Page 8 of Crown of Ashes and Awe

I found a pair of soft leather boots that fit me and tucked them into a large, knee-high satchel that accommodated everything I had gathered, including a large stack of bound papers Demius might like to read before they were burned.

The Semel sisters, who were much younger than I, shared a private room. If they owned dolls or playthings, they’d taken them with them. I always wondered why their clothes weren’t dull in color and decoration so as not to draw attention to them. But maybe the wealthy used guards instead of subterfuge to protect their young females from the Prospectors.

I looked out the windows and was surprised how much of the day had passed while I’d combed through wealthy people’s lives. But with no restriction on my time, I’d saved the best for last. Mother Semel’s private room.

Though she obviously shared the space with her mate, the contents were primarily feminine. The very air smelled different from any room in our humbler abode. I ripped a seam in a delicious smelling cushion and discovered dried blossoms had been tucked inside.

A small antechamber held her clothing, all displayed against the wall on hooks, all smelling divine. When my eyes adjusted to the low light of my glow stone, I found bundles of dried things hanging from the rafters, but when I knocked one down, to take it home with me, it shattered into bits.

I dug through small trunks and couldn’t imagine the use for most of what I found. But a small soft bag with a tight close gave me an idea, and I scooped some of the shattered flowers inside it. After I went to the door to add the bag to the satchel, I stopped for another handful of cake and glanced at the window.

Completely dark now. He’ll already be in bed.My gratitude and my demand for answers would have to wait until tomorrow.

I collected two more glow stones and went back to the antechamber, and under a long black cloth, I found the most intriguing treasure of all—a large looking glass that reflected my image as perfectly as a pool of clear, still water. It was far too large and fragile to take with me. Besides, after just a glance, Demius would chide me for my vanity and make me drag it back up the hill.

But for now, it was all mine.

Though my master had disguised me as his male apprentice, I was a woman beneath my genderless robes. And since I’d lived nearly all my life in that gorge, I’d never had a chance to don true women’s clothing.

I’d always wondered how my body might look in a gown with my breasts unbound, like women travelers wore through the gully, on their way to the city. I wanted to prove my bulges would fill in the right spots.

The first few years of maturity, I’d begged Demius to let my hair grow, promised to keep it hidden, but he’d declined. Above all else, I was to keep my gender a secret.

He assured me I’d be taken to the city and forced to bear children for the good of Hestia, and that those children would be taken from me as soon as they proved healthy. That my heart would be broken again and again until my most fruitful years were behind me.

And so, I’d pretended to give up my longing for long hair and my secret pining for pretty clothes. When he’d forgotten to cut my hair for a while, I’d kept it hidden in the folds of my cowl, hoping it would grow long enough to touch my shoulders before he noticed. And when he remembered too soon, I’d resented him.

Then I’d come across some mention, some passage about the history or philosophy of the Prospectors, and my rebellious side would shrink and cower. And I’d be grateful I’d been raised by a man who had seen the world that lay well beyond the red rocks of our canyon and had protected me from it.

In the privacy of the keep, I slipped a blue gown over my head and nervously turned to the looking glass. I was right about my bulges. Other than the length and plenty of room around the hips, the dress fit me perfectly. So I went through Mother Semel’s complete collection just to prove that blue dress wasn’t a fluke.

Encased in a delicate wrapping and hung at the back corner of the room—hidden by enough clothing to cover a family for a lifetime—was a gown made of purples. Not one purple, but many, each of which had a texture of its own. In the light of a single candle, it glittered and came to life, reminding me of a rare purple dragon I saw once.

The beast was carried through the main artery of the canyon—a long-dead DeNoy dragon whose body had been preserved. And though the eyes were made of sandglass, I could almost see the creature’s thoughts moving behind them. Plotting, planning.

Obviously, a dress had no need for plotting or planning. But all the same, it twinkled like that dragon’s sandglass eyes…and dared me to slip my body inside. In the dim light of my glow stone, other eyes sparkled and blinked—they were jewels set in a narrow crown. Crusted with amethyst, purple sapphires, and yellow diamonds, it was obviously intended to be worn with my dragon gown. And I wondered how Mother Semel could have possibly left it behind?

Were her pockets so full it meant nothing to her? Had she merely forgotten it was tucked away in the corner? Or had she intended to leave it where I might find it?

Anything we leave behind is yours, she’d said. That made it mine now.

I lowered it onto my head. Small metal teeth embedded themselves in my raggedly cut mane and held tight. Even in the low light, the diamonds shone like golden stars against the white of my hair.

I could not say how long I stood there, mesmerized by my reflection. I imagined wearing the gown into the city and imagined only laughter. Mocking laughter. When I heard it for the third time, I realized I wasn’t imagining it at all. The tight fit of the rock walls and the thick wood had kept the keep eerily quiet all day. But the windows now vibrated with voices from below, carried upon the night air, still a bit distant…

5

A PAT ON THE HEAD

Iabandoned the glow stones and hurried through the bedchamber and into the great room. Light from the stars was just enough to show me a path through the furnishings, though I’d spent enough hours there to know it by heart.

I sidled up to the edge of the window. First, I listened. The laughter was replaced with shouting.

I peeked down the hillside. Glowing light shifted. Shadowy figures carried torches around our home below. Orange fire flared in the cooking pit and painted the faces of five strangers and my master, who stood quietly watching them. Even old and slightly bent, Demius wasn’t a small man, and I was surprised that two of his tormentors were larger than he. One was strong enough to lift a full raincatcher over his head and slam it to the ground, wasting our precious water.

While I watched, I quickly shrugged out of the purple gown, placed the crown in the center, and rolled them up together. I couldn’t very well fly down the hill wearing such a thing.

A sharp growl of thunder rattled the windows, reminding me that the old man wasn’t defenseless. One fool glanced up only briefly, then resumed his game of destruction.

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