Page 12 of Because of Them

“Sure, but Freddie fell for it too. Andthatis what’s funny. But you were half asleep and didn’t even realise.”

“Okay fine, say I was bored. That doesn’t mean I can run the whole goddamn business. It’s a big jump.”

“He doesn’t want you to run the business right away Mike, he just needs you to take a step.”

Brendan pauses, his hand on the door, ready to make a run for it. “Gym?” he asks.

“Does a bear shit in the woods?”

With a sharp nod, Brendan sucks in as much dry air as he can before running through the rain to his car.

The whole conversation has been too much for me, and I hate the way Brendan has gotten under my skin. Goosebumps erupt down my arms, leaving a crawling feeling in their wake. I don’t want to think about how perfect Audrey is but how it’s probably time to let her go. And I don’t want to think about the next steps I might take towards running the business. Because both those thoughts hurt too fucking much.

I hold them in as I drive to the gym, ready to let them out on the weights.

AUDREY

“You didnot.”

I turn away as Cassidy slaps Callum in the chest with a grin bigger than the sun. Despite how happy I am for them, it still hurts. I still remember how happy I was when he did the same thing for us, how bittersweet it felt when he signed the whole thing over to me in the divorce.

Just like I knew he would, Callum adored the showy town house and all its modern architecture. From the moment he stepped out of his car and into the shadow of the steep pitched facade, he fell in love. Cassidy loved it too. I’d barely finished locking up after showing them the place last week when Callum sent me through an offer well above asking. I hadn’t realised Cassidy wasn’t aware until we came for a final walkthrough today to sign all the remaining paperwork.

“You said you loved it, I love it, Maisie loves it.” Callum replies, earning himself another slap. “Maisie stop running up and down the stairs.”

Jumping the final step, Maisie lands with a clack on the tiled floor. She drops down to sit on the lower step with a thud, scoffing. Just to make sure none of us miss her displeasure, she crosses her arms over her knees and grumbles. I turn away from her little outburst, determined not to laugh. She’s full of them lately, and the less I interact, the sooner she moves on from her miniature catastrophe.

“That doesn’t mean buy it.” Cassidy says to Callum, and I’m beginning to feel like it’s time to remove myself from the conversation. I take a step back, towards the wide arched hallway that leads to the front of the house.

“Cassidy, I’ve wanted to buy a house since before I moved into the apartment, you know that.”

“I can’t afford this.” Cassidy scoffs.

Bile rises to my throat, threatening to spill out all over the large tiles on the floor. At the happiness of it all. At how easily everything is coming for them.

“I don’t need you to. I’m buying it for you, for us.”

And here it comes.

“Excuse me,” I choke out as I rush past the happy couple towards the bathroom on the main floor.

The contents of my stomach upend themselves into the toilet.

Cassidy, Callum and Maisie all fall silent as I succumb to my all-day sickness. I’d hoped it would be gone by now, but I’ve had no such luck. If anything, it’s only gotten worse. What started as a lot of dry heaving has progressed into full on vomiting attacks that are impossible to hide. If I hadn’t made it obvious by sprinting to the toilet, the noise has definitely given it away. The small bathroom has floor to ceiling tiles and my splutters echo all around me.

“Let’s go outside,” I hear Callum whisper. The screen door slams behind them.

After I finish coughing up my breakfast, I rinse my mouth and splash my face with cold water. Propped against the sink, I glare at myself in the small round mirror. My normally blue eyes are bloodshot and the loose hair framing my face sticks to my shining forehead. The rounds of my cheeks are red, and I swear they look puffier than they did a week ago. Not wanting to dirty the perfectly folded hand towel hanging on the rack, I dry my mouth with my sleeve.

I did the math. I wouldn’t even be through my first trimester, and I’ve been vomiting multiple times a day, but I swear I’ve already gained weight. Tearing my gaze away from the sweaty face in the mirror, I glance down at my belly. The soft curves of my stomach and hips still mask the appearance of my tiny bump. Even so, my hands cradle my front as I remind myself that all the heaving, all the nausea and coughing and illness, will be worth it once this little bean is born.

“Audrey?”

I jump, despite Cassidy’s gentle tone. The bathroom door sits open where I failed to close it. Cassidy’s face pops through the gap. Her eyes tilt down as she takes in the scene. The room clearly smells like vomit, and Ilooklike I’ve just emptied my stomach. And my hands still hold my invisible bump.

She opens her mouth a fraction, but closes it again with a slight shake of her head. Her hand reaches out towards me, but pulls back to rest on her own stomach.

“Never ask,” she whispers to herself. Looking back up at me, she speaks more clearly. “Are you okay?”

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