Page 68 of Hell Sent

Then what was this lingering uncertainty he felt? Why was there still a scrap of fear fluttering inside him, even when he had so much to be glad for?

Behind him, the door clicked open. There was a surprised intake of breath. He turned over to find Raiya in the doorway.

“Azreth. Are you all right?” she asked.

He slowly sat up, holding his hand out just beyond the flames. He didn’t want to leave their warmth just yet.

Coming to kneel on the flagstones, she touched his fingertips cautiously, as though his fresh-from-the-fire skin might burn her—a possibility which had not occurred to him, but should have. When she decided it was safe, she closed her hand around his last three fingers, lifting her eyes to meet his.

“What do you need?” she asked.

A soft, pleasant emotion stirred in his chest. The enthrallment.It had become a comfort instead of something that frightened and shamed him.

“Nothing,” he said automatically. At first, he’d thought he had nothing more to say. But Raiya’s silence opened space for him to think, and then to think aloud.

“I have feelings I don’t know how to name,” he said slowly.“I have experienced many unfamiliar feelings since I came to your plane, and since I began to love you.”

A small, pleased smile curved her lips when he said the word “love.” The way she smiled at him felt like a ray of light, as warm as the flames.

He was not in the habit of thinking about these things in such explicit terms, let alone saying them aloud. But Raiya liked hearing him speak, and he realized he liked telling her his thoughts. He could tell her anything, even things that seemed too frivolous to bother someone with.

“I think, maybe, I have had these feelings for longer than that. I think I did not want to see them. Demons pretend they feel nothing but hunger and anger and lust, because that’s all we need to survive. Anything else only makes life more difficult.”

Raiya gave him a look. “That’s what I’ve been telling you for ages, you silly ox.” He felt slightly foolish, because it was true. She squeezed his fingers, prodding him further. “How do you feel right now?”

How did he feel? After all this?

He felt like he was baring his throat to the world and daring it to strike him down.

He climbed out of the fire, flames sparking and sputtering around him. Tendrils of smoke rose from his body, and ashes coated his skin. He looked down at himself, studying the new scars the other demon had given him. They were bad memories written into him, taking their place among dozens of other bad memories.

Raiya was still holding his hand.

“I feel happy,” he said. “But I am also afraid. Because I don’t know what comes next.”

“That’s for us to decide, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know how to be a demon living peacefully in the mortal plane. It is not done.”

“It is now. You can be the first.”

“The first?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Do you think there will be more?”

“I doubt you’ll be the only one. I doubt you’re even the first, in fact.”

He wished he was as certain as she was. Perhaps he’d seen too much of demonkind to see the potential for goodness in them anymore.

“Raiya, I have never loved someone before. Love is a mortal thing.”

“So you keep telling me.”

“Yes. And because of this, I must do something else I’m unaccustomed to. I must ask for your help. You have helped me learn how to be equals. I want you to teach me how to love, also. You speak about love as if it’s always a good thing, but I know it’s possible to love badly and to hurt yourself or others with this madness.”

She seemed pleased. “I will help you love well, as long as you do the same for me.”

It had not occurred to him that she might return his request. He couldn’t think of a way for her to be better to him. She was already perfect. He almost said so, but he could predict what she’d say in response:No one is perfect. And even demons have needs. You’re no different from mortals.

“Raiya. In the dungeon, I fed from you,” he confessed. He spoke so quietly it was almost a whisper. “He was killing you, and I used your pain. I strengthened myself with it. I… liked it. I don’t know if I can rightfully claim to love you when I have enjoyed your pain.”

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