Page 16 of Because of Them

“Look sorry, you don’t have—”

“I want to.” He cuts off my attempt to take back the invitation. My shoulders relax as he continues. “Yes, please. Let’s meet again. But I can’t this week. Maybe next?”

I sink into the seat.

“I’ll have Maisie, the weekend after?”

The idea of waiting two weeks to tell him is a kick right to my growing stomach, but it’s better than the alternatives. I can’t rely on my ex-husband to look after Maisie again, but I have no one else nearby to babysit and I’m not ready to bring her along. We could meet for dinner after work one night, but I have evening showings for a bunch of high-end houses I need to sell. Plus, lately I’ve been so exhausted afterwards that I doubt I’ll be able to get the right words out.

So, two weeks it is. At least I’ll have time to figure out what I’m going to say. And plan for the many hundreds of ways this whole situation is likely to go pear shaped.

MICHAEL

“Skinny latte?”

The barista blinks up at me through her fake lashes, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. With a coy smile, she pops her hip as she leans forward over the counter. I don’t miss the way she pushes her chest together with her arms, but I ignore her blatant flirting and keep my eyes on her face.

“Two, please.”

Beside me, Baxter barks a short response to my voice.

Jumping to stand up straight, the barista wipes her hands on her apron and punches the order into her tablet. Belinda, I think her name was. Or Melinda. I love this little coffee stand. They have the best roast and until recently I would come past every other morning on my walk home from the gym.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve had more than a handful of harmless flirts with, um, we’ll go with Linda. We got along well enough, and she is nice to look at. A few winks and suggestive glances, a bit of fun banter. It was all in good fun, and if it got me a free cookie with my coffee I wasn’t going to complain.

And then one day, she wrote her number on my takeaway cup. At first, I’d saved it to my phone with every intention of calling her. Maybe not for anything serious, but at least for a bit of fun. Back when I was meeting girls any way I could, trying to find the one that would change my ways.

The next day, I met Audrey. I deleted every random girl’s number from my phone within a week. Meeting Audrey, and getting to know her, was like a light turning on above my head. I could finally see everything clearly and I knew then she was going to change my life. That was before I freaked out and ruined any chance of being with her I thought I had.

“Are you meeting someone?” Linda asks. She pops her head to the side and pulls her lower lip between her teeth. When I nod, she pushes her lower lip out.

“Oh. You never called me.”

I really want her to just make the coffees. I promised Audrey I’d have one ready for her when she messaged to say she was running late. I’ve never been so excited to hear I’d have to wait for someone. Truth be told, until she sent that text, I was worried she wasn’t going to show at all.

“No, I didn’t,” I admit. I rest my elbows on the counter, keeping my expression flat and leaning towards Linda in a way I hope is friendly but not flirtatious. Truthfully, I don’t know how to separate the two, but I’m doing my best. “I was going to but I—”

“Michael?”

Fuck. I jump back at the sharp tone of Audrey’s voice and Baxter takes a step between my legs. Spinning to face Audrey, I get tangled in the lead, nearly toppling over. My face begins to light up when I twist myself free, but the smile drops as quickly as it was forming when I see Audrey’s scowl.

Okay, so leaning forward too much falls a little too close to the flirtatious line.

Reaching behind me, I drop my cash on the counter.

“Keep the change,” I call over my shoulder, not daring to face Linda again.

Audrey takes a step back, tucking her hands in the pockets of her grey cardigan and wrapping the fabric around herself. Her mouth falls open, but when no words form, she snaps it closed again. Despite the way she shrinks away from me, all I want to do is envelop her in a bear hug. The kind she once told me she loved.

Beneath the wide rips of her faded jeans, her silky skin looks paler than it used to. Her hair is pulled back from her face with a big green clip, but the mousey colour of the top half still contrasts against her grown out blonde highlights. Everything about her—how she holds herself, her thrown together outfit, the way her eyes have sunken into her face—is so unlike the Audrey I first met. She was so put together, so … perfect. But somehow, this is even better. She is Audrey, so comfortably herself in a way I don’t think she understands.

I scratch at my neck, unable to put my awe into words.

Audrey shifts on her feet, bouncing her attention between me, Linda making our coffees, and her feet. “You and …?”

“No. No, not at all.” Baxter rubs his nose against the back of my knee, and I step towards Audrey, pleasantly surprised when she doesn’t shy further away. Although he may just have wanted my attention, Baxter’s nudge encourages me to be completely honest with Audrey. About this and about everything, from nowuntil forever. I’m probably reading too much into my dog’s habits.

“I mean, she gave me her number once. She was asking why I never called. I was just trying to let her down gently because she makes a damn good latte and I’d hate for her to start spitting in them.”

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