Page 78 of Fumbled Into Love

“You’re the only person I’ve slept with other than Savannah.”

Nathalie gasps.

“What?” I sit down beside her, gently wiping her skin with the towel. I avert my gaze, but her hand brings my eyes to hers. “Will you tell me more? If you’re comfortable.”

The gentleness of her question cracks the last chink in my armor.

“I met Savannah in high school. She was my first and…after I walked in on her and Brian, it’s all I could picture.” Her fingernails trail along my forearm in a soothing motion. “I tried a one-night stand as a rookie, but before we got to my hotel room, I sent her away and then threw up.”

Nathalie tilts my chin with her thumb, forcing my gaze to hers.

“You’re the first person I’ve trusted enough.” Her eyes soften, alight with understanding. “Talking about sex with Savannah never felt like something I could do. We had sex, but the one time I asked to talk about maybe trying some new things, she shut me down.”

Why change what’s working?

It wasn't working. Every time we had sex, it felt like she was drifting further and further away, and I couldn’t understand why.

Now I know it’s because I wasn’t enough for her. She was sleeping with my best friend and teammate instead. It wasn’t working becauseweweren’t working, and it was easier for her to pretend than tell me the truth: she didn’t love me at all.

She listens quietly through it all, and by the end of my confession, I’m exhausted.

“We never cuddled after sex,” I say quietly.

I never found that fact odd or concerning until I held Nathalie after we hooked up on Halloween. There was something settling about the action. The small anxious knot in my chest disappeared entirely as we lay there.

Savannah rarely wanted to be touched after sex, and I respected that, but I think…I think it’s something I needed and didn’t know how to ask for.

“Oh.” The single syllable holds a thousand unsaid words. She pulls her lip between her teeth, and her eyes shine with unshed tears. She quickly rises to slip on her nightgown, and when she sits back down, it’s right beside me.

Her touch is gentle and questioning as she rubs my shoulder. This breaks every rule. It was only supposed to be physical. My past is not her burden to bear, but with Nathalie, I’m safe enough to ask for what I need.

No one has ever made me feel as safe as Nathalie has in such a short time.

“I think I like cuddling after sex. I think that’s important to me,” I admit, “I know it breaks rule number two,but—”

“Never apologize for asking for what you need,” she says, her tone leaving no room for argument. “Aftercare is important, and it’s something I need, too.”

Nathalie shifts to lie on the bed and pats the space beside her. Her gaze is searing, and the intimacy in it is overwhelming.

I flop onto the bed and drag her against my chest. She sighs, leaning into the embrace, and I begin to play with her hair, smoothing it away from her face.

The sex was amazing, but this moment, the soft, quiet intimacy she shows me, is terrifying and overwhelmingly real, and I crave it. The way she listens without judgment and validates my thoughts and feelings is what makes her magnificent.

It’s her soul.

She has a magnificent soul.

CHAPTER 18

“Every breath I take is lucky when I share the air with you”

It’s You That Makes Me – Prince of Spain

Nathalie

“Nathalie, get up.” I groan as my body jostles, rudely interrupting my dream where I was the princess of Genovia. I wildly fling my hands around, attempting to shield myself from my attacker and return to my blissful slumber.

Sadly, my attacker continues his assault, gripping my ankle and yanking me from my dream. The crown jewels were so close…

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