Page 115 of Emylia

It was me. I was causing it. I knew it in my soul, just like I knew that whatever had happened near the forest today was not of my own doing, not fully.

The confusion replaced my rage only momentarily until my uncle’s words repeated in my mind. Then, the malice returned. Lightning crashed again. I could hear the guards frantically trying to remain calm outside my window. But it is pandemonium.

Good. Let them feel my wrath.

Sparks spit through the air like a volcano erupting as another lightning strike hit closer, but I barely noticed; vehemence had already claimed my soul.

My door swung open, and Maalikai shut the door before storming inside.

“How did you do that? It was locked.”

Maalikai cocked a brow, almost as if he were laughing at me. “It’s not hard to pick a lock, princess.”

His eyes cut deep, blue labradorite coating me in a layer of desire I should not be feeling right now. “But we have more important things to talk about than picking locks.” His hands were gentle as he grasped the top of my arms, but his voice was rough. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.” Untethered rage came out in a snarl.

“Then control the power,” he hissed back.

The sky came alight with streaks of light, showering the heavens in a glorious glow. Sparks sprayed down the atmosphere in beautiful red embers as another bolt of lightning hit not too far from here.

“Try harder,” he growled.

But I couldn’t. The resentment I felt was all-consuming. Outrage devoured me, claiming every cell in my body until I hummed with vengeance.

“If you didn’t already notice, I can’t control it,” I spat back.

His growl was just as low and venomous. “You can. You just have to tryharder.”

Was he kidding? What the did he think I was doing? Taking a stroll in the Gods-damned field?

If I knew how to control it, didn’t he think I would be doing it? Instead of torching half of Ophelia, leaving bodies in my wake, and feeling like a weapon forged in ruin–one even the Gods would fear.

“I couldn’t stop it when I slaughtered those warriors, and I sure as Nexus can’t stop it now.” My voice broke, a shameful display of emotion I couldn’t hide. “I—I didn’t even know I had magik. I didn’t even believe magik existed. Not really. Maybe. I don’t know! And because I can’t control it, I’m akiller!”

Maalikai took a step forward, invading my space. “They deserved to die.” His eyes had changed to obsidian, brandishing him with a ruinous abandon that appealed to my own soul.

My voice was almost a whisper as I remembered the worst part. Shame claimed my soul as I braced myself for the words that I was afraid to whisper, afraid to admit to myself and him.

“I almost killedyou.”

As soon as the words left my lips, panic seized me–sharp and suffocating. The repercussions of what I’d almost done branded every fiber of my being, a reckoning etched into my skin like fire.

Maalikai moved forward, pushing me back against the wall, his mouth inches from mine. He took hold of my hands, brushing his thumbs across my knuckles, my breath hitching from the unexpected contact.

“You didn’t even come close to killing me, princess.” The words rumbled from him, reverberating through me from where our bodies caressed.

My eyes snapped to his and all the oxygen ceased to exist. I had crossed the line between good and evil. I had become something I was ashamed of. I was unworthy to be loved by anyone.

Especially him.

I’d always known, but Maalikai had made me forget that. He had made me believe that perhaps I was worthy of his love.

But the lust that raged in my soul at this second shamefully wasn’t about love. Or even about the feelings I had for him. My need came from something deeper—something uglier.

It was because I was unraveling.

Because I couldn’t stand the feel of my own soul anymore.

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