Page 34 of Because of Them

We don’t make small talk with the technician as she deposits gooey gel onto Audrey’s stomach. The soft purr of the ultrasound machine and the clicking of keys echo through the otherwise silent room. A tension has been added to the room at the mention of surnames, and all three of us know it. My knee bounces, as unsteady as my breaths and as rapid as my pulse.

Audrey pulls her lip back between her teeth and I fight to keep my eyes away. Fight to keep my mind off how she did the exact same thing when she was trying to be quiet. I try, with everything I can, not to think about the moans that escaped anyway, or how they reverberated through every bone in my body, perfectly in sync with the way my cock throbbed inside her pussy. Nope, definitelynotthinking about that.

I shift in my seat, doing what little I can to hide the bulge growing in my pants.

“Sorry,” the ultrasound technician murmurs when she reaches over to press the wand against Audrey’s belly. She pushes hard against the soft flesh, creating a divot right on the side where I always imagined the baby’s head to be. Audrey winces, wriggling on the recliner.

Dub, dub-dub, dub-dub-dub.

The heartbeat sounds irregular. Faster than a racehorse, but with just as many hooves.

Audrey looks to me, then to the technician, who’s screen is still facing away from us. She clicks her tongue, wriggling the wand some more with her focus intently on her computer.

Then, the heartbeat settles. It’s still fast, but it sounds more like I always assumed a heartbeat would. She moves the wand some more, and the steady thumps double. Moving across to Audrey’s other side, the heartbeat sounds normal again.

All the while Audrey stares up at me, two thin lines between her brows. She pokes her tongue out to wet her swollen and cracked lower lip.

I cup her face, rubbing my thumb along her lip while my fingers caress her cheek. I have no idea what’s going on, but I willnotlet her see my fear. Audrey places her hand over mine, closing her eyes and leaning into the touch. Her lip trembles.

“Has anyone ever mentioned the possibility of multiples?”

The technician’s voice sends a shockwave through the room. Audrey’s eyes snap open and I rip my hand back from her. We turn in unison to face the technician.

“What?”

Beaming, the technician turns her computer screen so we can all see. The display is a blur of static grey until she presses the wand back against Audrey’s bump. The heartbeat settles to a steady rhythm and a tiny baby starts to form on the screen. An oversized head, sure, but two arms, two legs kicking away.

“This is baby number one.” She moves the wand across Audrey’s middle. The image on the screen returns to the grey static and the heartbeat doubles, not quite in time. “And from in the middle you can hear both heartbeats, I’m trying to get a shot of the babies together but the best I can get is this view of the top of their heads.”

The screen shows two grey blobs, almost touching.

“And then, over here is baby number two.” She stretches across to press the wand against the other side of Audrey’sstomach, and a second baby comes to life on the screen. Two more arms, two more legs, another oversized head.

“Two,” Audrey whispers on an exhale, staring at the screen.

“Two,” I repeat, unintentionally pulling back.

“Michael?” Her voice is distant. “Is everything okay?”

“Michael?”

“It will be.” I choke out.It will have to be.

So, I suck it up. I paint on the face of a man about to become the father of twins. A wide smile, a twinkle in my eye. I don’t let on that the moisture there is out of fear, not joy.

The rest of the appointment passes in a blur. Two. Two babies. And I was only just getting used to the idea of having one. We drive home without words, only the rumble of the diesel engine and the faint midday radio show breaking the silence floating between us. I have no idea if Audrey is freaking out just like I am. If she is scared or worried, or maybe she is overcome with joy.Is she worried I’ll run?

Pulling into her long driveway, I rest a hand on her knee. Her breath catches as a single tear falls from the otherwise impenetrable mask on her face.

“I’m here, Audrey.” Because I am, no matter how much I’m panicking on the inside. I am here for her, for them. I doubt I have the maturity to be the best father in the world. I know I’m immature and forgetful and I can’t take anything seriously. But I will always be there, with whatever they need. For those babiesandfor Audrey.

She scoffs, mumbling to herself as she gets out of the car.

I throw the parking brake on to follow her up the steps to her house.

“Audrey, I mean it. I am here, and I know this is unexpected and, fuck, it scares the shit out of me. But we are in this together and I mean that with every piece of my body. I might not be the man you wanted to have another baby with, if you ever wantedthat, and I can probably never become that guy. But I will do everything to be the man you and those babies deserve.”

Her shoulders shake as she pulls her arms around her front. I close the gap, enveloping her in my own arms as she sniffles into my shoulder.

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