Page 138 of Graevale

-and I can’t imagine a better way to go, or a more worthy reason to sacrifice my life.

However… I also know you’ll beat yourself up over it forever, and that is something I won’t allow you to do.

You have an extraordinary capacity to love, and you love hard, kitten. It’s what draws so many people to you, and it’s a beautiful gift that lights up the worlds of those fortunate enough to know you. Myself included.

But it also means you have an extraordinary capacity to feel the pain that comes with loss. So if you only take one thing away from this letter, let it be this: If I could do it all over again, from the moment you Claimed me, to however I meet my end, I would. A thousand times and more until eternity. Because knowing you has given me a reason to live… and a reason worthy of death.

Don’t blame yourself, kitten. I knew what I was getting into.

And now that it’s done, you need to get up and you need to keep fighting. But you also need to know that even though I’m gone, you are not alone.

Trust your friends. Trust Kyia and Zain. Trust Athora.

And trust Kaiden - he seems a good sort, and he has an impressive right hook. Trust him to look after you now that I can’t.

You saved my life when you Claimed me, kitten. And you’ve saved it every day since. It’s taken thousands of years, but thank you for finally giving me the chance to return the favour.

Eternally yours,

- Niyx.

Ps. Now stop crying and go kick some immortal ass.

A startled sob of laughter broke free from Alex amongst the tears pouring down her face at his final remark. It was so like Niyx to write such a caring letter that would tear her apart and then end it in a way to lighten her world.

It was also so like him to know exactly what she needed to hear, when she needed to hear it.

The pain of his passing was like a raw, horrible ache in her heart, but he was right. She couldn’t become paralysed by her loss. She had to keep fighting, just as she had promised him at his graveside. So with every tear she cried, each one soaking the parchment as she read it over and over, she began to let him go, little by little.

By the time Kaiden returned and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms while she cried loud, gut-wrenching tears into his chest, her numbness started fading as heat returned to her body and a steely determination took hold of her bones.

They sat like that for what felt like hours, Kaiden cradling her close. But the time came when she was eventually able to pull back and wipe her now dry eyes, carefully, so very carefully folding Niyx’s letter and pocketing it in her coat.

“Thank you for being here,” Alex told Kaiden softly, her voice still raw but not dead-sounding anymore.

He brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear, cupping his hand to her face as he just as quietly replied, “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

She leaned into him again, this time with her head resting against his shoulder, accepting his warmth and strength, letting it seep life back into her, bit by bit.

And then, before she realised what she was doing, she began whispering to him. Whispering memories and stories about Niyx, things she hadn’t shared with anyone since it hadn’t been safe for others to know about him.

Word after word poured from her mouth as she told Kaiden about the bravest person she’d ever known. As she told him about the fiercest friend she’d ever had. As she told him about the most loyal protector the world would ever see.

He listened patiently, trailing a soothing hand through her hair and along her back, asking a few questions but mostly just letting her talk.

It was cathartic. Like detoxing a poison from her body. In sharing Niyx with Kaiden, she was making the memories they’d experienced together all the more real.

And she didn’t stop at Niyx. She told Kaiden everything—all about her time in the past, all about hervaelianabond with Xiraxus and her fears of what might have happened to him, all about how it was her fault Aven had turned into a monster. But while she reminisced quietly in the shadows of the cavern, Niyx remained in the forefront of her mind as she shared how he’d been there for her throughout everything she’d faced, both in the past and present. And when she trailed off into silence, it was with a saddened heart but a smile on her lips.

“I wish I could have known him better,” Kaiden said quietly.

“He liked you,” Alex told him. She wasn’t willing to share about Niyx supporting Kaiden in his quest to tear down her walls, but she did admit, “He told me to trust you.”

Kaiden let out a soft huff of laughter. “I’ve been telling you that for ages.”

Since that was true, Alex didn’t have a response. But she also didn’t have the chance to offer one, because Soraya let out a warning rumble—something she mysteriously hadn’t done at Kaiden’s arrival—and a new voice broke into their quiet, gentle moment.

“If you two are done with this touching scene, it’s time for you to get to work.”

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