Page 27 of Because of Them

“Your secret is safe with us,” Amira chimes in.

I suppose I have to tell Maisie soon. But I’m not ready for the questions I’m sure will follow. She’s asked how babies are made in the past, back when she used to beg Callum and I for a little sister. We brushed it off with the cliche ‘when a mummy and a daddy love each other they can choose to have a baby.’ How am I supposed to tell her that this baby was an accident, but that we love it anyway? What do I tell her about my relationship with Michael? I stare at him for a while, thankful that he has slotted himself into the group of guys the same way I did withthe women. A slightly older man has joined them, the salt and pepper of his hair obvious even from across the yard. They talk and chat and laugh, Callum is gesturing around the yard while Michael nods along aimlessly, pulling at the label of his beer.

I’m glad he is getting along with the men. No matter what happens between the two of us, he will become intimately involved in this thrown together family circle we have going on. That’s why I invited him to Callum’s housewarming in the first place. He is the only reason I’m here. But I’m glad I am. Something about this group of women feels nostalgic and comforting. We’ve barely shared a conversation but I’m instantly welcomed into the group, as though we’ve all been friends for years.

“So, you and the golden retriever?” Madison asks.

For a second I dart my eyes around the grass, wondering if I somehow forgot that Baxter came with us. When I don’t see the dog anywhere I turn back to Madison, eyebrows pinched. She rolls her eyes. “Long blond hair, adorable smile, sexy as fuck muscles?”

“Michael?”

“Mike?”

My head jerks to Cassidy. “You know him?”

The mid-spring air grows thin around us, a heaviness settles inside me. I know her answer before she says it.

“Yeah, I … uh … we … look we went on one date. But it wasone date,and nothing happened and I don’t want it to be weird.”

I take a minute to react.It doesn’t have to be weird unless I make it weird.We’d never spoken about it, but Iknewabout Michael’s past. Mike’s past. It didn’t matter, because what matters is the future, whatever that might look like. I’d just never considered that Michael might have dated someone I knew. Someone whose life has ended up so closely tied to mine.

I need to say something, but the moment has dragged on and I still don’t know what to say. It’s been so long that it’s probably even more awkward for me to say something now. It’ll seem too forced. Probably because it is.

As though sensing my unease, Madison leans over to nudge Amira. “And you and Noah? How was the wedding?”

Blush rises from Amira’s neck, leaving her face a bright shade of pink.

“The wedding was good. But no. No me and Noah. Nup.” She stands in a rush and shuffles her feet in the grass while she fixes the skirt of her dress. Once she’s satisfied with how it falls, she turns her focus to Cassidy, glaring down at her friend with fierce lividity.

Madison and I share a confused glance, she shrugs her shoulders as Amira stalks off towards the house.

“I think something happened at the wedding,” Cassidy snickers.

It’s late in the afternoon when Callum finds me resting on the couch inside. My back started to ache from sitting on the grass, then my feet started to hurt from standing. My ankles were starting to disappear again when I slipped away from the group.

“You okay?”

I let out a long sigh as I push myself to a seated position. “Yeah, I was just trying to think of how to tell Maisie about the baby.”

“No ‘mum and dad fell in love’ this time, hey.” He gives a gentle chuckle as I shake my head.

“Let’s ask your mummy if you can have a sleepover!” Maisie’s voice echoes down the steps, followed closely by three sets of heavy footsteps.

“Maisie, come here,” Callum calls out to our daughter. “Like a Band-Aid,” he adds as he sits next to me.

Maisie skips over and her cousins dart outside to their parents. She jumps onto her dad’s lap, stretching her legs out until they push against my thigh. Callum hugs her, then looks up at me. I glare at him, trying to tell him silently that I have no idea how to approach this.

I feel trapped, forced to have a conversation that I’m not ready for, no matter how necessary it may be. Only, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. I need Callum to pull the Band-Aid. I shift my gaze from Maisie up to her dad, nodding my head in his direction. He cocks an eyebrow, but sucks in a breath and turns Maisie to face him.

“You know how when a mummy and a daddy love each other, then they can have a baby?” She nods, her toothy grin growing over her cheeks. “Well sometimes it gets a little mixed up, and two people who aren’t in love end up having a baby.”

Maisie nods, but her eyes squint as she tries to make sense of what Callum is saying.

Band-Aid.

“That happened to Mummy and Michael,” I say with one quick breath. Maisie turns to me, lifting a hand to scratch at her chin. “Mummy is going to have a baby, and Michael is the daddy, even though we aren’t married or love each other that way.”

“But you like him enough to have sleepovers?”

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