‘I’ve finally written a few chapters, and I think it could be good. But there is no way I’ll make my deadline so I’m going to go and see my editor and tell her everything. I’ve been putting it off for fartoo long.’ I reached out and touched Carly’s arm. ‘Thank you, and Luke, for convincing me to go to Paris. It didn’t end the way I was hoping, maybe, but you’re right – I do feel different now.’
Carly smiled. ‘I’m glad. Want me to come to your publishers for moral support?’
‘No, it’s fine. I can do it. I just hope they don’t give up on me.’ I leaned back against her sofa. ‘It’s crazy to think I was worried I wouldn’t be able to write again. I can’t believe I let Joe do that to me.’
‘Don’t beat yourself up. I always knew it would be a temporary block. You are a writer. You can’t give that up. Especially not for a man.’
I smiled. ‘I’m glad I have you in my corner.’
‘Always.’
‘Me too, okay?’
‘I know that,’ Carly assured me. She patted her stomach. ‘We’ll need you around a lot.’
‘Same. I need you making me tea and passing me biscuits to get this book finished.’
‘Deal.’
If you can tell Joe to go and fuck himself, you can tell Gita you need an extension on a deadline.
That was my inner pep talk as I approached my publisher’s office from the Tube. I looked up at the tall, sleek modern building that housed Turn the Pages with a mixture of nerves and resignation. I knew that I should have talked to Gita way before now. I hoped she wouldn’t be too disappointed in me but if she was, it was time to face the music.
I walked into the office and got into the lift to go up to thefloor my publishers had in the building. It opened to show the reception area complete with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. Feeling like a fraud when I saw my titles they had published amongst the books on there, I greeted the receptionist and asked to see my editor. Gita soon strode out wearing an elegant suit, her dark hair in a sleek bun.
‘Tessa, what a lovely surprise,’ she said, kissing me on the cheek. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Do you have time to talk, please?’
‘Of course. Let’s go into the boardroom.’ She led me through the double doors and across their open-plan office. I recognised most of the faces and waved and smiled at people that I passed. I spotted Stevie on the phone at her desk by the window, who mouthed she would come and see me in a minute. I nodded, hoping she would still want to speak to me once she found out I would be missing my deadline.
Gita stood back to let me go into the boardroom in front of her and I turned down her offer of coffee, so we sat down at one end of the long table. ‘What’s wrong, Tessa?’ she asked, studying me from the chair opposite.
I took a deep breath. ‘I haven’t exactly been truthful about where I am with the new book.’
She took a beat to respond. ‘Okay. Where are you with it?’
‘I’ve only just started it.’
I watched her eyebrows shoot up.
‘Let me explain…’ I quickly told her the story as briefly as I could. Everything that had happened with Joe, us breaking up and me having to find a new flat in a hurry then me finding myself in the midst of writer’s block. ‘Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was to write about two people falling in love.’
‘Well, I get that. I’m sorry, Tessa, that’s such a horrible thing to go through. I understand why it’s been hard for you to write. Iwish you had told me what was going on; I wouldn’t have pushed you for a synopsis or got Stevie to set up the book tour. I know now though so what are you thinking about it?’
‘As you know, I went to Paris and it really helped.’
A look of relief passed over her face.
‘I have started writing. I still think the idea I sent you has legs. A woman thinking she hates love but Paris opens her heart again.’
‘I love the idea,’ Gita agreed enthusiastically. ‘And it sounds like you can use your trip as inspiration. You seem so much… calmer than when I last saw you.’
‘I do?’
‘You were rushing off to meet your boyfriend and you seemed, I don’t know, nervous. Now I know why.’
I let that sink in. I supposed I had never felt comfortable in my skin during our six months together. ‘You are right. I thought I had lost my hope in love, but I am not going to let Joe ruin romance for me. I love writing love stories and even if I’m not in love right now, even if I don’t find my own happy ever after, I can still write one. I love reading romance whether I’m single or not, so I can write it whether I’m single or not too. Joe did leave me feeling bitter, I’m not going to lie, but I can use that for the start of this book.’ I unwittingly thought about Ethan. ‘Plus, Paris was a huge inspiration. Going there really helped me. I am sorry that I will need more time though as I’ve only got a few chapters down.’