Page 30 of Wandering Wild

Suddenly, I’m no longer on the side of the cliff, but instead in southern Mexico, vividly recalling the weekend when Maddox flew in to join Summer and me on location in Chiapa de Corzo. She and I were filming the final movie of the series, but we had some rare time off, so the three of us used it to explore the city before venturing out to the Selva El Ocote biosphere reserve, where we rappelled straight down into the forested sinkhole of Sima de las Cotorras.

Nostalgia floods me as I remember how much fun those two days were, but it quickly sours when I think of all that came next. Because a week later, the film wrapped, and then it was only a few months until Summer’s world imploded, with mine following soon after that.

And as for Maddox...

“Everything all right, Zander? Why have you stopped?”

I’m so lost in my memories that I barely hear Hawke calling to me. But the longer I dangle midair on the rope, the more I realize it’s because I can’t move.

Something is happening to me.

Something is wrong.

Pins and needles prickle all over my body, my pulse is deafening in my ears, and my vision is dotting in and out of focus. Hawke yells my name again, his tone full of urgency, but I can’t respond. I’m having trouble breathing, the air leaving my lungs in short, sharp puffs. It’s all I can do to keep gripping the rope, hanging on for dear life.

Maddox’s face flashes across my mind again, his caramel eyes bright with mirth, his copper hair messy from running his fingers through it. He used to laugh all the time, bringing joy to everyone around him, even during the darkest days of our lives. But it was all a lie. And on the darkest day ofhislife, when I tried to be there for him, when I gaveeverythingto be there for him?—

“Zander!Zander!”

The voice comes from right beside me, but it doesn’t belong to Hawke.

It belongs to Charlie.

She’s clinging to a second rope, her violet eyes brimming with concern.

“I need you to take a deep breath, okay?” she says, removing one shaking hand from her rope and reaching out to clasp my arm.

With her words, I realize I’m still having trouble breathing, my vision now blackening worryingly around the edges.

“One big, deep breath in, like this.” She inhales loudly.

I try to do the same, but it gets caught in my throat.

“Let’s do it again, together,” she encourages.

This time I manage a full, wheezing breath.

“That’s it,” she says in a soothing voice, her eyes holding mine. I know I must look as panicked as I feel, but she doesn’t flinch away from whatever she sees in my gaze. “Now let’s keep doing that, but I also need a favor. I’m going to ask a few questions, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to your mind. I’ll answer, too. Ready?” She doesn’t wait for my confirmation before continuing, “What’s one thing you can hear right now? I can hear birds chirping in the trees beneath us. Can you hear them?”

Slowly, I nod.

“Your turn,” she says.

I think for a moment—it takes everything in me to focus my mind—and I barely recognize my own voice when I rasp out, “Rocks. Clattering down the mountain.”

“Nice one,” she says, her gaze still locked on mine. “This time I want to know what you can see. I’m not brave enough to look around, but you jump out of helicopters for fun, so I’m guessing you have no problem enjoying the scenery. Is it pretty? Can you tell me about it?”

I keep breathing deeply, trying to stop my attention from spiraling all over again, and glance around before I haltingly answer, “It’s—It’s beautiful. Blue sky. Fluffy white clouds. Green forests. You should try to look.”

“Maybe in a minute,” she lies. “What about something you can touch or feel? Even with these gloves, I bet I’m going to have rope burn from how tight I’m holding on. How about you?”

“The wind,” I say, my answer coming quicker this time as my pulse begins to settle and my breathing finally eases. I close my eyes as the breeze caresses my face, drying the clammy sweat on my skin.

“And how does the wind feel?”

“Peaceful,” I say automatically.

“Focus on that feeling,” Charlie tells me. “Do you think you can take a step down now? If we go together?”

---