Page 32 of Hendrix

“Still haven’t forgotten your bullshit antics back when I was in the vet hospital,” he said dryly, pulling out his cell phone to check his messages.

My mouth twisted into a grimace, the same way it did whenever I was reminded of that time.

Just before I left for Virginia, Breaker’s woman came back on the scene. He’d met Kennedy years before when he went to Vegas with his army buddies. They stayed in contact and built something good, but over time, he began to suffer the effects of PTSD and left her for her own safety after he blacked out one night and got violent. Shit happened, and Kennedy got word he was KIA while serving, so she raised his twins alone, only to discover years later he was still alive.

He went away to get treatment, and that was when I made a move on Kennedy, even though I was seeing Anna.

I glanced at my bud, then pulled out of my parking space, joining the flow of traffic to merge onto Dulles Toll Road. “Different time, different world,” I explained before adding, “Different man.”

He let out a snort.

“You know, brother, it wasn’t about you or even Kennedy. It was my way of pulling away from Anna. I knew I was gonna leave, and I needed her to let me go. Being a dick was the easiest way to do it. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right. I knew it then, and I know it now. It was messed up.”

“Damned straight,” he muttered, firing off a message. “But you forget, I walked away from my soulmate too. Can’t exactly judge you for doin’ the same. I get it, Drix. You weren’t ready for her, and you would’ve done her a disservice by forcing yourself into a relationship you didn’t want. If you had, you would’ve hurt her more in the long run. I just wish you could’ve done it respectfully. Ghosting Anna was your downfall.”

I signaled and merged the SUV onto Route 28. “If it’s any consolation. I’ve lived to regret it.”

“No consolation to me, man,” he replied, pocketing his phone and looking out the window. “Didn’t know about your past when you were my VP. I was too busy tryin’ to reconcile my own and keep my shit straight. Now, I can reflect with a clear head, and I get it. Military men are built differently. Your formative years weren’t full of a mother’s nurturing love. You were raised by men, then bellowed at, ordered, and made to fall into line by more men. How can you show care when nobody’s ever shown it to you?”

I bristled at his words. “I had a good life.”

“And that’s a beautiful thing, but it can still leave scars, brother, ‘cause having it good don’t gotta mean you didn’t miss having your mom.”

My gut tightened. “You think my fear of commitment’s tied to my mom?”

“Don’t you?” he countered.

My stare flicked to Breaker, then back to the windshield.

There was truth in what he said, except I had committed myself to somebody a long time ago. I met Erica at Fort Benning, Georgia when I was with the 75thRanger Regiment, and she was an infantry soldier also based there.

We got married in Vegas three months to the day we met. We were high on life, full of the exuberance of youth, and eager to grab hold of every scrap of beauty we knew our future would bring.

Three years later, she was dead.

“No,” I replied. “It’s tied to a lot more than just losing my mother.”

“Yeah, brother,” he replied gently. “I know.” He studied me briefly and must’ve decided it was time to change the subject—thank God. “So, how’s the Virginia chapter doing? Cash is happy with the green you pull in. Last year’s profits were through the roof.”

“I bet he’s happy,” I shot back. “That fucker gets five percent.”

Breaker laughed. “Sharing’s caring, Hendrix, and I know by the percentages that you guys are raking in more than enough to top up your 401(k)s in a very healthy way. I’m happy for you, brother. I know how much you wanted your own club. Always wondered if Dad would pass Cash over and give you the Wyoming gavel. Never thought my big brother would sort his shit out.”

“I always accepted it wasn’t my gavel to have,” I professed. “Me and Dagger had that chat the day he offered me VP. Cash was in jail, Bowie wasn’t interested, and you were wandering the country after leaving the military. Abe wanted to step down to spend more time with Iris, and I was probably the most sensible choice he had left. I’d led a team of Rangers, and your dad wanted someone with experience who could offer stability. We agreed back then that, one day, I’d set up my own chapter. It was a condition of me accepting the VP role.” I let out a snort. “It’s weird, but I always assumed it would be a neighboring state. I had my eye on Montana.”

“Pretty country up there,” he murmured.

I nodded. “Dad and his buds used to take me up there on fishing vacations when I was a kid. I loved it.”

Breaker smiled. “How is Will? Taking to biker life?”

“Dad’s in his fuckin’ element. He’s a man’s man, so he’s bromancing his ass off.”

“And Hollister?” he asked.

I grinned at Breaker calling Blade by his surname, a throwback from their military days. “He’s a fucking revelation. I thank God for the day you told me about him. Had a feeling about that man before even setting eyes on him. He’s an asset to my club, Breaker. Dunno what I’d do without him.”

He chuckled. “Fucker used to ride my ass like a cowboy when he was my lieutenant.”

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