Page 77 of Because of Them

“Nah, I’ll be fine like this.”

“Are you sure?”

“As I’ll ever be, Audrey. Go have your shower, take your time.”

She slinks off down the hall calling over her shoulder, “I can’t take my time, your parents will be here soon.”

“So, they arrive and you’re in the shower, no big deal.”

She ignores me, slipping into her bedroom and waving an arm behind her. “I’ll be quick!”

Sitting down on the living room floor, I place both boys on the playmat and hold my breath. Henry wriggles and I think maybe I was too sure of myself to not need the wrap, but I roll him onto his stomach so he can see his brother and he calms down. Facing each other, the boys fight to see who can hold their head up the longest. William is the winner, but not by much.

I stretch out on the floor next to them, tickling their toes and singing words of encouragement as they work on their neck muscles. Laying on my arms, I close my eyes and appreciate this tiny, miniscule really, moment of peace. Of both boys happily chilling in a place other than in mine or Audrey’s arms. These minutes are few, and very far between. So, I’ll soak in the silence while it lasts.

It doesn’t though, but it’s neither of the boys’ fault. The doorbell chimes, echoing through the house and causing both boys to whine from their spots beside me. I roll over to sit up, grabbing Henry and William and cradling them against my chest.

Halfway down the hall I call out, “It’s open!”

The low murmur of the shower still floats out from the ensuite, so I use my foot to pull closed the bedroom door as I walk past. Audrey deserves this. Fuck, she deserves so much more than just a shower right now, but some days it’s all I can convince her to do. But in the couple of weeks since the boys have been home, she never wants to leave their sides. I get it, but I want her to remember herself again.

Mum steps into the house with arms wide open. Her features soften when she sees me and she sighs a gentle, “ohh,” as she pats my shoulder.

Stretching her fingers around William, she carefully twists him into her arms and against her chest. He wriggles, whimpering at being shuffled around, but settles into her as she holds him close.

“Come on, um …” she looks down at his tiny face then up at me, “William?”

I chuckle. “Yeah Mum, that’s William.”

She scrunches her mouth into a smirk and shimmies her shoulders as she walks off into the house.

Dad stands at the door, his arms full of food containers. “Your mum’s been busy. I think you have enough ready cooked meals here for a year.”

“We’ll be lucky if it lasts a week with the way Maisie eats. Audrey says she’ll shoot up soon.”

He strolls past me, and I follow him to the kitchen. His expression is stoic as he loads a few of the meals into the fridge and stacks the rest in the freezer. When his arms are free, he turns to me and rests the back of his hips against the bench.

“How are you?”

“Good,” I say, but my shoulders drop and I look down at the top of Henry’s little head. His light hair swirls at his hairline. “Tired,” I admit when a yawn escapes me.

“That’s to be expected. What about with Maisie. She’s what, six?”

“Five. What about her?”

He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks up at me with raised eyebrows. “If I remember correctly, once upon a time you freaked out about the little girl and damn near ruined any chance you had with Audrey.”

“How do you know about that?”

“I talk to your mother, believe it or not. She tells me things.”

Right, well that’s the last time I’ll be confiding in her. My chest sinks at the reminder of how I treated Audrey.

“You’ve been given a second chance, Michael. I just want to make sure you’re not going to blow it.”

“I’m trying. And things are fine with Maisie. Better than fine. She’s great. I just don’t know how to show Audrey that we can bemore than what we are. It doesn’t matter how much I help with the boys or Maisie, it’s like our whole life revolves around these kids. We’re a team, but I want to be more than that.”

I clear my throat, trying to cough away the scratching feeling, and turn away from my father. Tears well in my eyes.

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