“Did you remember to put on all the protective gear?” I try to keep my voice calm, like this is a very normal conversation to have.
She’s quiet for a few moments. “Some.”
Which is totally what I’d expect of her. Especially if she’d slipped out for a couple of rounds before breakfast and didn’t want to let anyone else on about what she’s doing. It means she has at least some awareness of her surroundings.
“Derrick’s not going to be happy when he hears that, you know? He’ll have you recite all the safety rules over and over until he’s sure you’ll always follow them in the future.” By now, I’ve gotten much closer to her and can look behind the partition.
She’s still wearing the same night dress that she went to bed in, but is wearing protective goggles and next to her are a gun and headphones. Yeah, that’s definitely not according to the safety rules.
Then I spot the knife in her hand, which she’s gripping tightly, her knuckles white and her hand shaking. She’s so tense, so scared. Fuck.
She notices me and turns in my direction. Her eyes are dark and unfocused as she meets mine.
A chill goes down my spine. If she thinks I’m a threat for even a moment, she will use that knife on me.
“Aren’t you cold?” I step closer to her, slowly reaching out my hand but not touching her, just watching how she’ll respond.
“I’m not cold. It’s warm enough.” Her voice sounds normal, but her face and eyes don’t show emotion and her pheromones are still full of fear.
“Are you sure? You’re shaking.” I pointedly look at the hand she’s holding the knife in and the moment she pays attention to it, the shaking stops and her hand seems to relax.
“I promise, I’m not cold.” She puts the knife next to the gun and shows me her steady hand. “See? I’m fine.”
Relieved, I pull her against me and step away from the weapons, wrapping my arms around her as much as I can, trying to get through to her with my words. “You scared me. I woke up and you were gone. If you go out in the middle of the night, you have to wake me up, you know that. You promised me.”
This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s been years. These waking nightmares happened a lot more often when we were first on the run, but once she started to feel more confident in her abilities, they stopped. That they’ve come back is a very bad sign.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Her pheromones are still strange, and she doesn’t ease against me, no matter how much I flood her with protective and reassuring pheromones.
“Let’s go inside. If you want to go to the shooting range, you have to get dressed first, and you can’t skip breakfast.” I start walking to the door, where Mathew and Riley are waiting and I hear Jorge follow us.
“You don’t always have breakfast before you start working. I know you and Mathew have been working in the middle of the night without having breakfast first.” Okay, she’s not entirely wrong, and us working all night is clearly bothering her. That’s something we’re going to have to talk about once she’s properly woken up.
But at least she doesn’t seem to be locked inside the ‘danger from all directions’ part of her nightmare anymore.
“Well, I’m not the one who might be pregnant. Skipping breakfast is much worse for you than it is for me.” I keep up the conversation as I follow Mathew, Jorge and Riley down the hallways.
The three shoot me questioning looks, but I give them a slight shake of my head in return. Vera is focused on me right now, I don’t want to overwhelm her and scare her. I need to get her to somewhere that she feels safe as quickly as possible.
Vera lets out a frustrated grunt, the most emotion I’ve seen her express yet. “Mathew might be, though. And you don’t fuss over him like this. You don’t constantly tell him that he has to eat healthier or make him eat before he starts work.”
Mathew glances at us in surprise. Yep, even in her nightmares, she’s more worried about him than she is about herself.
“You’re right. I should do that with him too. You’re totally right.”
She moves slightly, not like she’s relaxing, but like she’s changing her attention. Then her pheromones fill with deadly intent, her voice dropping. “I have to protect him. I have to become strong enough that I can kill anyone who threatens him. Even if that’s you.”
Ice runs through my veins as I realise what triggered this episode.
When Jorge became frenzied at the restaurant and Mathew couldn’t snap him out of it with his pheromones, Vera had to step in, again. Just like she had to do the first time it happened with Mathew and me.
The bond between two Omegas is different than the one between an Omega and their Alpha, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not just as strong, it might be even stronger. Mathew is very protective of Vera, but Vera is just as protective of him.
We’re going to have to deal with a lot of things in the coming days, but figuring out how to prevent any of us from becoming frenzied and possible ways for Mathew to snap us out of it —that don’t require his pheromones— are at the top of the list.
But first, Vera needs to sleep this off. We’ll deal with the rest once she wakes up again.
4