Page 203 of Hot Cops

“I think it has something to do with the fact she’s never at home because she’s always working. Add to that, her habit of holding everyone she meets up to an impossible standard, and as a result, she spends most of her life being disappointed.”

“Couldn’t have been easy growing up in that kind of environment.”

She scoffed. She’d read enough psychology books in her life to understand her childhood wasn’t as bad as it could have been. “I’m not playing the poor-me card here. I had a fine upbringing. My dad is still in my life. My stepdads weren’t pricks. My mom, for all her faults, loves me. I know that. I’m just saying I notice there aren’t a lot of romance books out there that show how tough forever really is.”

“Maybe your mom hasn’t figured out the trick to romance, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”

She looked out the window of the car and sighed. “All I’m saying is, I think that has a lot to do with my lacking the romance gene. Real life is never as frilly and perfect as those stupid books portray. I have a hard time suspending reality enough to believe in the fairy-tale ending. In my world, ‘happily ever after’begins with a pre-nup, averages about four-to-six years and ends in a divorce lawyer’s office.”

Jarod didn’t reply, and she wondered what he was thinking. She’d gotten accustomed to at least having a feeling for where his thoughts lay. Unfortunately, right now, she didn’t have a freaking clue.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, which gave her too much time to worry about what she’d just said. Regardless of her assurances to the contrary, she was coming off as someone with definite mommy issues. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t push away the thought—dismissing it as a mistake. Tonight with Jarod had been amazing and yet, in the back of her mind, she was already plotting the end, trying to figure out her escape route.

Shit. The words “physician heal thyself” drifted through her mind.

When Jarod pulled up in front of her apartment building, he put the car in park. She noticed he didn’t turn it off, and she was disappointed. Maybe she’d scared him off with her cynicism. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d unloaded too much baggage and sent a guy packing. “Wanna come up for a nightcap?”

He shook his head. “Not tonight.”

Her heart fell. While she’d had a terrific time, Jarod didn’t seem to feel the same way. She should be relieved. She’d let herself get carried away with him, and it was time to rein in her emotions, get grounded once more.

“Okay. So thanks for tonight.”

She reached for the door handle, but Jarod stopped her, gripping her wrist loosely.

“I don’t agree with you.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “About what?”

“Romance books. I believe in love, Stephanie. It exists. I think you use your mother’s experiences with the emotion as an excuse to avoid feeling anything more deep and meaningful than friendship.”

Her chest tightened as Jarod said the very words she’d just thought. Reverting to character, she took the easy way out. “That’s not true.”

He ran a finger along her cheek and she repressed a shiver. He hadn’t touched her much tonight and she’d missed it. “I’ll prove it.”

He leaned closer and kissed her. As always, she melted. Jarod’s kisses were deep, sensual, and they drove her to an entirely different plane. She felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, not only able to feel, hear and taste everything, but to also watch it from above. Each stroke of his lips against hers was unique as he alternated between soft, gentle touches to hard, serious kisses that demanded her surrender. His fingers tangled in her hair, tilting her face according to his whims, his desire.

Stephanie gripped his shoulders and held on for dear life. As they parted to suck in some much-needed air, she repeated her invitation. “Come upstairs with me.”

He rested his forehead against hers. “No.”

“Why not?” She hadn’t misread those kisses, and she sure as hell recognized the bulge in the front of his pants. He had to be in agony with that raging hard-on.

“Because I’m not in this for sex, Steph. I want more.”

Her heart missed a beat. “How much more?”

“I want the whole enchilada. I want you. Girlfriend. Toothpaste globs in my sink.”

Her cynical soul laughed, though she felt like crying. She couldn’t give him that. She didn’t have the time or…the courage.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We just met. We’ve known each other less than a week.”

He nodded. “I know. And a week ago, I probably would have agreed with you that what I’m proposing is crazy. This week, I’m seeing the world a bit differently. I’m a cop, Stephanie, and I’ve gone with my gut instincts more than a few times as I worked to solve cases.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“My gut is telling me you’re special. That there’s a very good chance we’d be a pretty cool couple and have a hell of a lot of fun along the way.”

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