Page 89 of Emylia

“Even with him?” I gave Maalikai a sidelong glance, fighting back a smile as I watched him curl up on the bed that looked far too small to contain someone of his size.

“I would endureanythingfor you.Even him.”

Sebastian continued to ramble, the muted mess of his voice rumbling through me as I fought the urge to fall asleep. All I needed was for my heart to calm down, an effect he’d always had on me.

Eyes growing insanely heavy, I let each word wash through me, a comforting touch lulling me further into abyss until I couldn’t fight sleep any longer.

ChapterNineteen

Frigid wind whipped against my fragile skin, shivers tearing through the length of my body. I tried to tuck myself into a ball, yearning for any amount of warmth to return to my frozen limbs.

Just five more minutes of sleep, that was all I wanted. It was no use; the cold was merciless, seeping into every part of me until I couldn’t stand it any longer. Unleashing my wrath, I sat up in a fit of rage.

The sun almost blinded me, creeping through the arched window, which for some reason had been left open. No wonder I was freezing.

Looking through the window, I could see hues of yellow and orange splashed across an otherwise colorless sky; I ignored the beauty.

Everything was eerily quiet, dawn bringing no sounds of life, even the birds refused to sing.

Instinctively, I turned, half hoping to find Maalikai still asleep on the mattress. No such luck. All that remained was a perfectly made bed.

“He’s not here.” Sebastian rolled onto his back, chucking a pillow behind his head.

Pretending I was oblivious, I gave him a piercing look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sebastian pushed himself up, so he sat next to me, rubbing the sleep from bleary eyes. “He left about twenty minutes ago.”

If I looked even half as bad as Sebastian did, I was in a world of hurt. A pang of guilt rocked through me. He had stayed up most of the night looking after me—despiteour fight. Making sure I didn’t sneak out again.

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.” My tone was soft, testing the fissures that had formed between us.

“You don’t need to hide anything from me‚ including your feelings forhim.” He took a gulp of air, like it physicallyhurthim to say it.

“Sebastian…”

He didn’t let me continue. “After our fight yesterday, I went for a run and had time to calm down. You were right. It’s not fair for me to expect you to be anything other than the perfect creature I love and adore.” He took another stuttered breath that looked like it caused him physical pain. “Even if losing you is the most terrifying thought, I know who you are—and who youneedto be. I will never try to diminish that again.”

The weight of his words surrounded me, sinking into my lungs until even air felt like a privilege I no longer deserved.

“I don’t know if I can risk losing you,” I whispered. “It would break me.”

Understanding flickered in his eyes.

I didn’t speak another word.

I couldn’t.

Instead, I reached for his hand—fingers trembling as they found his—and he didn’t hesitate. He just held on, like I had claimed his very reason for existing.

“Em, I’ve known you your entire life, and there is nothing you could even attempt to hide from me. Not a damn thing, you hear me. So, say what you need to say.”

It shouldn’t have surprised me that Sebastian would see straight through me, but I wasn’t used to this level of vulnerability, even with him.

Knowing how I viewed myself was one thing, the thoughts of unworthiness were a constant companion, incessant. But it was something I kept to myself. Voicing how I truly felt about myself was too vulnerable.

However, the fissures in my restraint had fractured beyond repair–and the words spilled out of me before I could stop them.

“I’m not enough, not for either one of you.”

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