Page 60 of Hell Sent

“You’re not always on edge, the way you were when we first left the castle. You were so angry and afraid. You’re more at peace now.”

Azreth thought back. Had he been on edge? Afraid?

Yes, he supposed he had. The fact that Raiya seemed to know more about his emotions that he did was as humbling as ever, but it didn’t surprise him anymore.

The mortal plane was no longer a strange and terrifying place to him. When he was with Raiya, it felt almost like a home—a home he wanted to defend.

“We’re both stronger than we were,” she said. “We’re stronger together. I’m glad you’re here, Azreth. Some things are easier when you’re not alone.”

He had realized that, too.

With each hour that passed, the desire to confess his enthrallment to her grew more difficult to resist. He wanted to submit to her fully. He wanted to be hers. It was grotesque. This was truly madness.

He thought of Basmeth and Atara often, lately. Back then, he hadn’t understood why Atara would put herself in that position. The intensity of her feelings had frightened him.

He wondered how often Basmeth regretted what she’d done. Knowing what he knew now, he suspected that she thought of it every day.

He understood Atara, now. He needed Raiya to know how much he cared for her, even if she disapproved.

One night, Raiya laid him down beneath her in their tent, gently took him in hand, and coaxed him to completion, simply because she wanted to give him joy. There was no pain or regret in his mind as she touched him. He felt no humiliation, no weakness. He only felt love for her. That was when he decided he couldn’t hold this secret any longer.

“There is something I must confess,” he whispered as she ran her hand through his hair.

“What’s that?”

He forced himself to look her in the eye. “In the hells, there is an illness of the mind—a rare and deadly kind of madness that befalls some of us. I have felt the change coming over me for some time. I am not myself. I can no longer think properly. I can no longer reason. I care only for one thing. It occupies my mind every waking second. I have tried, and I cannot escape it. The obsession consumes me.”

Raiya was watching him closely, perfectly still. “What are you talking about?” she asked, but she knew.

“I have let myself become addicted to you,” he said, watching her eyes sharpen. “I think of you always. I crave the feel of your skin and the sound of your voice constantly. Every moment I am away from you feels empty. Where I once would have cared only for myself, I now care for you. It’s torture, and bliss. In the hells, the people who fall victim to this curse are called enthralled. Once the madness takes hold, it rarely lets go.”

It was disturbingly easy to tell her everything. He often found himself unsure of what to say, but not now. The words came naturally. They were words he’d said in his mind many times already.

“Are you describing love, Azreth?”

He nodded slowly. “Yes. This is what mortals call it.”

She looked at him for a long moment, her emotions a confused jumble. She looked wary. Worried. He didn’t want that.

He reached for her, taking her arms. He was almost afraid she would run now that he’d confessed this sin, and he couldn’t stand to think of her leaving him.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “This means I’m yours. Your servant. Your slave. Be anything but afraid.”

She took his face in her hands, pulling him closer. “There is a difference between the devotion of love and the devotion of a servant, Azreth. Love isn’t about power and submission and fear. When you’re with someone who loves you back, like I do—” A swell of emotion interrupted her for a moment. She swallowed hard. “When you’re with someone who loves you back, it’s about mutual affection and trust and selflessness. It’s the greatest thing in the world. People live for that kind of love. People kill and die for it.”

“It scares me.”

She slid her hands around the back of his head and put her lips close to his. “If you are mine, then I’m yours, too.”

Azreth felt faint. Raiya’s mouth touched his.

I’m yours, too.

His arms encircled her. He was a whirl of feeling as they fell to the floor and removed clothing. He had no coherent thought except for wanting to be closer to her, to be one with her.

Pure need flowed from her as she wrapped her legs around him.Soon she was trembling, her hips lifting and her core flexing as she took him inside her over and over. That line between her eyebrows was more prominent than ever as her face tensed with concentration. He watched her press her lip between her teeth and then release it.

“Bite me,” she said.

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