as alone as he made me feel.”

Remington hums, tucking my hair behind my ear. I scoot closer, glancing back to the sunset as it deepens into blood orange.

My voice shakes. “Rem, I never realized it as deeply until today, but she broke my heart along with him too.”

Drawing me to him gently, Remington kisses my forehead. “I know, I watched it hit you, and it broke my heart too. I’m so sorry.”

Burying my head against his chest, I warp into heartier, yearning tears. Remington holds me tighter, securing me in place. We breathe through the heartache together, but after a silent minute, I laugh.

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