Page 1 of Because of Her

CALLUM

“Will you be home for dinner?”

I’ve been up for hours, loading my belongings onto the truck, but Maisie is still in her pyjamas as we hug goodbye. Rubbing away the sleep dried in her lashes, she steps back from our embrace to look at me. With me crouched in a squat position, we’re almost eye to eye, but the quiver of her lower lip has me looking away.

“Ahh, no.” I run my palms along my thighs, taking a moment to find the right words before looking back up at her. “I’m going to live in another house now, Maisie.”

“Why?” Her eyes scrunch together, and a crack forms through the centre of my chest. I knew this morning was going to be difficult for the both of us, but I had no idea how much it would hurt.

“Well, remember how we said mummy and daddy weren’t going to be married anymore?”

When she nods, I continue. “It means we’re going to have our own houses. You’ll live with mummy most of the time, but soon you’ll be able to come stay with me.”

Behind Maisie, my ex-wife, Audrey, scoffs. These were details we still had to work out. The divorce papers list that we share custody. In my ideal world, the 50/50 agreement would start immediately, but Audrey has been adamant we all have a little time to settle.

She believes Maisie needs stability for the short term; that we should focus on one change at a time. To her, it means Maisie staying in her home and not being ‘shipped from houseto house every fortnight’. And while I agree in principle, I’m also not willing to give up all custody of the most important person in my life. Once I have convinced her mother I am settled in my new place, and spending time with me is what’s best for Maisie, she will be spending half her weeks with me.

When a tear forms in the corner of Maisie’s eye, I drop my knees to the ground and pull her in for another bear hug. “I love you, chicka,” I whisper into her ear. “No matter what, know that I love you, and I’m going to miss you. So much.”

Tears of my own start forming, but I need to be the strong one, for Maisie. I blink them away as I draw in a long breath. The scent of the sweet coconut from her hair calms me; the dark waves being the only thing she got from me.

When I try to pull away, she clings tight to my shoulders and cries. “Don’t go Daddy.”

I wish I didn’t need my ex-wife’s support, but when Maisie refuses to let go, I know I do. I shift my gaze up to Audrey, forcing a slow blink when she stares back down at me. As much as it pains me, I know the best thing for Maisie is for me to make a quick exit. Audrey scoops her up, carrying her inside and offering to putBlueyon.

I wait until Maisie’s laughter travels through the open window and onto the porch where I stand. When the melodic sound hits my ears, I soak it in. Turning toward the rental truck, my heart splits in two, and I know, without a doubt, it will never be whole again.

My love for my ex-wife evaporated long ago, and in the aftermath, I decided she can have all the material possessions she wanted. She wanted the house, she could have it. She wants all the furniture, fine. The one thing she cannot take, and the one thing I will never forgive her for trying to take; what matters most to me; my daughter.

The truck beeps as I reverse into the lobby drop off zone. Each piercing sound is a needle straight to the temple, but even after I pull to a stop, the pain continues. I don’t want to be here.

It’s a temporary stop while I find a new house, but the apartment building is nothing like my old home. Instead, it is full of couples, old ladies, and single friends. The last tenant report stated there are no kids in the building, and I worry about how my daughter will handle the move once her mother finally lets her stay.

Standing on the sidewalk, I stretch my limbs and gesture for my family to get out of their car. I’ll be forever grateful for their support.

“Woah, Maisie is so lucky,” my nephew calls out as he stares up at the building in adoration. “There must be loads of stairs in this house.”

My brother-in-law claps a hand on my back. “Speaking of stairs, just how many flights are we talking about?”

“Three, but I paid extra for the furniture delivery so they’ll get the heavy stuff. We just have the boxes.”

He moves to wrangle the kids off the retaining wall. Passing them each a sweet before giving them each a small bag of … something. It’s my stuff, but I lost track of what was put where hours ago.

He calls to my mum, “Do you want to take them up and we’ll help Callum with the boxes?”

“If they get one flight of stairs in, I’ll be happy,” my sister, Isobel, muses from beside me.

She wraps an arm around my middle, leaning some of her weight onto me. Isobel and I have always been close, thanks to the strong family values our parents instilled in us. Despite the usual teenage hatred we shared, I now considerher to be one of my best friends. Without her support throughout the past year, and the past month of house hunting, I would have crumbled.

I pass my mother the key to the building so she can let herself in. Watching them, I picture Maisie walking in their place. Once she gets through the changes, my daughter will love it here. The stairs, the people—even if they aren’t kids her own age. I feel a pang in my chest at the thought of not putting her to bed tonight, the hurt reaching deep in my soul.

Maisie is a firecracker. Even though she’s only recently turned five, I can tell she’s going to rule the world one day. From the moment she was born, she became my first priority, and that’s exactly how she’ll remain.

Her mother and I realised our marriage was dying over a year ago, but through the separation process, I’d stayed with them in our old family home. It worked, for us, to have both Maisie’s parents under one roof. With the divorce finalised, we realised it was time for one of us to move out.

We’d tried to talk to Maisie about how we weren’t going to be married any more. She knew we were no longer sleeping in the same room, but I don’t think she understood what any of it meant until this morning.

My heart aches, remembering how confused and hurt Maisie was.

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