Page 98 of Sun Elves of Ardani

She was nothing like him. A young human woman, awkward and introverted, utterly lacking in warmth and charm but overflowing with sharp intelligence, determination, blunt honesty, and charity. To earn her attention was a rare privilege. He still did not know what he’d done to deserve it.

Their time in Kuda Varai had felt unreal, and that had made it feel safer. It had felt like a brief diversion to him, like things would go back to normal after they left Kuda Varai and went their separate ways.

But things never went back to normal. Nothing had ever felt quite right after that. The years without her had been empty. From the day he’d met her, she’d put a light in his life that was dulled whenever she was gone. He hadn’t realized until after he’d left how dark it would be without her.

He slowly crossed the room toward her, and he could see the moment when she stopped breathing, when he stood just in front of her, close enough to touch, and she had to crane her neck to look up at him. The corners of her lips curved just a little in excitement. She reached out and gingerly put her hands on his waist. He held her face in both his hands, and her smile grew.

“I love you, Kadaki.”

Her smile disappeared, her expression changing to one of shock. Something inside Neiryn’s chest crumpled, but he went on.

“My time away from you was the worst time of my life,” he confessed. “I can no longer see a future for myself that you are not a part of. I don’t want to ever leave you again.”

She paused, as if steeling herself. He waited, doing the same.

“I know you’re afraid I don’t love you,” she said. She said it as if she’d known how he felt for a while. He had not expected her to see it. There were many things he loved and admired about her, but reading people was not her biggest strength. “I… don’t know if I can love you,” she said, glancing away.

His heart clenched. A horrible ache burned through him. He forced a smile that felt weak. “That’s all right,” he said, shaking his head. “It isn’t—”

“Let me finish,” she said. “I don’t know what it feels like to be in love. People talk about it as if it’s this overpowering, overwhelming thing, as if you’ll immediately know it when you feel it, and it’ll make you want to sing and dance and write poems and long for marriage and children. And I’ve never felt anything like that. I don’t like singing or dancing. I certainly don’t want to settle down and have children. And we’re… very different people.”

He opened his mouth to interrupt her, because it pained him to listen to what she was saying and he didn’t want to hear any more, but she went on before he could speak.

“But I like that. I think it’s what draws me to you. I like that you are clever and capable in ways I’m not. I don’t know anything about love, and I don’t know if I’d be able to do it right. Maybe I’m not the sort of person who is good at loving. But I do know that I feel happier and safer when you’re nearby, and whenever you’re not with me, I’m wishing you were. And when I thought you were going to die, it felt like my entire world was going to go with you. It was the most frightened I’ve ever been.

“I know you’re afraid of being used. You’re afraid no one will ever see the real you. You’re afraid of not being cared for the way you deserve. But I think I do see the real you. And I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone in my life. I hope that’s enough.”

She looked up at him nervously. It took Neiryn a few moments to find his voice again. “Why wouldn’t it be enough?”

“Because you deserve someone worthy of you. Someone who won’t embarrass you. Someone beautiful and… appealing, and—”

“You’re more than enough,” he said. He squinted at her, starting to smile. “You’ve been thinking very hard about this.”

“Yes.”

“And you practiced this speech.”

“It was important.”

Finally he took her face in his hands again. “Kadaki, I adore you.”

She put her hands over his. “I love you too.”

He leaned down and kissed her. It was like kissing the summer sky. Breathing her breath was like breathing sunlight. Touching her was like touching magic.

His hands slid beneath her night shirt. She grasped the hem and pulled it over her head, tossing it aside. The mage light darkened, turning her ivory skin a rich blue and dying her hair, eyes, and tips of her breasts inky black. Captivated, Neiryn realized belatedly that her hands were hooked into the waist of his pants.

The thought of his body joining with hers made him quake inside. Having his fingers within her, feeling her body clench around him with joy, had been intoxicating. That rough blanket on the uneven floor was an invitation he could no longer resist. He slowly bucked his hips against her, daring her to continue.

She pushed his pants down over his hips, and his cock sprang free. She looked down at it with interest.

“Can I touch you?” she asked, glancing up at him.

“Please.”

Very cautiously, she wrapped her hand around it, and he sucked in a breath. She gently lifted and stroked it, as if noting its weight and texture. There was a clinical studiousness to her examination that almost made him laugh.

“It’s big,” she commented.

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