Page 9 of Duke of Ruin

“What is what?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at me.

“I just…I have some very strong…very unfamiliarfeelingsabout you, and I just…I need to know what you think of me.” I cringe inwardly. I sound so fucking pathetic.

“I’m not sure how you expect me to answer that,” Noah answers with a shake of his head, but his posture visibly loosens. “I mean, I like you, obviously.” His eyes dart toward the bed.

“Well, with who I am, and who my family is, relationships come with a lot of…complications,” I say as I avert my gaze, but I catch his eyebrows shoot almost through his hairline. Fuck, I’m coming on too strong and he’s going to bolt.

“I don’t know that we’re really ready for this conversation,” he says, eyeing me curiously.

“I can’t…” I pause and bite my lip.

“Can’t what?” he asks. His expression is wary, but not offended…yet.

“I can’t appear to be involved with…with someone like you.” This is it. This is the truth, and it’s all I have. If he can’t accept it, then that’s that, and he’ll be yet another thing this fucking family has taken from me.

“Like me?” Noah narrows his eyes at me and presses his lips together. “Because I’m a…” he trails off. He’s going to make me say it.

“Because you’re a man,” I snap, more harshly than I intended.

“Oh…oh.” Noah stifles a chuckle, and I glare at him.

“Sorry,” he says with a slight smile. “I really wasn’t sure where that was going.” I furrow my brows, unsure what else he could be thinking.

“My family wouldn’t approve, and I’m not in a position to cross them. It would put both of us in danger,” I say. Maybe he’s not taking me seriously, or because he’s not from around here he doesn’t understand the threat.

“Eli, it’s okay,” he says as he crosses the room to hand me a warm cup of coffee.

“It’s not okay,” I say, struggling to keep my voice even.

“Well, no, it’s not, but I understand.” He presses his lips together and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You’re dealing with something that’s bigger than you, that’s bigger than our taking offense to prejudices against who we are. It sucks, yeah, but I won’t hold that againstyou.” Relief washes through me. I can’t believe how well this conversation is going.

“I’m…I’m glad you understand,” I say, and look up at him.

“I don’t exactly walk around proclaiming my sexuality, so we can keep this low-key,” Noah says with a shrug, and it almost feels like he’s also relieved, which pings my paranoia. It would make more sense if he was angry or offended. This is too easy. Is this what a real relationship feels like? One without the constant threat of backstabbing and underhanded lies?

“I’m not sure what to say.” I take his hand and bring it to my lips.

“We’ll figure it out as we go,” Noah says with a smile. My heart swells so much it might burst.

“Yeah,” I answer, and take a sip of my coffee.

* * *

I’m trying to keep my shit together, but it’s been almost a week since I’ve had the chance to hang out with Noah for more than the occasional lunch at Valmont. I’m worried about how tonight will go. I’m taking him to a family dinner at the Carbone house, which has always worked for the girls I’m trying to impress, but Noah has never been under the spell of my family’s money. If anything, it seems to put distance between us. I’ve tried explaining so many times that I don’t care about his upbringing, but it still seems to bother him. I’m hoping tonight I can show him that all families are fucked up in some way or another, and just because we come from different backgrounds doesn’t mean we can’t be close.

I don’t know why this is so important to me. It’s not like we have a real future together. My life is always going to be tied to the Carbones, and they’ll never accept us. That doesn’t bother me so much as how Noah feels about it. As far as personal relationships go, all I care about is Noah. The rest is just business. I can’t imagine that’s how he wants to live his life, always hiding in the shadows and pretending we’re just friends. Hell, maybe the best thing that could happen tonight is that he realizes how things are in my family and decides to just go back home and forget about me. I shake my head. What a bunch of self-deprecating drivel. Noah will make his own choices, and hopefully one of them will be me.

I look up as he walks through the doors. He’s wearing the same black suit that takes my breath away, though this time he’s paired it with an ice-blue silk shirt that drapes beautifully over his solid chest. His expression is cool and confident, almost bored.

“Noah,” I call, trying to look as calm and collected as he does. “Ready?”

He nods, the corner of his lip curling into the half-smile I’ve come to find sexy as hell. We head out to the garage and climb into my Bentley. Once we’re safely tucked behind the tinted windows, Noah reaches over and takes my hand. I wet my lips and look over at him, his dark, mysterious eyes drawing me closer. I bring his hand to my lips, then scrape my teeth across his knuckles, which brings a sultry grin to his face.

“We have to be careful tonight. The family will be looking for any reason to question my credibility,” I say, dropping his hand back into my lap.

“You already told me that,” he says with a slight smile. “Which makes me question your judgment in bringing me along.” He lifts his eyebrows.

“I’ve been questioning that myself,” I say. I turn his hand over and place it against my thigh, and he gives it a slight squeeze that makes my cock twitch. I’m pretty sure this man could make me hard with just a glance. “I’ve come up with a lot of excuses, like maybe you could give us contacts in Oregon. But if I’m being honest, I just feel better when you’re around.”

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