Page 26 of The Cult

He takes a step forward so our chests are practically touching and inhales deeply, letting the air out through his nostrils. I imagine I don’t smell as fresh as I’d like to in such close quarters with anyone after spending more than a day in the same clothes in temperatures that barely dipped into the low seventies last night and have to be up in the high nineties today. If I smell bad, though, there’s no sign of disgust in the way he looks at me after taking a big breath in.

“I’m sorry about what happened with Nadine this morning, Lara. I know you were just expressing sadness over what happened with that girl.”

I want so much to tell him that’s exactly why I spoke out, but I simply nod and hope that’s not stepping out of line. If only his buddy Nadine had understood why I was sad and wanted a moment to mourn Anna, none of what happened today would have been necessary. I don’t know if he thinks that way, though.

He sighs and says, “You’re a sensitive person. I can see in your eyes the truth about what the world has done to you. You’ve cared, and society has run all over your feelings. You’ve loved wholeheartedly, and people who were too damaged or too callous took that love and twisted it into something they could use against you. I know, Lara. I do. You have no idea how many people I’ve seen just like you. People who have so much capacity for love and the greatness that comes from that ability to love, and just like you, they weren’t appreciated for how wonderful they are.”

With every word he speaks, it’s like he’s breaking down my barriers, walls I didn’t know existed and those I thought were needed because I’m an educated woman in modern society. All this touchy-feely stuff isn’t supposed to be real, but he makes it sound so true.

No! I can’t let myself get sucked into this kumbaya world of his. As much as I wish life was kinder and gentler, that isn’t the case. Reality is what it is.

I can only hope Rina didn’t fall for this feel-good stuff.

And then, just as I think I’m in control of myself, he cups my cheek, and it’s like my body is instantly covered in warmth and love.

“It’s okay to not be sure, Lara. You’ve spent your entire life dealing with what society has forced you to handle. You’ve built up defenses to make sure you don’t suffer. I understand. I felt that way all my life until I found the light. All I had to do was let it in, and I instantly knew happiness like I’d never known before. I want that for you. Do you want that for you, Lara?”

The deep green flecks around his pupils seem to sparkle as I stare into his green eyes, almost as if they’re part of this performance he’s doing. Now I understand why so many people willingly join this group and follow him. The things he says make you feel like he has the answers to questions you didn’t even know you had until he spoke them. Who wouldn’t want to feel complete love and acceptance and find their greatness?

I’m not like them, though. I know this game he’s playing. If he truly cared about the people here, he wouldn’t let the likes of Nadine and her gang terrorize them simply for stepping out of line. That’s not unconditional love.

That’s manipulation, and I have a feeling he’s an expert at it.

My goal coming here was to find my sister, though, so for the time being, I need to play his game. He wants to be the one to lead me to the promised land, and I need to make him believe I’ve bought into his system completely.

Micah waits to see me succumb to his sales pitch to follow him to find happiness like I’ve never know before, so I need to make it believable when I say yes. I open my eyes wide like I’m enthralled by his offer and nod. I imagine I look exactly like I did when I was twelve and that boy I liked asked if I wanted him to kiss me.

But just as I feel now, I knew then too that what was expected of me was sweetness and compliance. Micah and that pre-teen boy are the same. They want control but don’t want to fight for it, so instead they use a softer, more seductive ploy. I doubt Donnie Cimino knew precisely what he was doing, but Micah does.

He cradles my face and leans forward to kiss me softly on the lips. My eyes remain open as I watch him enjoy the first taste of me, and when he pulls away, he smiles just as a conquering hero would. He’s sure he’s converted yet another unhappy female tired of the world taking advantage of her good nature, and all he’s had to do was promise to give me the one thing that can only be found inside me.

There is no way my sister fell for this. No one will ever be able to convince me of that. She may be here because she likes the positivity these people espouse, but I cannot believe she’s like one of those mindless zombies I saw walking around outside.

“Okay. Now that I know you believe as we do, I’d like to officially welcome you to The Golden Light. Please don’t let what happened earlier stop you from achieving your innate greatness. Do you have any questions?”

Every cell in my body practically screams out that I have nothing but questions about what’s going on in this place. I know better than to voice most of them, though. I need to act like I’m a true convert if I want to find out what happened with Rina, so I shake my head and smile.

“I’ll have one of the women explain how everything here works. You’ll be given a job that will accentuate your natural abilities, and therefore, increase your happiness. You’ve found a place where you can truly be your best self here, Lara. I’m so glad you’ve joined us.”

Although Nash told me not to speak unless Micah asks me a direct question, I decide I’m going to say something and whisper, “Thank you.”

My new leader smiles and sets his hands on my shoulders. “You don’t have to thank me. That’s what society expects from you, but that’s empty and hollow. Unless you truly are thankful for what you’ve found here. Are you truly thankful?”

“Yes. I think I’ve always wanted what I’ve found here, so I mean it when I say thank you.”

Micah studies my face for a long moment before nodding. “I think you do. I like that for you, Lara. Are you ready to experience true fulfillment and happiness like you’ve never had before?”

“I am.”

14

Nash

The sun beatsdown on the women tending to the gardens that produce the food we eat here, and I can’t help but wonder how they do it day in and day out. It’s got to be at least ninety degrees already today, and we haven’t even hit the hottest time of the afternoon. Yet they’re out there without a hint of shade picking vegetables like it’s a lovely spring day with a nice breeze and barely any humidity.

A twinge of embarrassment pinches at me for all the times I’ve complained about how Micah forces us guards to wear black T-shirts, black pants, and boots year round. Compared to those women out there in the scorching hot sun every day taking care of the gardens so we all can eat, my discomfort with the temperature feels petty and small, especially now as I watch them from the shady area next to one of the sleeping quarters.

Footsteps behind me tear my attention away from the gardens, and I turn around to see Adam coming toward where I stand. Damnit, I hate having to deal with him, and for that, I won’t chastise myself. This guy’s a jackass. I can’t figure out why Micah keeps him around as a guard.

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