Page 61 of Because of Them

“I won’t be your daddy, Maisie. Because like you said, you have a daddy. And I know he loves you a billion. But yeah, I’m going to be around, so maybe I can be something else. Something almost like a daddy but not really? Like an uncle but … different. Honestly, I don’t know.”

A hand rests gently on my shoulder. “It’s okay not to know. I don’t really know either.”

Audrey’s voice rings through my ears, settling my nervous heart. Her weight falls onto my shoulder as she struggles to sit down next to me.

“We should have moved to the table. How did you even get up before?”

Her bottom finally lands on the floor, and Audrey adjusts to find a comfortable way to sit. Her baby bump is more than just a bump now, it’s a beautiful round home for our babies. It looks uncomfortable at the best of times, let alone trying to sit on the floor. “Sorry,” I add, placing a hand on her knee.

Audrey sighs as she settles, back leaning against me with her legs straight out past where Maisie sits. “I crawled to the couch and pulled myself up.” Her tone is light, but there’s an undercurrent of despair that she can’t shake off with her silent chuckle.

Dropping her cards, Maisie crawls across the deck sitting forgotten between us to rest her hand on her mother’s stomach.

She looks up at me with her bright blue eyes. “So, if you won’t be my daddy, but you’re more than just Michael, what should I call you?”

I ponder her question. I hadn’t thought about being called ‘dad’ by anyone just yet, let alone Maisie. ‘Daddy’ definitely doesn’t feel right, and she is on the right track with me beingmore than just ‘Michael’. I want to be something more to her than that. Words slip off my tongue as I contemplate. “Dad … Michael … Daddy”

“Michael Daddy,” she giggles. “That sounds funny. Like Michaeldaddy. Mikedaddy.”

Audrey runs her fingers through Maisie’s long brown hair. “Mikaddy?” she muses.

“Maddy?” Maisie shortens the word even further into something that, oddly, feels kind of right. She gasps, throwing both hands over her face and kicking her legs.

“Maddy,” I repeat. It’s a playful nickname. One that only we would know the true meaning of.

Audrey twists her head until her eyes meet mine. “Maddy?”

I shrug a shoulder and reach an arm around her to hug both her and Maisie together. “Yeah, I like it.”

Wriggling free from the embrace, Maisie jumps up and moves to stand in front of me. “Maddy,” she squeals before running off to her bedroom.

Something warm settles itself deep in my chest, filling a hole I never noticed was there. I keep my arms wrapped around Audrey and rest my hands on her belly. Everything feels so easy, so perfect in a way I never imagined was possible. I’m constantly holding my breath, waiting for the penny to drop. But it hasn’t, at least not yet. And the closer we get to Audrey’s due date, the more everything seems to fall into place.

My dad’s words echo in my thoughts.‘You’re in love.’

I’ve known for a long time that I love Audrey, but to bein lovewith someone? Doesn’t that take years of getting to know each other and slowly falling, bit by bit? Maybe for some people. But Audrey and I were thrown down the hill together and now, we aren’t just making our way back to the top, we’re soaring above it.

I lean in, soaking in the fruity scent of her hair, stroking her belly as the twins wriggle about inside her, finding peace in the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She leans her head back onto my shoulder and sighs. We sit, in peaceful silence, caring about nothing and no one else. The box of packed up Christmas decorations calls to me from the corner, begging to be returned to its place in the garage, but I ignore it. We have time for all those little tasks. We have all the time in the world.

“Maddy.”

My eyes jolt open at the sound of Maisie’s shrill whisper. Audrey sleeps curled on her side next to me, the blankets loose around her waist. Her bare, round, stomach catches the moonlight that peaks in through a tiny gap in the shutters. Beautiful, always. But not the reason I was forced awake. I turn to Maisie, who’s standing far too close and looks eerily like a ghost in the dim, blue-ish light. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her mane of wavy hair sticks up in every direction. There’s none of her usual childish glow, the bright pink of her cheeks faded away along with most of the colour from her skin.

In all the scattered times I’ve stayed here, she has never come in overnight. Not in the beginning, not now that I spend more nights here than I do back at the apartment. Never. Until now.

“Maisie, what’s wrong?”

She holds a hand over her mouth before she speaks. “I’m sorry Maddy. I was sick.” Tears stream down her face, dripping over her cheeks.

I push up in the bed to hold her close. “Don’t be sorry, shh.” I’m way out of my depth here. Like, I’ve swam too far out at the beach and the tide is dragging me from shore. “Sick, how?”

She chokes, hiccupping as she answers. “I woke up and … I tried not to but … it went everywhere.”

I pull her close, realising too late that everywhere included her nightie. The sticky remains of her illness cling to my arms and chest. I gulp.

Beside me, Audrey stirs, pushing up on an arm to see around me. “What’s wrong?”

She must see Maisie and justknow,because she goes into full survival mode.

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