Page 22 of Because of Them

I’m starting to remember exactly why I fell for Michael in the first place. There’s sex, and then there’s the fucking mind blowing ‘he can throw me around like a ragdoll’ kind of sex. The kind that’s rough in all the best ways but ends with warm embraces and gentle massages. And when I remember the post sex bear hugs, I can’t help but think of the ‘I’m so excited to see you’ bear hugs and the ‘please stay a little longer’ bear hugs.

All this time, I was remembering Michael as the guy who ran out in the morning because he heard Maisie call out for me. I’d forgotten the flirty and nurturing guy who swept me off my feet and made me feel human again. I’d forgotten how afternoonsspent with Michael flew by in a haze of laughter and the kinds of fun I didn’t remember how to have.

Maybe I was too harsh on him. I’m still sour that he ran out when he did and took a week to call me, but I guess some small part of me understands it, at least. Maisie was always going to be a big adjustment for him, and maybe there’s a case there that says I shouldn’t have expected him to play happy family quite so soon. I held that against him for so long, even after he apologised countless times and tried so hard to get us back together.

All I can do is hope that the next six months are enough for him to get used to the fact he is going to be a father. There’s no running out this time.

In front of me, Michael lifts the bar and all its weight off the supports and takes a step forward. I shuffle closer, ready to spot him if he needs me. He does his set of squats, dropping low, and just as I expected his muscles pulse under the weight. I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to ignore that heat pressing against my core.

After six squats, Michael steps back and I jump out of his way as he re-racks the bar. He turns to me, hanging his arms over the now supported bar and winking.

“See. Didn’t need you.”

“Do you have to do more?”

Michael grabs the bar loosely and swings under it, landing in my arms. He gathers my hair in his hands, then loops the hair tie on his wrist around it, pulling my messy strands into a low ponytail. “While I rest, it’s your turn.”

A firm lump forms directly in my throat and I try to gulp it down but end up choking on a tiny sliver of my own saliva. Coughing, I wave my hand at him.

“I said I’m not doing that.”

Michael pats me on the shoulder and reaches past me to pick up a thin bar from the floor. He rests one end on the ground and leans on it like a cane. “You’ll use this.”

Right. That makes more sense, I suppose. This bar is far thinner than the one Michael was using, but I’ve never done any kind of weight training. Surely this is too much. I’m about to tell him so, when Michael rests one finger on my lips.

“It weighs less than five kilos Audrey; you carry more than that when you bring the groceries inside.”

The lump in my throat doesn’t magically dissipate, but I nod my acceptance anyway. Michael shows me where to stand and how far apart to hold my legs, then stands behind me to place the bar across my shoulders. He isn’t touching me, but we are so close his singlet brushes against my shirt.

“I’m right here,” he whispers in my ear. “Bend with your knees and keep your back straight.”

With his hands on my waist, he guides me through the first squat, and the second. His fingers barely graze against my hips for the next and I’m already dying to call it quits. My thighs burn and the bar is heavy on my shoulders.

“Three more.” Michael’s voice is breathy against the back of my neck and I force myself to complete the set.

“I’m done,” I declare as he takes the bar from my shoulders. “I tried. I’m done.”

“We can go.”

“You can finish your workout. I don’t want you to call it early because I’m an unfit pregnant wuss.”

Michael drops my tiny bar into a rack on the wall and steps up to the plates on his far larger bar. One by one he pulls them off, hanging them back on the side of the stand. Once all six plates have been put away, he hangs the bar in place with all the rest and turns to me.

“I love that you wanted to come here Audrey, and I appreciate it, but I don’t expect you to sit around watching me. This was meant to be about getting to know each other, right?”

I wrap my arms around my stomach, looking down at my feet with a nod. Stepping forward, Michael tilts my chin back up to look at him.

“So, we learnt that you don’t like the gym unless you’re watching me. And I have my own set up at home, so if you really want to watch me, we don’t need to be here. And there are other things we can do back there that we can’t do here.”

His eyes twinkle and I allow a smile to creep onto my face. I tap my temple with my forefinger. “I don’t need to watch you, Michael. I’ve got it all up here forever now.”

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. I’m about to squirm free when his mouth meets mine with a firm but playful kiss. I tense against him at first, but he doesn’t let go and I relax into his hold, and into the kiss. Planting a kiss on his lower lip I edge away from him.

Michael looks down at my stomach, his hand hovering an inch away from where our baby is currently stealing all my food. As if in response, my stomach grumbles. Breakfast was too long ago. I’m about to tell him but he heads for the lockers and rifles through his bag.

“I have something for you, before we go.”

Turning back to me he holds out a small brown, furry ball, along with a little plastic spoon that has a serrated edge on the handle.

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