Page 62 of Wandering Wild

Zander rolls his eyes and tugs me forward. “Come on, Charlie, where’s your sense of adventure?”

Flatly, I say, “It’s back at the hotel, where I left it on Tuesday.”

“Liar.” He shoots me a grin that makes my toes curl. “Ignoring the aforementioned death-defying hiccups?—”

“You call thosehiccups?”

“—there have been moments of this trip that you’ve loved,” he finishes. “Admit it.”

I will do no such thing, and only keep tugging against his grip as I say, “We’re going to fall and kill ourselves. For real this time.”

Zander stops trying to get me to climb, and turns to face me. He’s so close that our boots are touching. “Do you remember what I told you when we were about to jump out of the helicopter?”

“I think you mean when you pushed us out,” I correct. “There was no jumping. That was a decidedly involuntary move on my part.”

His lips twitch, but he says nothing as he waits for my answer, so I lower my gaze as I shyly recall, “You said you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

He squeezes my hand again. “I meant it then, and I mean it now. I won’t let you fall, Charlie. I promise.” He pauses, before taking a breath and asking, so quietly that I barely hear him, “Do you trust me?”

I have to close my eyes at the emotion in his voice, remembering what happened the last time he said I could trust him, and how I bit his head off, telling him not only that I didn’t, but that I never would. I’d had my reasons, but still... he didn’t deserve how I treated him.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” I whisper, meeting his eyes again.

There’s nothing but understanding and forgiveness in his expression. “I know you are.” His solemn features turn more playful as he adds, “You can make it up to me now.”

I glance apprehensively at the boulders. “If we break our necks?—”

“—then it’ll be a bonding experience,” Zander finishes for me, not taking this seriouslyat all. “Come on, Charlie. Before we miss it.”

That sparks my curiosity enough that I hesitantly follow him up the rocks, taking care on their mossy surfaces as we climb higher than our heads, then higher still. Soon we’re above the canopy of the trees, and only then do we reach the top, where we come to rest upon a large, flat boulder.

Standing there and staring out over the crown of the forest glittering in the moonlight, with the mountains surrounding us on all sides, I can admit that it’s a beautiful sight. But when I turn to Zander, he’s not looking at the view.

He’s looking up.

I follow his gaze, and a gasp leaves me at the starry expanse stretching above our heads. I’ve never seen the night sky so clear, the Milky Way so close that I could almost reach out and touch it.

I’m stunned speechless by the magnificence before me. Zander, too, is silent, as if we both fear that uttering a sound will break the magic of what we’re seeing. Instead, we sit down on the edge of the boulder, our legs dangling out over nothing but air, our heads still tilted upward as we marvel at nature’s most spectacular offering.

I don’t know how long we sit like that—long enough for me to begin shivering from the cold, long enough for Zander to pull me closer to his body, long enough for me to not even question it when his arms wrap around me and I curl into his warmth again. I can’t remember the last time I felt this safe, and because of that, I take a risk—and open my heart.

“My mum and I used to stargaze,” I say quietly. Zander’s head turns toward me, but I can’t look at him and still share what I want to, so I keep my eyes upward. “There’s a lookout near where I live, and she used to take me there on clear nights. We’d bring blankets and snacks and cuddle together as we tried to find different constellations.” A sad laugh leaves me. “We weren’t very good at it. Though there were a few we could always find.” I raise my hand to point them out as I list, “The Seven Sisters”—I move my fingers to the right—“Emu in the Sky”—I move again—“Orion’s Belt”—I then stop at four bright stars, with a fifth, smaller one between them—“and the Southern Cross. That one was always the easiest to find. Mum used to say—” My voice is suddenly hoarse, but I make myself go on, “She used to say that as long as I could see the Southern Cross, then I’d always know she was with me, somewhere under the same sky. She said I’d never be alone, as long as I remembered that.” I swallow, and it feels like there are knives in my throat. “But then she left me, and—and?—”

I can’t bring myself to finish. I don’t even realize I’m crying until Zander wipes a tear from my cheek. Then another.

It takes me a full minute to pull myself together, and when I do, I inhale shakily and share, my voice barely a whisper, “The first few weeks after she died were like a black hole. I don’t remember anything. Ember didn’t leave my side, forcing me to eat and drink and sleep. I’d never known grief like that—I didn’t know how to process it, physically, mentally, or emotionally. How could I go on when Mum was gone? How could I live knowing I’d never see her again?”

I still have trouble thinking back to those early days when my pain was raw and unrelenting. Even now, I don’t want to linger there, so I continue, “But then I found something that helped pull me out of the darkness. Not completely—just enough that I could breathe again. It was a distraction, but at the time, a distraction was exactly what I needed.”

When I don’t go on, Zander asks, his voice full of all the pain he feels for me, “What was it?”

There’s no way for me not to be embarrassed as I admit, “You.” I feel him startle beside me.

I quickly explain, “Notyou-you, though I guess it was, uh, kind of you. I just mean—” I cut myself off before I can ramble too far, and start over. “I told you how Ember was with me constantly, and you already know she’s obsessed with you, so unsurprisingly, she was streaming all of theLost Heirsmovies on repeat in the hope that it would take my mind off—off everything. And somehow, it worked. Instead of me visualizing Mum’s death over and over, I began to daydream about being in the Enchanted Vale with Prince Tyron, and how we would slay dragons together and overthrow the corrupt kings and queens of the Five Realms. It was a pure fantasy playing out in my mind, nothing but escapism from the pain of my real life, but front and center to it all was, well,you.”

My face heats with my confession, and I keep my gaze firmly on the stars as I continue, “You were my safety net, Zander. I know it sounds mad, and even a bit stalkerish, but you kept me sane during that time. Not just as Prince Tyron, but asyou.” I’m not about to expand on my stalkerish admission by sharing how I watched every interview I could find as a way to feel connected to him. He can fill in those mortifying details himself. “And I know it’s not fair of me, but that’s the reason why what you did impacted me so strongly. Because I’d finally found something solid to anchor me in the wake of my mum’s death, and then, only three months later, your DUI was all over the headlines, and I thought—I thought—” I rasp out the words, “Suddenly, my hero turned out to be no better than the man who killed her.”

Zander’s arms tighten around me, almost painfully. “God, Charlie, I’m so sorry. I?—”

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