Page 55 of Because of Them

A bouquet of scents hits me when we step through the open threshold and into her floristry cafe. Eucalyptus and florals mix with the deep aromatic smell of coffee and the sweet fruity flavours of all the baked goods on display next to the coffee machine.

Cassidy’s friend from the housewarming steps out from behind the coffee bar cart to take my side of the painting.

“Thanks Amira,” Cassidy says as they shuffle behind the long bench.

I say my own thanks and sit down on the edge of a low table scattered with buckets of flowers. My pulse races and my skin burns with the heat, but slowly under the cool flow of thegiant overhead fan my heart returns to a steady rhythm and my panting breaths return to normal.

A young couple enters the shop as Cassidy and Amira prop the painting up against the wall.

Amira skitters over to the coffee cart and starts tinkering with glassware after taking the man’s order. The coffee machine whirs to life. Cassidy excuses herself to help the couple, who are now admiring the wall of greenery along the back of the shop.

The space is exquisite. I’m not sure what I was picturing when Cassidy told me how she had grown her floristry business to also include the boutique, and how, with Amira’s help and expertise, she added the coffee cart. I imagined a lot more pink, less native greenery, more cutesy decor and less exposed brick. But the rustic texture of the brick contrasts beautifully with the matte black fittings and the florals spread through the space. Most of the flowers are Australian natives, just like the Waratahs and Banksias I used in the painting. The low table I’ve made my chair, though, is full of more typical, brightly coloured flowers. Roses, Tulips, Dahlias and Gerberas in every colour of the rainbow.

It’s overwhelming how beautiful the shop is. And it’s inspiring to think that Cassidy created this all on her own. It refills that creative desire in my heart, threatening to spill over until I’m full from the inside out, ready to give up the career I’ve paved for my artwork. It wouldn’t be the worst idea, and with every long day and painful interaction with my boss, I’m closer to deciding not to go back to real estate after my maternity leave than I’ve ever been.

The painting I created for Cassidy has been propped along the wall behind the counter, still wrapped as the women finish serving their customers. It was thrilling to finish the artwork and see Cassidy’s payment hit my bank account. This piece will always be special to me.

“Can we open it now?” Cassidy asks as the couple leaves the store, iced drinks in hand, along with a posy of yellow flowers.

She yanks at the thick tissue paper and stands back with her hands on her hips. I can only see the side of her face, but her cheek puffs out as she beams down at the panting. I push off my makeshift chair, taking far too long to stand and shuffle my feet over to Cassidy.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Do you know how you’re going to hang it?”

Amira chuckles from behind the cart. “Yeah, she is going to call her boyfriend to do it for us.” Her hand slaps up to cover her mouth. A deep crimson tinge spreads to the tips of her ears as she looks over to me. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. Is that weird? Should I stop talking about her boyfriend? You know, because he is your ex and all?”

Cassidy grumbles. “Shut up.”

Amira drops her hand to her front, wiping it on her apron. She steps out from the coffee cart and moves to throw an arm over Cassidy’s shoulders. “Right, sorry. Probably weirder thatyouwent on a date with her baby daddy.”

I freeze. It’s not news to me, Cassidy had mentioned it at the housewarming after all, but it’s no easier hearing about it now than it was then. Come to think of it, it’s probably harder now considering the new lines we’ve started marking out for our relationship. My stomach sinks and churns.

Cassidy turns to me. Her cheeks are brighter than Amira’s ears.

“I promise it didn’t mean anything. In fact, it was a pretty miserable date.”

“Yeah, shecrawledonto the couch afterwards. Moaning and whining about how bad it was.” Amira nudges Cassidy, but her smile drops when she sees the agitation on my face.

I reach for the comforting edges of my cardigan, cursing myself when I come up short. It’s too damn hot for anything more than my simple summer dress, but without a cardigan to wrap around me, I feel naked and exposed. I hug myself all the same.

“We just weren’t right for each other.” Cassidy’s voice is soft as she tries to explain away awkward tension floating all through the room. “I was lofty and carefree and he was … on a tighter time schedule.”

“He had lunch plans. And dinner plans.” Amira squeaks. Her mouth is tight as the words escape, and she throws a hand up to cover them again. “You know what, I’ve got some … ah … paperwork. Yeah, in the office.” She scurries to the room behind the giant floral wall.

“He did,” Cassidy says. “But from what I can tell, he has changed now. At the housewarming he might as well have been a different person. If it wasn’t for the long blond hair and his gigantic muscles, I wouldn’t have recognised him.”

“The muscles, woah,” Amira calls out from the back room. “Is heeverat home or does he live at the gym?”

I bite my lips together and nod, trying to ignore the pulling from deep in my chest.

“Amira!” Cassidy snaps.

I want to scream that it’s not true. To tell her that he spends more time with me than he does at the gym. But I don’t know if that’s the truth. For all I know he probably does spend a lot of time there. He’d have to, for his muscles to still be as firm and delightful as they are. And the few times he’s stayed hedidrush off early in the morning. For work, he’d said, but maybe it was so he could go to the gym first?

“It’s fine,” I say instead, choking the words out through the pain and stepping towards the street.It’s not awkward unlessI make it awkward.Isn’t that what I told myself when I first found out they had been on a date?

And it’s still mostly true but finding out he also had plans with two other women on the same day has me questioning everything. I knew he had been with a lot of women before me. If that wasn’t obvious by the expert way he knew a woman’s body, he’d practically said as much when we first started to see each other more often. Long before the babies were involved and we spoke about our relationship the very first time. The exact words have erased from my memory but it was along the lines of him playing the field but finally feeling like he found the right person. I’d brushed it off as cheesy but now? Now it feels like a cop out.

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